@SecondUniverse@autistics.life
Post #1921626
2026-05-03 16:54 UTC
Replies (33)
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@StevenSaus@faithcollapsing.com 2026-05-03 21:02
@SecondUniverse@autistics.life Agreed, regret rates don't seem to matter for other surgeries: The percentage of patients reporting regret ranged from 0 to 47.1 % in breast reconstruction, 5.1-9.1 % in breast augmentation, and 10.82-33.3 % in body contouring. In other surgical subspecialties, 30 % of patients experience regret following prostatectomy and up to 19.5 % following bariatric surgery. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38688814/
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@nomdeb@mstdn.social 2026-05-03 17:11
@SecondUniverse I have known since CHILDHOOD that I did not want to have children. Now many decades later it was the best decision of my life. Not only have I not regretted not having children, I am thankful that I did not. As for "protecting" people from regrets, FFS. It *is* so paternalistic. Fuck off creepy control freaks who are arrogant enough to think they know best for others.
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@burnoutqueen@todon.nl 2026-05-03 17:12
@SecondUniverse the only thing I regret is not transitioning earlier
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@Owlor@meow.social 2026-05-03 17:12
@SecondUniverse The number one regret among trans people is "oh my god, I should have started transitioning sooner", but somehow that regret doesn't count.
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@terribletowelie@mastodon.social 2026-05-03 17:16
@SecondUniverse why don't people ever regret not minding their own fucking business?
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@jonasgraphie@mastodon.social 2026-05-03 17:17
@SecondUniverse Even if assuming the possibility of regret was a valid reason to refuse care, then some kind of an expectational value has to be formed, weightening the different levels of regret with their likelihood against the different levels of happiness with their likelihood. One might also regret a vaccine if one is among the few people having severe side effects. Still it would be insane to refuse. And I have sever doubts that this is done properly. So even the argument of
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@passenger@kolektiva.social 2026-05-03 17:36
@SecondUniverse It's applied really inconsistently, though. For example, the regret rate on laser eye surgery is weirdly high, but that doesn't get brought up in discussions about whether to allow it or not. It's almost as if the authorities only care about regret rate when it's a stick to beat underprivileged people (trans people, women) with.
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@oftencalledcathy@mastodon.ie 2026-05-03 17:45
@SecondUniverse
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@noodlemaz@mstdn.games 2026-05-03 17:45
@SecondUniverse that's not even what the literature shows. I know because I looked a bunch up when writing the essay one specialist recommended to write to a second before I got mine. It's like 4% regret. Which is the same or less than various other serious procedures. And guess what - way less than having-a-child regret. They always care more about hypothetical future people's desires than our own and it's fking disgusting.
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@clickhere@mastodon.ie 2026-05-03 17:59
@SecondUniverse This is a classic right-wing Christian argument: It was deployed aggressively during the campaign ahead of the 2018 referendum to #Repeal the 8th amendment to the Irish constitution. In that case, the argument failed: spectacularly. The referendum result was the largest landslide in voting history in Ireland - to say Yes to rejecting the 8th , and allow access to abortion. However, the price of freedom is eternal vigilance ", so we can't take that for granted.
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@irene@discuss.systems 2026-05-03 18:07
@SecondUniverse lol I’d love to see the regret rate on kids if people actually answered honestly.
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@heals@indiepocalypse.social 2026-05-03 18:13
@SecondUniverse I wish this wasn’t a universal issue is almost any country where sterilization is available.. My cousin had health threatening period complications this year and lost enough blood to require multiple transfusions. She does not want kids and she told that to the doctors during her stay in hospital. It still it took four people and herself to hammer it into the doctor that treated her before he agreed to remove her ovaries and uterus vs trying yet another bandaid fix. (This was in Germany) [EDIT since I remembered it just now] Another friend lives in the US, she has a variant of glass bones and can’t physically survive a pregnancy yet the doctors refused her request stating “what if she changed her mind and sued them for sterilisation?” /cc @purplepadma
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@NWengrov@tooot.im 2026-05-03 18:22
@SecondUniverse I don't remember the regret rate for tatooes, I'm sure though it's higher than gender affirming treatments. Will they outlaw tatoos because of this?
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@afewbugs@social.coop 2026-05-03 18:45
@SecondUniverse 50% of people regret student loans, but we're positively encouraged to take those out
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@cargot_robbie@urbanists.social 2026-05-03 18:46
@SecondUniverse the rate of regret is a question physicians could answer proactively and I wouldn't fault them for it. Going beyond that begins to feel cruel when you have such severe potential outcomes for treatment denied. Maybe we should have more caution about regrets policing men's actions. What's the rate of regret getting hosed on crypto, or cleaned out at the casino online or offline?
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@dmaonR@mastodon.online 2026-05-03 18:57
@SecondUniverse Regret Rate is meaningless. The regret rate for live saving cancer treatment is 5% or more depending on the cancer.
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@erik@mastodon.infrageeks.social 2026-05-03 19:04
@SecondUniverse As a male ‘fixed’ at 30, no regrets. I had to argue, but only a little compared to what women have to go through. Every once and a while, I wonder about the path not followed, but never to the point of regretting my choices
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@disorderlyf@todon.eu 2026-05-03 19:36
@SecondUniverse More people regret a hip replacement than GCS, but you don't see hip replacements being denied coverage.
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@magpieluvseeds@mastodon.social 2026-05-03 19:46
@SecondUniverse meanwhile, how many people regret filling down their teeth for veneers? Yet that is booming in popularity
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@stephenwhq@mastodon.social 2026-05-03 20:13
@SecondUniverse I know someone on their fourth wife (well 3 and a longterm nonwife). That suggests a regret rate for marriage rather higher than transition.
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@JustRobForNow@mastodon.social 2026-05-03 20:43
@SecondUniverse Tattoos have a high regret rate. Is that service withheld?
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@Argonel@dice.camp 2026-05-03 20:55
@SecondUniverse a life lived without regrets is a life that has been entirely devoid of meaningful choices. There should be exclusive choices in a person's life where they are choosing which fork they will regret less.
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@samiamsam@mastodon.social 2026-05-03 21:01
@SecondUniverse i had a hysterectomy when i was 28 i never regretted it, not even for a minute i saved years of discomfort, annoyance and money body autonomy is a human right we all do things we regret and we adjust and cope
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@julescelt01@universeodon.com 2026-05-03 21:06
@SecondUniverse Interestingly...there areno convos about people getting told no for plastic surgery because they might regret that bust enlargement...or nose job. Ffs...
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@clarkiestar@mas.to 2026-05-03 21:16
@SecondUniverse my sister went through decades of pain, being told she was hysterical, and being denied a hysterectomy “in case she meets a new partner who wants to have children”. Past child bearing age, she’s finally been allowed to have the surgery and they found she had extensive adenomyosis (endometriosis growing inside the muscle), fibroids in the uterus and a cyst on an ovary. Surgeon congratulated her for surviving so long with obviously so much pain. #healthcare4all
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@dianea@lgbtqia.space 2026-05-03 21:23
@SecondUniverse Both my sister and I are way past childbearing age. We chose not to have children. Both of us are very happy professionals. One of us (me) finally got the privilege to transition, my journey since my earliest memories. The only regret is believing the colonizing narrative that kept me in the dark closet all these decades.
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@bellinghwoman@wandering.shop 2026-05-03 21:32
@SecondUniverse I found the way to get round this (50 years ago now!) was to go private - the best £150 I have ever spent, absolutely no regrets, ever. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that for me it was the right thing to do. Thank goodness I didn't listen to those who thought they knew me better than myself.
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@Mage_of_Chaos@mastodon.social 2026-05-03 21:36
@SecondUniverse 20% is a deadly low severe lack of foresight, and you won't know until menopause. AS A WOMAN WHO WENT THROUGH MANY PROCEDURES WITHOUT HER CONSENT, STOP SPREADING MISINFORMATION ABOUT YOUR FANTASIES OF BEING OPPRESSED THIS PARTICULAR WAY. JUST GO DONATE SOME EGGS AND GET PAID FOR IT OR STOP SAYING YOU AREN'T ALLOWED TO. WOMEN END THEIR LIVES OVER THE REGRETS OF WILLINGLY BEING STERILISED AND SOME OF US GET THOSE RIGHTS STOLEN BY IDENTITY THEIVES SO STOP. STOP STOP STOP STOP.
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@jmcrookston@mastodon.social 2026-05-03 21:37
@SecondUniverse Apparently there is a percentage of people who regret having knee surgery. It's about 10%. https://www.arthroplastyjournal.org/article/S0883-5403(22)00931-7/abstract
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@LieschenrelleuM@kolektiva.social 2026-05-03 21:37
@SecondUniverse and if the rate of regret were important - maybe they should ask people about regret when they’ve just given birth and see how high that rate is?! This whole topic of female bodies being seen a reproduction machines in the national patriarchy systems makes my blood boil.
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@rpgwaiter@based.zone 2026-05-03 21:48
@SecondUniverse I spent a lot of time on r/childfree before I got a vasectomy. I heard all these stories about women getting denied getting tubes tied and thought it would also apply to vasectomies for some reason. I got asked "you sure?" one single time by the urologist and that was it. I was 19 btw
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@LovesTha@floss.social 2026-05-03 21:57
@SecondUniverse@autistics.life I'd rather someone regret sterilization than regret a child. Like infinitely.
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@retrosponge@kind.social 2026-05-03 23:12
@SecondUniverse@autistics.life 20%. That's interesting because I believe the regret percentage of hip replacement is higher than that.