Post #338995
2026-02-19 10:35 UTC
Replies (37)
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@agowa338@chaos.social 2026-02-19 13:09
@Buster Heals people => penicillin Oh my, that explains everything! Jesus was a type of Yeast, confirmed Edit: Oh and also explains why eating his flesh and blood are bread and wine, too.
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@moses_izumi@fe.disroot.org 2026-02-19 13:20
>Jesus was actually a form of yeast If my yeast was a master of parables I'd dedicate my life to it as well. RE: https://woof.group/@Buster/116096848875159934
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@heinragas@mublog.nl 2026-02-19 13:26
@Buster @MxAlba That would make the transubstantiation not even a miracle -- you could make hosts of Jesus' _actual_ body.
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@rockmastermike@beige.party 2026-02-19 13:53
@Buster "drink my blood" = wine. "Eat of my body" = bread it all fits
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@benh@mastodon.scot 2026-02-19 14:00
@Buster I always interpreted the > Feeding of the 5,000 as meaning that the food looks unappetising, and everyone pretended to eat it just to be polite. my daughter has taught me that you can easily fill 12 baskets with food that has been artfully shredded to create the impression of eating it
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@psneeze@mastodon.ie 2026-02-19 14:23
@Buster And he spread to 2.3 billion of the world's population of 8 billion which makes him a yeast infection.
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@lasse@social.tchncs.de 2026-02-19 14:25
@Buster Yeastus Christ, you're right 😲!
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@Cadbury_Moose@wandering.shop 2026-02-19 14:43
@Buster Knud Axel Syrup[1]: "Judas, Yeast!". [1] "The Makeshift Rocket" by Poul Anderson.
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@bololacertus@mstdn.mx 2026-02-19 15:33
@Buster Now the part of "eat of this bread for it is my flesh" makes sense. It was not about zombies at all.
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@nigenet@mastodon.social 2026-02-19 15:46
@Buster Now singing "Jesus was a sourdough starter" to the tune of Jerry Was A Racecar Driver by Primus 🙂
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@Yuvalne@433.world 2026-02-19 16:09
@Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1
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@jasper@mastodon.nl 2026-02-19 16:17
@Buster :blobcat: 🍞 nom https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacramental_bread
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@amro@todon.nl 2026-02-19 17:22
@Buster Yeastus! 😂🤦🏻♀️
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@nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.uk 2026-02-19 17:48
@Buster I am pretty Jesus pronoun would be them
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@travisfw@fosstodon.org 2026-02-19 17:53
@Buster in his book Entangled Life, Merlin Sheldrake has a section collecting theories about psychedelic fungi originating religions, connecting possession and enlightenment and so on. Jesus was definitely a fun-gi.
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@rk@mastodon.well.com 2026-02-19 18:13
@Buster Is made of bread. Or the other way around, anyway. Sometimes. Kinda.
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@_thegeoff@mastodon.social 2026-02-19 18:37
@Buster Our microbe, Which is basically everywhere, Saccharomyces be thy name. Thy kingdom Fungi, Thy phylum Ascomycota, On earth, as it is in the ocean. Give us this day our daily bread, And forgive us our infections, As we forgive those who gave us infections. For thine is the power, An- and aerobically, For far longer than us. A mould.
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@adipoeserPursch@troet.cafe 2026-02-19 18:57
@Buster 😜😂👍🏾
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@kitkat_blue@mastodon.social 2026-02-19 18:59
@Buster sounds reasonable! henceforth adopted as my new jesus headcannon. :)
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@dalias@hachyderm.io 2026-02-19 19:20
@Buster Not to mention "you cannot kill me in a way that matters"
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@coeurl@goblin.technology 2026-02-19 19:23
@Buster yeast has sexes? (genuine curiosity)
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@sleet01@fosstodon.org 2026-02-19 20:08
@Buster Funnily enough, I bet Christians would be more upset about the Modalist heresy here than the fact that you refer to one aspect as "Mother".
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@knowprose@mastodon.social 2026-02-19 20:49
@Buster Brian's Mom is offended.
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@josh0@babka.social 2026-02-19 20:58
@Buster sorry, Catholics, no transubstantiation necessary!
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@tr4nt0r@chaos.social 2026-02-19 21:20
@Buster
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@log@mastodon.sdf.org 2026-02-19 21:28
@Buster John Mulaney was almost there: "(singing) Bread is God is Bread".
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@menelion@dragonscave.space 2026-02-19 21:47
@Buster Don't know about Jesus, but Lenin… https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lenin_was_a_mushroom
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@detours_anachroniques@piaille.fr 2026-02-19 21:55
@Buster and people in the cult literally thought his body was bread... while his body rather *turned* into bread! 🤯
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@ivan@tomic.studio 2026-02-19 22:52
@Buster this is actually a good point.
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@Taco_lad@aus.social 2026-02-20 01:07
@Buster spent a lot of time with women of negotiable affection...
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@misswired@aus.social 2026-02-20 01:44
@Buster Well, I already call my starter "Jesus".
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@craige@social.mcwhirter.io 2026-02-20 02:50
@Buster I think if Jesus was a yeast, he'd be Candida. No one wants to hear about it if you're infected with it.
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@mdione@en.osm.town 2026-02-20 09:33
@Buster could you explain that last one?
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@khobochka@mastodon.social 2026-02-20 12:10
@Buster and the holy trinity is obviously a mesophilic symbiotic culture, a holy union of Acetobacter, Candida and Lactobacillus. Like kefir, combutcha or others
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@Gustodon@mas.to 2026-02-20 13:34
@Buster@woof.group I like it when he's a samurai.
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@MachineLordZero@mastodon.social 2026-02-20 17:48
@Buster@woof.group Well we already know Mary was some manner of reptile
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@MennoWolff@ohai.social 2026-02-20 17:49
@Buster@woof.group Holy mother of God, that is strong!