Melon Poly!

did you know? there was actually a time when stand up comedy was outlawed. in the early 1900s jokes were so bad the government had to ban them.

That time was called The Punhibition.

however, that did not stop comedians. there were places, hidden from prying eyes, where you could see and perform comedy if you knew where to look.

those were called Speakcheezys.

#funny #comedy #dadjokes

🎶 as above / so below / work sucks / I know 🎶

me caveman. you cavemen. we write on stone about use of scary fire when add to bushes and sticks.

me make rule. no one unga bunga talk about following:

• food no more and cavemen hurt because fire
• trees and grass no more because fire
• any unga bunga talk about fire copyright
• other cavemen good or bad because use fire

me caveman ask cavemen with pointy sticks to force rule.

#NoAI #Linux #rust #programming

had a dream where i was excitedly telling someone about the worst gameboy ever made. some toy company made a Star Wars Special Edition game boy that was just a toy xwing with a screen and controls on the bottom at a really awkward angle. nobody liked it because it was so unwieldy to hold and the buttons were awful. i was looking for pictures of it to show to someone and it was hard to find any where it wasnt broken or the screen wasnt scratched up because of how flimsy it was. just absolute dogshit.

#starwars #retrogaming #dreams #nintendo

my brain when doctors suggest exercise or walks to cure what ails me: wow, okay if you dont want to take me seriously you could just say so :(

my brain also when i am outside feeling the cool breeze, the warm sun, and the gentle grass: wow everything is fine now actually im cured* :)

*(i am not cured)

:blobcatnerd: um, actually, you see, Oedipus is the name of the son. Its a common misconception. You're actually thinking of Oedipus' Mother. :blobcatnerd:

#funny #oedipuscomplex

RE: @zoug@infosec.exchange

When you rattle your suspect like this its not just one more thing — it's clever way to let them know you aren't the bumbling detective they think you are.

this is what it sounds like when someone gets upset at being scrutinized for using AI despite the several very real and very negative consequences as reasons not to:

#ai #NoAI #Linux #funny #technology

is linux ableist? how?

some backstory: i was talking to a friend who was thinking of switching away from windows 10 to a mac because windows 11 is... well, terrible for a slew of reasons. i, perhaps too excitedly, brought up linux. they were talking about wanting something that works and i said i struggled with too and linux is actually much easier to use than i thought it'd be.

they then called me ableist for recommending linux because its assumptive that someone who is neurodivergent like them would have an easy time with linux at all. that how linux works itself is inaccessible and ableist in of itself (whereas macs and windows are not). i tried opening up a more in depth conversation about it but they werent available for it. so i figured id ask here, because im really confused, and would like to learn more

#askfedi #Linux #ableism #help

was listening to rainbow connection and when the song was credited to kermit i just realized he is the first vocaloid

#muppets #ominous

i did not realize that bookmarks do not notify the other person you like their post when you do it... ive been bookmarking so many posts until my roommate pointed it out... if you see a bunch of favorites in your notifications from me suddenly thats just me going through my large amount of bookmarks to let you know i liked your posts

halt adventurer! if you wish to get any further you must solve my riddle:

there are two cats at the door. the one on the left meows and always tells the truth. the one on the right is also meowing but always speaks in lies.

I ask you, then, which cat wants you to open the door, only to come straight back in?

#caturday

to make up for not posting in several days heres a drawing of my OC doing the "ah...eto...bleh" face

late capitalism enjoyers be like: boy isnt this great?! im extremely lucky today! i got a level 5 SSR ultra rare loaf of bread and a level 3 uncommon clown!

#capitalism #funny #shitpost

@catsalad@infosec.exchange i installed an app where a cat runs around on your screen and the first thing they did was sit on your post and fall asleep :3c :blobcatsleep: :blobcatsleep2: :blobcatsleep3:

sniff has the kinda voice and demeanor where he would tell moomin "facts dont care about your feelings" and "lets say, hypothetically, moomin," before launching into a tirade about snufkin's way of living leading us into moral danger and being shunned from god's eyes

#moomin #shitpost #funny #cartoon

coping really hard by believing any news article i read that seem too awful to be true is actually from the onion.

pedophiles with all the power in this country deflect by calling people like me a pedophile? classic onion.

our computers that companies say are so smart theyll usher in a new era of tech are actually dumb as rocks and making life worse for everyone in every conceivable way? really good onion article there.

all my personal information is out there because someone thought it would be secure if it is stored in a plain text file called KEEP_OUT_NO_HACKER'S_ALOWED.txt? onion writers are on fire today.

my fragile mind palace is a plato's cave and all the shadows on the wall are sickos.jpeg

#uspol

american century of humiliation patch notes 8.0.39

+applebees restaurants are now more like gregg's. their name has not been changed to reflect this.

+toast is now beans and toast. beans are not optional.

-poundland has now been changed back to walmart. we were not aware of the innuendo implied with the name and deeply apologize for the oversight.

+Z is now pronounced like "Zed".

+radioactive shrimp are back in season for a limited time, only at applebee's!

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts y

#gaming #story #npc

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts you a paper thin slice of bread.

YOU'VE RECEIVED A PAPER THIN SLICE OF BREAD! It will heal 1 hp during battle.

*She cuts y

idk what it says about me that before bed ill watch something like 5 mins of anime girls being like "eto...well... i personally think french fries are best enjoyed with mayo, don't you think?"

followed by 8 hours of a northernlion video titled "The Fast Food Incident Supercut" where its just several clips of him arguing with his chat that its not sexist to suggest women prefer to dip their french fries in mayo moreso then men

#anime #northernlion #food

🎶 O-a, o-a-a 🎶

🎶 Dansa med oss, klappa era händer
Gör som vi gör, ta några steg åt vänster
Lyssna och lär, missa inte chansen
Nu är vi här med caramelldansen 🎶

🎶 O-a, o-a-a 🎶

🎶 Dansa med oss, klappa era händer
Gör som vi gör, ta några steg åt vänster
Lyssna och lär, missa inte chansen
Nu är vi här med caramelldansen 🎶

ATTN:

:fatyoshi:

that's all :btae3:

been told by a little kid that there are four genders and they are Moomin, Girl, Little Witches, and Goblin. which one are you?

#moomin #askfedi #poll #fediverse #gender

r/askabugenthusiast

HELP! I HAVE NEGATIVE GIRL CHARM????

hello, my girl charm with the bugs is at -38. how do I get it up????kissies d don't work on bugs,too small. thankyou

#bug #help #askfedi

all the richard simmons kins are quoting my video and informing me that they would NEVER do the same exercise and that I was WRONG to claim that he would. I am dying of embarrassment

I place my hand on your shoulder.

"hey," I tell you as my grip tightens. "I hope this email finds you."

:)

#ominous

been digging through namco music and found this bossa nova track from smash court 3. the vocals sing instructions for putting a burger together and when its done they get told its not good so they smash the plate. imagine playing tennis to this. imagine having to focus on the ball while someone can't make a good burger and cannot handle it. just completely fucks it. embarrassing for everyone involved

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZHhQt9jwMM

#retrogaming #namco #music

atheists, the christian baby is ready for your awesome weeks long road trip and has brought their favorite mixtape. alright! however, not long after the trip starts you realize that it is just various christian dubstep remixes of Wheels On The Bus. they know all the lyrics which they sing obnoxiously out loud. You ask for the aux cord and they pull over suddenly (the christian baby is driving in this scenario). they give you a serious look and say if you don't want to listen to their awesome mixtape they made JUST FOR THIS TRIP that they understand, but you will have to renounce atheism before they let you pick the music. what do you do?

#atheism #christianbabydriver #jesus #christianity #question #roadtrip #riddle

our love is like / real starchy rice / we might have to / rinse it all twice

The makers of Silly Simulations!: The Final Chapter received backlash as there was no way to have your simmies be gay.¹ As such, despite the marketing and the subtitle plainly stating that this was the final fame in the series, the devs responded by apologizing for the omission and that they would give the option in the next game.² They were shut down in 2014 a year after its release and the rights to the series currently belongs to Homophobic Incorporated. ³