Post #731032
2026-03-16 15:32 UTC
Replies (23)
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@quinn@social.circl.lu 2026-03-16 15:37
@jgilbert but the malware ejection is hacked to be super fast, and you shoot your eye out, kid!
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@eccentricgeezer@mastodon.social 2026-03-16 16:21
@jgilbert Oh, my cats would love that!
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@thehole@dasforum.org 2026-03-16 17:34
@jgilbert What did you post coffee mind say about the idea?
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@clew@ecoevo.social 2026-03-16 17:38
Some toaster ovens do that Once had one malfunction, lock until the toast was aflame, then pop open and proffer the conflagration @jgilbert
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@rachel@transitory.social 2026-03-16 17:40
@jgilbert@mastodon.social I'm picturing how badly this would get implemented, with some ejecting with great force and being lost somewhere in the room or straight to the eye, or ejecting early but only partly for a flaky connection... Lmao
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@ljrk@todon.eu 2026-03-16 17:44
@jgilbert make it have a floppy eject sound!
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@jamesvasile@fosstodon.org 2026-03-16 18:00
@jgilbert Hmmmm... this would be doable. Electromagnet-driven MagSafe usb-c that reverses polarity to do ejection?
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@stephaniepixie@fandom.garden 2026-03-16 18:03
@jgilbert I would also be fully on board with an auto-ejecting USB port that makes the sound “Ptoooie!” when it’s done 😆
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@darkling@mstdn.social 2026-03-16 18:28
@jgilbert Where's the kickstarter? Take my money!
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@theorangetheme@en.osm.town 2026-03-16 18:45
@jgilbert I have recently acquired an external Blu-ray drive, and I have to say, hitting a button and making my computer (ish) do something mechanical filled me with more whimsy than I expected. Hearing it spin down like "beeeoooo..." and then *pop* was just delightful.
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@phooky@hexa.club 2026-03-16 19:25
@jgilbert genuinely love this
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@leeloo@c.im 2026-03-16 20:02
@jgilbert I can just imagine a manual upgrade or rooting of a USB device, half way through writing the new firmware, the device is fully charged and the cable gets ejected. Upgrade failed / checksom error / boot loop...
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@yakmacker@society.kalli.st 2026-03-16 20:22
@jgilbert I will accept this only if the force is great enough to send a thumb drive across the room
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@Feral_3D@mastodon.social 2026-03-16 20:41
@jgilbert until someone hacks the ejection port..... the more holes you add...
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@aka_quant_noir@hcommons.social 2026-03-16 21:01
@jgilbert Depends on the speed of ejection and if there's a tray to pop it onto.
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@juanejot@beige.party 2026-03-16 22:22
@jgilbert Used-up/Unwanted Spitout Bot
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@karlauerbach@sfba.social 2026-03-16 22:36
@jgilbert Have you encountered some of those USB-A (and to a lesser degree USB-C) sockets on some cheaper computers? They are so badly made that it takes pliers to grab the USB plug (male) device to get enough grip to pull it out.
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@TheManyVoices@mastodon.social 2026-03-16 22:54
@jgilbert Suggested sound effect for that USB ejection: " 'Scuse me while I whip this out" (from #MelBrooks #BlazingSaddles ). https://youtube.com/shorts/TC_55Er0A4E?si=2L3Abc-DkHNoXSbn
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@manicPxiSIEMGrl@infosec.exchange 2026-03-17 03:18
@jgilbert device driver fails. Ptooie!
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@koval_blazej@fedi.lzspz.net 2026-03-17 16:52
@jgilbert with enough ejection force you could use it as a short range communication protocol
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@chris@myprivate.social 2026-03-18 11:54
@jgilbert @sweetmonkeyjesus As long as it makes the ptoooie sound for all use cases, I’m fully supportive of the idea…
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@malwareminigun@infosec.exchange 2026-04-06 22:48
@jgilbert Why do you want to create more battery wear like this?
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@darthtoddler@infosec.exchange 2026-04-06 23:16
@jgilbert imagining it now as a part of some Final Destination-esque Rube-Goldberg-of-death scene. delightful!