The last thing grandpa said before he kicked the bucket?
“How far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
#jokeoftheday #dadjoke #literalnotmetaphoric
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Nic
@nicbest@mastodon.art
painter, Green Party, credit union, farmers market, grumpy old man, ex Mayor of Morpeth
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Joined January 03, 2024
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I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to realise it was just a Fanta sea.
#jokeoftheday #dadjoke #sodajokeis
Lord Nelson was about 5ft 6in
His statue is 17ft 4in
That’s Horatio of about 3:1
Replying to
@forty2@oldbytes.space
@forty2@oldbytes.space the Milnes are sorted on battery sizes. I guess the George Martins would be rated on relative risk and prospects of reduction
It’s a little known fact that Winnie the Pooh author AA Milne had a smaller brother called AAA Milne
Zwijndrecht (2026)
Replying to
@FionaCraig@mastodon.scot
@FionaCraig@mastodon.scot no - totally new to me, must investigate! I can see the logic of a ninja mushroom though...
Replying to
@FionaCraig@mastodon.scot
@FionaCraig@mastodon.scot no I am not Chris, but maybe I have a similar sense of humour?
I pirated a film yesterday
I gave it 3.14 stars
#jokeoftheday #dadjoke #Iknowitisntprecisebutforthesakeofthejoke
No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery
To all the people who said I'd never amount to anything because of my procrastination….
Just you wait!
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would come down to who is the better cyclist.