Można powiedzieć, że fobia społeczna lekko zjebała mi dzieciństwo, ciągła paranoja przed osądem i lęk by robić cokolwiek co jest normalne...
Ech... Nic dziwnego, że wyrosłam na to co wyrosłam...
#Socialphobia #Rant #Problem #Sad
Leki mi się skończyły, więc będę na przymusowym odstawieniu... Niepokoi mnie już teraz...
Tak, to związane z fobią społeczną...
#ASD #Autism #Socialphobia
Droppie
@MsDropbear42@blahaj.zone
9/5/26: On any given day, I'll be fediversing-about either in Friendica (MsDropbear42@farcebook.space) or Mastodon (MsDropbear42@infosec.space)... OR... this my Sharkey instance MsDropbear42@blahaj.zone. 👍: Classic Oz+Eng lit, sci-fi, fantasy, comedy, satire; Linux+FOSS; Kindness; Gaia. 👎: Cruelty; RWNJs; Anti-Gaia. Stuff: - She/Her 👩 - Straya born, Thailand reborn [16/11/2006] - Linux+FOSS distracts my sadness - For Follow-Requests, you MUST have Profile & Public posts, or i'll Reject! - Fav #FOSSemojis: 
- 
blahaj.zone
sitting here in sunroom at lappy, in jammies & gown, deferring da shower
coz in da shower, gotta wash da hair [hate doing this!]
coz then i gotta move some furniture & ornaments outta da way in my study, loungeroom, & garage, to make access space
coz tomorrow morn, whilst da sparrows are still farting, there's gonna be a knock at the front door
and i gotta open it
and i gotta welcome in ~5 strangers
whose conceptual arrival has been several years in the dreaming, & deferring, & abandoning, & reawakening, & dreaming, then finally a coupla months ago in self-defiance with new-found determination to finally Do It
& so these five strangers gonna be here for a long day tomorrow
somehow i have to endure this intense close-quarter peopling
and hope they're kind & only laugh about me behind my back rather than to my face
but if i get thru it all then...
...by tomorrow night my house will be warmed by RCAC not gas, & my water will be heated by heat-pump not gas
and if that happens & works well then i'll be a happy dropbear
but
all that peopling
so
i be sitting here in sunroom at lappy, in jammies & gown, deferring da shower
#depression #socialphobia #failedtransition #dropbearelectrification #rcac #heatpumps #climatecrisis #renewableenergy
Droppie
@MsDropbear42@blahaj.zone
9/5/26: On any given day, I'll be fediversing-about either in Friendica (MsDropbear42@farcebook.space) or Mastodon (MsDropbear42@infosec.space)... OR... this my Sharkey instance MsDropbear42@blahaj.zone. 👍: Classic Oz+Eng lit, sci-fi, fantasy, comedy, satire; Linux+FOSS; Kindness; Gaia. 👎: Cruelty; RWNJs; Anti-Gaia. Stuff: - She/Her 👩 - Straya born, Thailand reborn [16/11/2006] - Linux+FOSS distracts my sadness - For Follow-Requests, you MUST have Profile & Public posts, or i'll Reject! - Fav #FOSSemojis: -
blahaj.zone
sigh, done all me usual browserising, all me necessary pooterising, just need to go make a sammitch for lunch, then... am outta excuses to not do da dusting n vacuuming
but i don't wanna!
but i gotta!
got two non-me peeps here on Fri to plunge sharp steel objects into me arms, & atm house be like dusty surfaces & floor lint tumbleweeds everywhere
but i don't wanna!
can't some bloody adult come along n do it?
as long as they stay outside & i don't hafta open the front door...
#dropbearshit #socialphobia
Droppie
@MsDropbear42@blahaj.zone
9/5/26: On any given day, I'll be fediversing-about either in Friendica (MsDropbear42@farcebook.space) or Mastodon (MsDropbear42@infosec.space)... OR... this my Sharkey instance MsDropbear42@blahaj.zone. 👍: Classic Oz+Eng lit, sci-fi, fantasy, comedy, satire; Linux+FOSS; Kindness; Gaia. 👎: Cruelty; RWNJs; Anti-Gaia. Stuff: - She/Her 👩 - Straya born, Thailand reborn [16/11/2006] - Linux+FOSS distracts my sadness - For Follow-Requests, you MUST have Profile & Public posts, or i'll Reject! - Fav #FOSSemojis: -
blahaj.zone
given my entirely internal existence >=2010, it's ofc purely academic, but if i were ever gonna buy another #bike, it'd be another #MountainBike, & certainly not, never, an #ebike , euw.
occasionally if i venture into my de-carred garage, & see my orange m/b still hanging there, sadly still with its buckled rear wheel from the spoke that broke during my final ride of it, in 2005, early during my #transition, it makes me pretty emotional. i used to love riding it. fuck i've lost so much. 🥺
#dropbearshit #failedtransition #depression #socialphobia #riding
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