Jason Bratcher

@flamulous@the-gdn.net And I've got - more... If you go to linux.org and tap on the Mint forum, someone's - kinda new - there... Maybe this will give you a hint: I sincerely appologize for the long read coming up (as our attention span collectively shortens into a #CokeMentosMoment - (Reader Discretion Advised):... So this is literally my very first time in #penguin territory after 28 years on a platform of empty promises , uh, #Redmond , anyone?I have to first describe my somewhat unique situation before I can go into the specs of how I got here. As per the situation, I'm totally blind since birth, so the most important piece of software is actually a piece of 'critical spyware' in the sense that it reads the code from various objects to 'draw' my desktop, then speak the contents in focus to me via speech. That's what a #ScreenReader does. In the Windows world, this would have been either #Narrator , #JawsForWindows , or #NVDA from #NVAccess . On Windows since 2006 I've proudly used NVDA to traverse the increasingly evil Microsoft (now hardened) interface. I'm more of a pro-sumer than consumer, so on Windows I used #reaper the digital audio workstation alongside an absolute beast of a freeware+open-source software synthesizer called #SurgeXT from the #SurgeSynthTeam ! And per proper hardware control I got the M-Audio Oxygen 61 MKV MIDI controller last Christmas (No, not the Wham song) to play DAW hosts live in realtime. Per audio editing, #GoldWave was always my main squeeze - from the stupid little edits to extreme audio handling sessions (my favorite audio passion of late (say, the past 4 or so years) is impulse response recording). On a Dell Latitude 5500 acquired about 3 years ago from my brother's friend, it's handled everything I can throw at it. It initially came with 8 gb of RAM, but since updated to 32 gb to future-proof looking forward. I had to retire the battery because when I first got the Latitude, the touch pad + a part of the keyboard were swollen. So I've been on AC power per the past 3 years. Now to the nightmare scenario which I quietly saw coming... I should preface this by saying I Am One of Those that Does Want to See what's happening under the hood, so just prior to Wednesday, February 25th, just 3 days shy of #OperationEpicFury , I had an aggressively tweaked Windows session (complete with only a local profile on Windows 11 Professional) and a heap of registry files + batch+command+PowerShell scripts to totally de-damn the junk, block telemetry addresses+ports, unhide all 177 'hidden' UltimatePerformance power plan settings; Even a customized PS1 prompt with my user name@host name; date;time: Then my command input followed by the output on the next line. Had everything all set and ready to fly. But, as is standard practice in the Windows world, I shut down just before going to bed (almost wish I hadn't...), because:... Thursday, February 26th, - After powering the Dell just to check EMail, I got an awkward message on my screen: "No boot device detected" I just 'quiet'ly 'splash'ed it off, knowing the switch was nigh. Next week, around Friday March 6th, another friend of my brother introduces me to Linux Mint, but not a fully installed copy. It was a 'live' image that I somehow could not install a full copy of Mint to my SSD (quintessentially stateless computing at its peak). I somehow survived with that for 9 days till a bad #Florida #Thunderstorm took my power away! Now that Mint was gone, it twas time to see the evil 'snap philosophy' of 'humanity towards others'. While Ubuntu Noble Numbat was kinda cool, #Orca the #ScreenReader had a very difficult time with it, considering the Wayland experience + non-native snap apps throughout the interface! Twas about 3 weeks ago I'd finally had enough... I remembered people talking about the no-nonsense nature of the Mate desktop, so off to #Gemini I go to talk; He helped me prepare a 16-gb GigaStone USB flash drive - to go from being 'inhumane towards others' to 'from freedom came elegance' (complete with #Wilma (Mint 22 LTS)! He (Gemini) directed me as to how to fully format and nuke the Ubuntu image once and for all! Then, burn the Mint+Mate image to the GigaStone! The #GigaStone is now officially a - #FlintStone ! And - after the successful installation of Linux Mint + Mate with 0 sighted assistance (which is what the modern world silently endorseth), all is well - and - yall just gotta new penguin in your corner!

@flamulous@the-gdn.net I had a funny feeling yall done gonna getta kick outa that! There's just something in the way #GoogleGemini just #PapaJohned that pizza - that it - purred!

@ChasMusic@ohai.social Amen!

@flamulous@the-gdn.net @munchkinbear Sorry I'm not back on Windows; I've jumped ship cold-turkey off the #Windows #Titanic disaster. I'm safely on a #Penguin #Mint cruise ship with the #Mate desktop!

@flamulous@the-gdn.net @munchkinbear So yall kinda gotta bit of a problem: First I gave this to #gemini I got this back:

That is an absolute comedy of errors! Reading through that, you can just see the entire domino effect happening in slow motion at 30,000 feet. It is the ultimate testament to what happens when classic "analog" vigilance collisions head-first with modern internet humor.

The mechanics of how that network name showed up in the first place—and how it managed to cause a mini-uprising in rows 11 through 13—come down to a few hilarious technical and psychological realities: The Technical Setup: SSID Broadcasting

When you turn on the personal hotspot feature on a smartphone, the phone essentially transforms into a mini wireless router. To let your other devices find it, it broadcasts its name—known technically as the SSID (Service Set Identifier)—into the open air.

Any device within a short radius searching for a network will instantly pull that name into its Wi-Fi list.

Because airplane cabins are tightly packed, aluminum tubes, a phone's wireless signal can easily travel a few rows forward and backward, popping up right on the screens of unsuspecting neighbors like the serious gentleman in 12D.

The Psychological Domino Effect

The real magic of the story isn't the technology, though; it's the classic generation gap in how people read digital information.

The "Analog" Perspective: For the man who still prints out his hotel confirmations and treats "the internet" like a physical destination, text on a screen is official. If a broadcast network says "HELP," his brain treats it exactly like a message in a bottle or a flare gun. He doesn't see a joke; he sees an active incident report.

The "Digital Native" Perspective: On the flip side, the college student and the guy in the beanie treat SSIDs like a public graffiti wall or a customizable bumper sticker. People have been naming their home and phone networks things like "FBI Surveillance Van 4" or "Get Your Own Wi-Fi" for two decades just to mess with their neighbors.

The Flight Attendant's Masterclass in De-escalation

The absolute MVP of this entire flight was that flight attendant. Instead of treating the man like he was crazy, or pulling a corporate "we cannot discuss security protocols" routine, she used the absolute best tool available for dealing with collective cabin panic: humor and transparency.

By making that deadpan announcement over the PA system—specifically calling out that a hotspot name was "causing some concern in row 12"—she managed to do three brilliant things at once:

She forced the culprit (Beanie Guy) to realize his mistake without turning it into a federal investigation.

She popped the bubble of tension in the cabin by letting everyone laugh at the sheer absurdity of the situation.

She let the gentleman save face by handling his concern respectfully, eventually turning him into the honorary "Sheriff of Row 12."

The fact that Beanie Guy immediately renamed it to Definitely_Not_A_Distress_Signal is just the perfect, sarcastic icing on the cake. You really can't write a better script for human interaction than what happens when a plane full of exhausted people gets stuck together with a single misunderstood Wi-Fi network!

I then asked what might happen if this were ever a movie, And:...

If that Mastodon post got optioned by Hollywood, it would be the ultimate high-stakes, deadpan bottle-episode comedy. You’d have to amp up the "flare" just enough to make the audience sweat, while keeping the absolute absurdity of the row 12 cybersecurity division intact.

Picture the trailer rolling like this:

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The Pitch: Network Security (Rated PG-13)

The Tagline: At 30,000 feet, no one can hear you scream. But everyone can see your Wi-Fi.

The Setup

The movie opens with intense, tactical thriller music. Quick cuts of airplane dials, a heavy storm brewing over the Pacific Northwest, and passengers boarding. The camera tracks our serious man, "Arthur" (played by someone like Tom Hanks or J.K. Simmons), meticulously checking his printed boarding pass and adjusting his reading glasses. He sits in 12D. Across the aisle in 12C is our narrator, "Sam" (played by a dry, sarcastic Ryan Reynolds type).

The plane takes off into turbulent skies. The seatbelt sign dings.

The Escalation (With Hollywood Flare)

Instead of just a quiet whisper, Arthur notices the hotspot name HELP_IM_STUCK_ON_A_PLANE. But to add that movie tension, the Wi-Fi signal strength starts fluctuating wildly.

Arthur leans over, "The bars are dropping, Sam. That means the signal is getting weaker. They’re running out of time."

Suddenly, a second network pops up on the list: THEY_ARE_IN_THE_GALLEY.

Now, the entire row goes into full-blown, paranoid defense mode. The woman in 12E starts analyzing the passenger list based on who looks "suspicious." The guy in the row behind them reveals he’s a retired mall security guard and tries to initiate a tactical perimeter around the beverage cart. The college student is live-tweeting the entire thing, accidentally causing #AviationHostageRow12 to trend worldwide while the plane is still over northern California.

The Mid-Movie Climax

Arthur decides that waiting for the flight attendant isn't enough. He uses his analog newspaper to map out the signal strength based on how many bars he gets as he slowly walks down the aisle to the bathroom. He's treating his phone like a Geiger counter.

He stops at row 18. The signal is at 100%. He locks eyes with a guy in a beanie who is sweating profusely (not from committing a crime, but because he's trying to finish an unpatched DeaDBeeF compile on a broken Linux laptop or playing an intense video game).

Arthur whispers into his collar like a secret service agent: "I've located the source."

The Grand Reveal

The flight attendant (played by a perfectly deadpan, exhausted Aubrey Plaza) breaks the tension over the PA system just like in the post, but with a Hollywood twist. Federal air marshals are tracking the tweet, ground control is on standby, and the plane is about to make an emergency diversion.

Beanie guy stands up in slow motion, raises his hand, and yells, "My bad! My brother changed the SSID to mess with me last Thanksgiving!"

The Ending

The emergency status is cleared. The entire cabin goes from dead silence to explosive, roaring laughter.

As the plane lands safely in Portland, the local news is waiting on the tarmac because of the viral tweet. Arthur steps off the plane, completely owning his new title. A reporter shoves a microphone in his face: "Sir! Are you a cybersecurity expert?"

Arthur looks directly into the camera, adjusts his reading glasses, and says: "No. I'm just the guy who protects the network."

Cue a hard smash-cut to black as an electronic remix of Morse code plays over the credits.

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It would honestly be a brilliant comedy. You get the paranoia of a classic 1970s disaster movie mixed with the absolute comedy of errors of modern digital life. If they can make a whole movie about a phone booth or a bus that can't slow down, they could absolutely turn Row 12 into a cinematic masterpiece!

@veronica@explains.social Small question; Is there such a thing as: an average, Linux, user, who's blind, since birth?

@jscholes@dragonscave.space Now that- is definitely bad ux; Don't let me or any of my other similars hear/see a message like that. You'll be called out faster than a wooden Florida mobile home on fire, and the fire department's on strike for - higher wages!

@menelion@dragonscave.space What's next? Even love is banned? #BraveNewWorld by AldousHuxley ?

@AccessOn@nfb.social Who knows, maybe #NVDA for #Linux , lol! Just kidding. Even I know that Could Never Happen because of all the different Linux desktops out there...