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#joke

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ashwin
Ashwin Dixit @ashwin@defcon.social · 4d ago
New Rule: All marriages should be gay marriages! If getting married doesn’t make you gay, don’t get married. #joke #gay #lgbtq
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chainz
Remi M @chainz@privacysafe.social · Aug 02, 2026
One of my friends said they were getting a bit hungry while we were hanging out just chilling and watching TV so he said he was going to Order Pizza or something like it I think it was Pizza but I Stopped em and said No need let me do Ya a "SALAD" I love my puns:) #joke
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MorpheusB
Morpheus Being @MorpheusB@aus.social · Jul 31, 2026
#Joke #Humour A CEO walks into his office and sees a man sitting on a sofa, scrolling through his phone. The CEO asks, “What are you doing?” The man replies, “Just wasting time until I get paid.” Furious, the CEO demands, “What’s your weekly salary?” “$1,000,” the man answers. The CEO pulls out $2,000, hands it to the man, and says, “Here. Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!” Without a word, the man takes the money and leaves. A few moments later, the CEO walks over to the receptionist and asks, “By the way, who was that guy?” The receptionist replies, “The pizza delivery driver.”
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redcrew
Deborah Edwards-Oñoro @redcrew@mstdn.social · Jul 30, 2026
How do owls say goodbye? “Owl be seeing you.” #joke
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OurParadise
TwoOfUs @OurParadise@social.tchncs.de · Jul 30, 2026
"Was meinst Du, schmelzen wir uns eine Etage tiefer? Hier oben wird es mir langsam zu warm." "Ich guck erst mal." #sketch #joke #heat #fotografie #photography
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aces_funhouse
Ace's Funhouse🔞🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈 @aces_funhouse@kinkycats.org · Jul 24, 2026
RE: https://beige.party/@Mrfunkedude/116975816153047469 😂 #meme #joke
Quoting
Mr Funk E Dude 🖖 @Mrfunkedude@beige.party
They never do bruh. They never do.
Open quoted post
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notkawaii_irl
🔸Eris_of_Dystopia🔸 @notkawaii_irl@cyberplace.social · Jul 24, 2026
Them: Sit properly Me: Make me. #meme #funny #mastodon #fediverse #joke
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MorpheusB
Morpheus Being @MorpheusB@aus.social · Jul 22, 2026
#joke #Humour #NSFW One evening a farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed two buckets to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of it. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The farmer frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the crocodile”.
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n_dimension
Wulfy—Speaker to the machines @n_dimension@infosec.exchange · Jul 19, 2026
Replying to @janettespeyer@flipboard.social
@janettespeyer@flipboard.social Pillaging the country side like locusts does not seem very sustainable strategy 😀 Here is a relevant Mongol horde joke. A Polish farmer finds a genie lamp and after the rubbing, a genie pops out. My first wish is, for the Mongol horde to invade Poland! The Genie is puzzled, but agrees, a horde or angry mongols loots and pillages Poland. For my second wish...its, for the Mongol horde to invade Poland! The Genie is super puzzled now, but grants the wish... Mongols appear and do their thing. For my third wish...I want Mongols again! The Genie loses it, Ok, Ok, you get the Mongols again, but you have to explain WHY!? Why would you want such a pestilence on your Nation? Farmer; Easy; For the Mongols to invade Poland ONCE... they have to cross Russia TWICE ! #Joke
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TheKeystoneCollective
The Keystone Collective @TheKeystoneCollective@infosec.exchange · Jul 19, 2026
I can't believe the classics department died for this. Our entire western civilization is only three budget cuts away from rediscovering etymology. #nolan #odyssey #humanities #classics #greekmythology #twitter #joke
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wboss
Wboss @wboss@waagh.top · Jun 10, 2026
#joke #cat Ну вкусно!
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wboss
Wboss @wboss@waagh.top · Jul 17, 2026
#joke The Return of the King
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MorpheusB
Morpheus Being @MorpheusB@aus.social · Jul 17, 2026
#Joke #Humour A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. He placed four worms in four separate jars The first worm was put into a jar of Jack Daniels. The second worm was put into a container filled with cigarette smoke.  The third worm was put into a container of Hershey's chocolate syrup.  The fourth worm was put into a container of pure, clean soil.  At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results: First worm in alcohol . . . . . . Dead. Second worm in cigarette smoke.....Dead. Third worm in chocolate syrup.....Dead. Fourth worm in clean soil......ALIVE! So, the Minister asked the congregation, "What does this demonstration teach us?" A 70 year-old lady sitting in the back raised her hand and said, "As long as you drink, smoke, and eat chocolate, you'll never get worms."
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Bwee
🩵 Bwee the Fluffdragon 🩵 @Bwee@meow.social · Jul 13, 2026
Posting this just in case #silly #puns #funny #joke
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