The last thing grandpa said before he kicked the bucket?
“How far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
#jokeoftheday #dadjoke #literalnotmetaphoric
Did you know Albert Einstein was a real person? All this time, I thought he was just a theoretical physicist! #dadjoke
Joseph Leedy 
@JosephLeedy@phpc.social
👋🏽 Hi, I’m Joseph, an Adobe Commerce certified PHP developer living on the Colorado front range. I #StandWithUkraine 🇺🇦 Free #Palestine 🇵🇸 #BlackLivesMatter ✊🏽 #AntiFa #Magento #AdobeCommerce #PHP #Motorcycles #Motorsports #NASCAR #INDYCAR #F1 #Formula1 #Flyers #Hockey #Eagles #Football #SingleAndReadyToMingle I implement #PSR8. 🫂 #NoBots #NoAI
phpc.social
I finally finished a book on clocks that I’ve been reading for a while.
It was about time.
#DadJoke
I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to realise it was just a Fanta sea.
#jokeoftheday #dadjoke #sodajokeis
polyonomous
@polyonomous1@infosec.exchange
Hacking since before it was called that. Hack to learn don't learn to hack. My first sysadmin gig was a shiny new Dec Server & OpenVMS. I've watched a parade of OS's & their versions come and go. There were some good ones, some bad ones and some you never want to see again ones. I've been playing musical instruments a little longer than I've been computing. Contents include but not limited too: computers, music, books, humor, dogs, cats, all the creatures, plants/gardens, guitars, keyboards, woodwinds, puns, puzzles & anything technically intricate. I am a fan of talent Let Deeds Match Words I don't know what the answer is but I do know it starts with kindness.
infosec.exchange
#dadjoke
how do you spell hard butter with 4 letters?
goat
My Dad is Dracula (and the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald) 🚢 #webcomicartist #vamps #funnycomic #dadjoke #wholesomememes
Joseph Leedy
@JosephLeedy@phpc.social
👋🏽 Hi, I’m Joseph, an Adobe Commerce certified PHP developer living on the Colorado front range. I #StandWithUkraine 🇺🇦 Free #Palestine 🇵🇸 #BlackLivesMatter ✊🏽 #AntiFa #Magento #AdobeCommerce #PHP #Motorcycles #Motorsports #NASCAR #INDYCAR #F1 #Formula1 #Flyers #Hockey #Eagles #Football #SingleAndReadyToMingle I implement #PSR8. 🫂 #NoBots #NoAI
phpc.social
Save-a-Lot has great deal on the medio litro bottles of Mexican Coke. It’s only two bucks a pop.
#DadJoke
Nils Jansen
@publixpace@nrw.social
#Architekt und #Stadtplaner, großer Fan von lebenswerten öffentlichen Räumen, schönen Häusern und guten Planungsprozessen, die dorthin führen. Und sonst? #Aikido #Schwimmen #Fahrrad #Velomobil #Städtegucken Toots evaporieren nach 6 Tagen. #architect and #urbanist, big fan of livable public spaces, beautiful houses and good planning processes that lead to that. What else? #aikido #swimming #cycling #velomobile #city-touring Toots evaporate after 6 days.
nrw.social
Mit dem Argument, dass von #Staubecken doch unsere Wasserversorgung abhängt, konnte ich meine Frau nicht davon überzeugen, dass wir heute nicht putzen müssen.
#dadjoke
#flachwitz
#flachwitzfreitag
C make #nobridge
Felix (he/him) 🪐
@eraserpuppy@mastodon.social
⭐️ I belong to ryland grace hiii my name is felix, im a jirai kei trans puppyboy yume ☆ you can find me on #jiraidon and #yumedon I also follow back! I love my mutuals (๑¯ω¯๑) 💫 sometimes nsfw, will be tagged
mastodon.social
StoneBear 
@stonebear2@hachyderm.io
Recovering American in the Netherlands. Queer, universalist, antifa, filker, once and future technical journalist, trying to fix the world one tiny bit at a time. Music and cooking are love. Trying my hand at music promotion (Planning a concert in NL? Hit me up). Originally joined Mastodon in November 2022 BN.
hachyderm.io
Random memory:
When the Knoxville (TN) Zoo did their first major remodel circa 1980, they added a big African area, both desert and jungle. And they acquired a pair of camels.
They named them Arthur and Guinevere.
Why English names for African animals?
Because they lived in a Camelot. 🥁
@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social
#dadjoke
Pseudo Nym
@pseudonym@mastodon.online
I'm an older geek dad in the California bay area. Please talk to me about #coffee , #puns , #infosec , #books , #scifi, #ttrpg, or other geeky topics. I like cheesy 80s pop music, Rush, and GloryHammer. No apologies. I've discovered #mastocats hash tag, and #mosstodon and #photography and they've all made this a much more humane place. I like seeing the "slice of life" posts from real people. These kinds of moments are what connects us. Pronouns: he/him #Infosec, #nerd, #dad, older #geek.
mastodon.online
Don't know if #monsterdon has an age limit on movies, but kid and I are watching "Eight Legged Freaks" and I think it would make a fine offering.
Scarlett Johansson is in it, so I had to make the #dadJoke about Black Widow.
Avery
@toaster@fluff.avery.lgbt
Does the tooting in 🇬🇧 English and 🇩🇪 German. Ruhrgebiet-based nerd building, breaking, and fixing: 🖥️ Servers 💾 Storage 🔥 Homelab chaos Occasionally flies across Europe to convince enterprise hardware to cooperate. Other fun things to know: 🎧 Loud music enjoyer: EDM, rock, metal ☕ Caffeine-dependent 💬 Friendly and happy to chat If something breaks, I’m either fixing it… or saying: “that’s weird, it worked in the lab.”
fluff.avery.lgbt
My Dad is Dracula (and Ordering a Pizza) 🍕 #webcomicartist #vamps #funnycomic #dadjoke #wholesomememes
Mark Shane Hayden
@msh@coales.co
Proprietor of coales.co, Python wrangler, tech tinkerer, advocate for a truly free and open society. Lives in Moh’kinsstis (Calgary) 🇨🇦. NOTE: I have locked follows on my account to prevent bad actors from taking advantage. Feel free to request a follow. If your bio is filled out and the instance you are on is reputable I will gladly approve your request! Header photo from https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Bow_river.jpg CC-BY-SA
coales.co
Replying to
@msh@coales.co
#DadJoke levels reaching critical! #Monsterdon
FunHouse Radio
@funhouseradio@mastodon.world
Weird News, Memes, Novelty Records, Parodies, Weird Covers, Outsider Music, Oddities, Offbeat, Mashups, Comedy, Humor, Satire, Fringe & Cringe ► https://FunHouseRadio.com <- TUNE IN The WORST Channel in The Solar System
mastodon.world
Michael Blume
@BlumeEvolution@sueden.social
Bin umgezogen auf @BlumeEvolution - ab jetzt gibt es dort das morgendliche Tässle Kaffee ☕.
sueden.social
Replying to
on fnordon.de
@Kuchenschwarte@fnordon.de
Ja, deswegen mache ich sie inzwischen auch selbst! 🤭
"Wer Blume heißt, darf Regen nicht fürchten!"
#Blume #Regen #Dadjoke
Eggs now in different baskets.
@the_wub@mastodon.social
Well, I am here and have been for a while. On Mastodon albeit on a different instance. I have been known to practice the use of dry humour and irony. Making sharp contrasts and pointing out uncomfortable similarities can appear in my discussions with others. Pro-European, left of centre in a society that is still intrinsically opposed to both. debian Linux based digital life. No license, implied or explicit, is granted to use any of my posts for training AI models.
mastodon.social
Replying to
@gedeonm@mastodon.social
@gedeonm@mastodon.social Ow.
You forgot the #dadjoke tag.
FunHouse Radio
@funhouseradio@mastodon.world
Weird News, Memes, Novelty Records, Parodies, Weird Covers, Outsider Music, Oddities, Offbeat, Mashups, Comedy, Humor, Satire, Fringe & Cringe ► https://FunHouseRadio.com <- TUNE IN The WORST Channel in The Solar System
mastodon.world