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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com

mastodon 4.6.4

Je parle aussi #français. Hablo tambien #español.

Formerly banned in Texas!

🏴󠁣󠁡󠁱󠁣󠁿🇨🇦🇺🇸 I'm an #ActuallyAutistic white male-presenting #enby (#nonbinary, he/they/she). Self-dx. Late-dx. I discovered that I was on the spectrum in March 2023. I believe that it is my #cancer that altered my #brain in such a way that I am less able to #mask now.

I'm also a #Zen #Buddhist, #pansexual, #polyamorous, and into #BDSM.

(Le drapeau noir est supposé être un drapeau du #Québec.)

434 Followers

478 Following

50 Posts

Joined August 06, 2023

My Blog:

https://www.yourautisticlife.com/

Mon Blogue:

https://www.votreviedautiste.com/

Satire:

https://www.thedailyisotope.com

Posts

Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Aug 06, 2026

RE: https://lgbtqia.space/@aceofcosmicspace/117048364035967179 "Give it to me straight, doctor. What is it?" "You've got an alien parasite inside of you." "An alien? When is this xenomorph going to burst?" "No, no, no. Not a xenomorph. Baby Yoda. You've got Baby Yoda attached to your heart." "Ah..." "Symptoms include mastery of The Force, and Yoda speech." "No way, there is that like Yoda speak, I will!!" #xenomorph #alien #yoda #BabyYoda

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Jul 23, 2026

Replying to @fluffy@plush.city

@fluffy@plush.city True story: my cat used to barf at my previous apartment. Rather than pick it up right away, I'd let it dry. It was much easier to clean up dry than wet. Sometimes, this meant that it would stay there a few days. In those cases where I thought I *might* step in it, I'd take a paper towel and put it over the spot. I've moved to a new apartment almost two months ago, and he hasn't barfed here yet.

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Jul 05, 2026

Replying to @emily_rugburn@lgbtqia.space

gross anniversary NSFW Hover or focus to reveal Sensitive

@emily_rugburn@lgbtqia.space If the gross bits were only the lack of AC and the PBR (which I assume is beer), then I'd suggest being open to it, but wanting a better situation next time. I've had one extended threesome in my life. (It went on for 5-7 days...) It was in my apartment, so we had AC, and I was sober. Verdict: it was a nice experience, would do it again. @NickGates@friendsofdesoto.social

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Jun 30, 2026

I might as well make the announcement that my ex-boyfriend and I are on a break from one another. The decision was a joint one, and amicable.

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Jun 09, 2026

Replying to @Jyoti@mas.to

@Jyoti@mas.to "What's your favorite country?" "Narnia." "But that's made up." "YOU're made up, a figment of my imagination."

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · May 15, 2026

RE: @NoveltyBot@mastodon.social

I love how they put "wad" in quotes.

"Hey, do you want to see the size of my 'wad'?"

"..."

"My 'wad' is huge."

"..."

"Wanna s... Hey! Where are you going??!"

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · May 15, 2026

Does anyone know of a translation tool less liable to obliterate the author's voice than DeepL?

If I do an English to Spanish and then a Spanish to English translation, I start with:

"What are your reasons for learning Spanish?"

I end up with:

"Why do you want to learn Spanish?"

This is too much meddling with what I wrote. This is just an example I have ready. I can get much worse.

I don't have money to spend on this. Suggesting paying services is a waste of both our times.

I'm also trying to stay away from GAFAM solutions.

#DeepL #FediAsk #translation

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · May 15, 2026

I had the opportunity to talk with Xfinity (Comcast) support this morning.

I was treated to an upsell. Sure, it costs nothing for the first year, but then what does it cost? It is an upsell pure and simple. She said "you can cancel any time." I replied "You can cancel it now."

I was also treated to technical nonsense. The problem (which I still cannot say has been fixed) has to do with bridging and port forwarding. She asked for the name of my Wi-Fi network, which has nothing to do with these issues.

She should have realized she was talking to someone who knows something about networking when I sent her a traceroute output.

Screenshot of the upsell below.

And they wonder why they are so hated... :holdthepain:

#Xfinity #Comcast #CSRs #upsell #networking #traceroute

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · May 15, 2026

Wouf, câlisse!

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · May 14, 2026

The Indie Beat Television has an ad that says "be kind, please rewind."

Of course, I always rewind the streams that I watch.

Even better, I watch them in reverse once I'm done watching them forward. That way, I don't have to rewind. :meow_beret_coffee:

#BeKindRewind #TheIndieBeatTelevision #nonsense

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · May 14, 2026

I sent an email with three questions, and I explicitly said that I need three answers.

'cause the last time I sent multiple questions to that individual, one of my questions was ignored.

:holdthepain:

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · May 14, 2026

I'm no car enthusiast. I have a car to get me from point A to point B. That's it.

So it is not like I'm following the car market with great excitement. I barely knew what BYD is about before I saw the following video.

Now, however, I can confidently say that Elon Musk is sucking his own dick while BYD is eating his lunch.

#cars #Tesla #BYD #EVs

https://youtu.be/V8sXTB3hm2Q

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · May 14, 2026

I'd like to say that my upcoming move (two weeks from now) is going to be a poor individual's move.

But I can't.

Oh, I ain't rich, but I blew this notion when I bought boxes. 😱 I tried to get boxes for free, but those that I could find were in jurisdictions where I don't want to go, too far, too messy, etc. The clock was ticking, and so I bought boxes so that I could start packing.

Maybe we can call it a reasonable individual's move. After all, I'm not asking anyone to do packing for me... so I don't have to pay for this work.

Maybe we can also call it an ingenious individual's move. I've never done this before, but I'm now repurposing my empty granola bar boxes, and my breakfast cookie boxes to hold smaller stuff. Then I put these boxes into the bigger moving boxes.

Here's a picture of a granola bar box full of Raspberry Pis.

(Actually, for my previous moves I did repurpose plastic yogurt containers to hold loose change and things of the sort.)

"Pfft! Old news. I've done this forever."

I know. I'm slow. 😭

#moving #MovingWhileAutistic

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · May 14, 2026

"First name?"

"Cylon."

"Cylon? I take it your parents were Battlestar Galactica fans."

"No. They were great toaster collectors, however."

#Cylons #BattlestarGalactica #toasters

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · May 14, 2026

A neuroqueer meeting is happening Sunday, May 17th at noon. It is followed at 2pm by a board game event. (Times are US Eastern.)

This is happening at the MoCo Pride Center.

https://www.mocopridefamily.org/events/neuroqueer-meeting-group-tpkcy

https://www.mocopridefamily.org/events/gfghled92vvbdlbvcp7xmwx62q3x9e-z3jfm-23mdl-lb8hz-r4jfy-x8nc6-t5r7m-ezm54-shkhb-7lazf-etnay-r46dm

#NeuroqueerMeetings #neuroqueer #BoardGames #queer #neurodivergent

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · May 06, 2026

Replying to @Zumbador@mefi.social

@Zumbador@mefi.social I know that "hands" is the consecrated term, but they look nothing like hands (usually). "Arrows" makes a lot more sense, especially given that you can find a good deal of analog clocks with hands that are actual arrows. The word we use in French translates to "needles" in English.

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · May 04, 2026

Replying to @barefootrambling@autistics.life

@barefootrambling@autistics.life I once published an allegorical autobiography. Its title was: The Liminal Man Then I unpublished it. For one thing I did NOT know what I am autistic when I wrote it, and I did not know that I am nonbinary either. (Don't go searching for it on the web, you'll find all kinds of other works with the same title.) @autistics@fedigroups.social

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Apr 29, 2026

Replying to @miffyhelen@beige.party

@miffyhelen@beige.party The best kind of jail!

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Apr 29, 2026

Replying to @tostadillo@masto.es

@tostadillo@masto.es Me gusta Delta Chat. Lo uso, pero en esta aplicación no hay forma de administrar los grupos. Cualquiera puede echarte de un grupo. Esto es un problema cuando tratas con gente que no conoces muy bien. @jesusruperto@masto.es @Roboron@masto.es

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Apr 26, 2026

Replying to @yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com

Johns Hopkins answer to my complaint was essentially: "Fuck off, peasant." No, not explicitly. The complaint office did not reply to my complaint. They had a nurse contact me by email and make a bunch of proposals that were at inadequate locations. So I picked a doctor at an appropriate location. The nurse got me an appointment... ...in December 2026. :why: You know the saying, play stupid games, win stupid prizes? Johns Hopkins is playing stupid games... it is about to win a stupid prize. I'm done trying to get primary care with them. I'm going to get my care somewhere else. #JohnsHopkins #doctors #complaints

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Apr 23, 2026

Sneaky scammer is sneaky!

I got an email from my financial institution for a financial transaction. The subject line said "Pending charge" for almost $1000 dollars, but the transaction itself was a very small payment to me. So I went to the financial outfit's website to check the transaction.

I was expecting it *NOT* to be there, but it was.

I double-checked the email. All the links were to my financial institution and the phone number inside the mail was correct for the institution.

However, it had a different phone number in the subject line.

I reported the transaction.

Here is what I suppose the scenario went like in the scammer's mind:

"I'm going to give the smallest sum I can to my marks. Being the upstanding citizens that they are, or being scared by the 'pending charge' I'm putting in the subject line, they are going to call the number in the subject line to report that I erroneously gave them money. I answer, and scam them. Yay!"

#scammers #scams

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Apr 15, 2026

"Greeting fartling! We come in peace."

"Fartling? I'm offended. Why not call me an Earthling?"

"Do you fart?"

"Well... yes."

"We do not fart. We prefer to focus on something that distinguishes you from us, so fartling it is."

#farts #fartlings #microfiction

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Apr 15, 2026

"Vance warns the pope should 'be careful' when talking about theology"

So now Vance is going to school the head of the Catholic Church in theology?

:headache:

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/trump-administration/vance-warns-pope-careful-talking-theology-rcna331881

#USNews #USPol #JDVance #ThePope #theology

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Apr 13, 2026

Replying to @bela@neopaquita.es

@bela Mi portátil es definidamente decente, pero no sé si es bastante barato para ti. Lo compré de https://laptopwithlinux.com/ Esta empresa es europea. Como puedes imaginar los portátiles que venden vienen con Linux o sin sistema operativo.

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Apr 05, 2026

"Cocaine and caffeine detected in shark in The Bahamas, study shows"

Oh, good. Sharks amped up on caffeine and cocaine is just what we needed. They were way too docile before.

:holdthepain:

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/cocaine-caffeine-detected-shark-bahamas-rcna266789

#news #sharks #cocaine #caffeine

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Apr 02, 2026

#moths #autism #AutismAcceptanceMonth #meme

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Mar 31, 2026

English: cauliflower

Français: coulis de fleurs

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Mar 31, 2026

Les foufounes éclectiques

#LesFoufounesÉlectriques #LesFouf

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Mar 30, 2026

I wish the .clown TLD existed.

Then I could have an instance named

mastodon.clown

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Mar 30, 2026

Replying to @yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com

Aaaannnd.... I had to send Johns Hopkins a formal complaint.... again. They are having me run in circles. #JohnsHopkins #complaints #doctors

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Mar 30, 2026

It's a pick your own frustration adventure.

I'm trying to schedule a new appointment with a new PCP. I cannot schedule it only because the system tells me I already have a PCP. :why:

I complained by messaging to the nurse who informed me my PCP is leaving, but another nurse came back saying that the PCP had been removed from my file.

I try again and I get the same message.

So I have to decide which frustration to pick. Tell the nurse that replied to me that I still have a PCP, or call the appointment line to figure things out.

I call the appointment line, and when I can talk to someone, I learn that I have some other person into the PCP slot... I don't recall ever meeting them.

So now I'm on hold while the CSR is trying to talk to that doctor's office to figure out what's what...

Oh, and of course, while I'm on hold, I get messages telling me that I can schedule online. :headache:

:holdthepain:

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Mar 30, 2026

Did I fart????

My primary care physician, who I saw a bunch of times, left Johns Hopkins.

I pick a new PCP. I was going to have an appointment with them, but it was cancelled. I made a new appointment with the same PCP, but I just got a message that they are leaving the practice.

I'm starting to feel self-conscious. 🥲

#doctors #JohnsHopkins

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Mar 30, 2026

"Comme les vieux et comme les fraisières..."

(Toujours ma surdité partielle.)

#SurditéPartielle

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Mar 30, 2026

"La pisse est belle..."

(Merci surdité partielle.)

#pisse #SurditéPartielle

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Mar 30, 2026

Well, that brings a whole new meaning to "I'll knock that smile right off your face."

This thought is brought to you because I was watching an animation made with plasticine, and one of the characters punched the other one in the face, and the lips of the punchee ended up on the floor.

You're welcome... or something...

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Mar 30, 2026

"Hahahaha!" exclaimed John, bemused by the situation.

"Wait a damn minute!"

"What?"

"Why are you laughing?"

"I'm bemused by the situation."

"What do you think it means?"

"That I'm amused."

"Bemused means confused, not amused."

"Oh."

"Stop laughing and act confused now."

" 😕 "

#bemused #confused

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Mar 30, 2026

"Captain, I detect a sudden gas emission."

"Source?"

"Give me a sec. It is coming... from the bridge."

"The bridge?"

"Yes."

"But that's not possible... unless.... someone... farted."

#StarTrek #farts

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Mar 30, 2026

Den stora älgvandringen starts on April 22nd.

https://www.svtplay.se/den-stora-algvandringen

#DenStoraÄlgvandringen #TheGreatMooseTrek #moose

Den stora älgvandringen

I flera tusen år har älgarna vandrat samma leder för att komma till sommarens rika betesmarker. For several thousand years the moose have walked the same path to get to the rich pastures of summer. F

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Mar 29, 2026

I am but a poofdingle.

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Mar 29, 2026

"I'm famished. What's for supper?"

"Liquid Chicken. ™️ "

"Liquid Chicken ™️ ? Yay!"

Liquid Chicken ™️ is sure to bring a smile to all your family members' faces when you mention it. Ask for it by name at your local grocery store.

"Do you sell Liquid Chicken ™️ ?"

"Liquid what now?"

"Liquid Chicken ™️ "

"Ew! Hell no. Try the undertaker next door."

Liquid Chicken ™️ by the makers of Solid Milk ™️ .

#LiquidChicken #SolidMilk #chicken #milk

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Mar 29, 2026

"The appearance of consciousness was an accident. Whether it was a fortunate or an unfortunate accident depends on perspective."

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Mar 29, 2026

"Here we have a werewolf preforming an interpretive dance about heartbreak."

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Mar 29, 2026

Allez enfants de la tartine, le jour de poire est arrivé.

#tartine #poire

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Mar 29, 2026

I find that the mainstream media has been fucking quiet about No Kings 3.

The biggest protest in US history, and they don't give it the space it deserves?

That's some lame shit. 👎

This is for the mainstream media: 🖕

#USPol #USNews #NoKings #NoKings3 #news #MainstreamMedia

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Mar 24, 2026

Replying to @autismunicorn@autistics.life

@autismunicorn@autistics.life I'm not great at friendships. Do I have friends? Yes. I now do, but I don't see them that often. Friendship is mysterious to me. On the romantic front, all my relationships started online. Yes, even with my ex-wife. It was in 1996, and we used email. I also met my boyfriend online, on OkCupid. For romantic relationships, I now use dating apps. All dating apps are crappy, but Feeld is the least crappy of the bunch, as far as I am concerned. @autistics@fedigroups.social

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Feb 18, 2026

Replying to @yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com

CBS released a statement about the Talarico-Colbert incident. I knew as soon as I heard about it that it was written in Weaselese. I was right. Colbert addresses it in this video: https://youtu.be/OQIljje2B_Q #USPol #FCC #StephenColbert #JamesTalarico #censorship #CBS #ParamountPlus #ParamountPus #Weaselese

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Feb 17, 2026

The FCC does not want you to see Stephen Colbert's interview with James Talarico. CBS caved and instructed Colbert not to show it on broadcast.

It can be shown online, however, since the FCC does not rule over streaming.

I don't usually watch Colbert's interviews, but I made an exception. It was mainly to piss off the FCC chair, but I did not regret it.

I suggest you do the same. It sure would be nice if we can bring up viewership through the roof.

And to the FCC, to borrow from Stephen, "FCC You!"

https://youtu.be/oiTJ7Pz_59A

#USPol #FCC #StephenColbert #JamesTalarico #censorship #CBS #ParamountPlus #ParamountPus

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@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Jan 28, 2026

Replying to @roknrol@beige.party

@roknrol@beige.party Just like legibility is the ability to be read, and edibility is the ability to be eaten, stability is the ability to be stabbed.

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Nov 25, 2025

Replying to @signalapp@mastodon.world

@signalapp@mastodon.world I'm not going to claim that scams don't exist on Signal, but my current stats are: Scam attempts on Signal: 0 Scam attempts on Telegram: dozens... So... yeah... #SignalApp #Signal #scams

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Your Autistic Life

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com · Nov 20, 2025

Last night, I dreamed of some bagels!
- Madonna, La isla bonita

#Madonna #LaIslaBonita #CorruptedLyrics

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