Shye 
🇬🇧
@shye@deadrobots.social
🤡 Weirdo 🍄 introverted 🕷️ spider boy 🕷️ tortured artist type 👻 Graphic Designer 💀 Digital Artist 💀 Music Producer 💀 Character Creator 💀 Web Developer 💀 Storyteller 💀 Guitarist 🕷️ Humanoid like alien spider 🕷️ AuDHD 🎪Humanist 👻 Hermeticist 💀 Linux user 💀 server runner 😈 Worst fear: ⚠️ Getting stuck in a giant bathtub ☠️ Personality: 🎃 One of those people that laughs out loud at their own jokes 🤡 whilst everyone else just looks on straight faced 🦈 Using Sharkey 🔑
deadrobots.social
@actuallyautistic@a.gup.pe I just did that autistic thing again, where I present facts to someone, FYI style, trying to offer some help and guidance - without realising that they did not ask me for help, nor were they ready to accept said facts.
Then to make it worse - I did another autistic thing again, where when they respond with anger, but sarcastically - I just think they are joking.
How am I supposed to know they're angry when they look like they're smiling? So, my response was to laugh, like you are supposed to when someone is joking (even if you don't get it) - but then I continue to emphasise the actual facts... as they are still the actual facts, and I felt were important to understand.
💥Then everything suddenly blows up, seemingly out of nowhere!... 💥 Emotion is flying everywhere ..and now I definitely recognise the angry face. 😠
Then I have to spend the next hour playing it all back, and going through the entire thing to work out if it was my fault, and where that fault exactly was.
I did conclude that there was no way for me to know that they would be triggered, and so I can't take responsibility for that. I also can't take responsibility (anymore) for not "reading the room" - in the same way someone in a wheelchair cannot take responsibility for not using the stairs - especially as I now make a point of telling people that I'm autistic.
However, I did try to force help on someone, not ready to receive it, and who didn't ask for it. Something I have done many times before. Just... out of caring really - but a mistake I don't seem to realise until after I've made it.
But, it isn't just that I was forcing something they are avoiding, but I also understand that with neurotypical thinking, trying to help someone who didn't ask for it, can come across as judgemental. As though you are putting yourself on a higher level, as a pretense, to look down upon them - making them feel inadequate.
For me, in my mind, it was just meant FYI, and a subject I know well enough in the details to feel confident enough in relaying that information.
Something that is often problematic for us Autists in many different situations. Where we present simple facts, but which are received with connotations, or with hidden meanings, that we just never meant....
#actuallyautistic #autistic #autisticlife
