Post #975240 · Elektrine

@phil_stevens@mastodon.nz 2026-04-06 23:09

@chartier@toot.cafe JUDGE: "How does the defendant plead?" PUBLIC DEFENDER: "They were indeed scurvy dogs, the landlubbers! The decks in the galley were sore in need o' swabbin" JUDGE: "Prosecution, is that so?" DISTRICT ATTORNEY: "We cannot deny the state of the food court, your honour." JUDGE: "Charges dismissed."

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@galacticstone@mastodon.social 2026-04-06 23:15

@chartier@toot.cafe During the early pandemic and lockdowns, there was a Florida Man satire account here on Mastodon that posted regularly and was funny. It vanished after a year or so and I hadn't thought about it again until now.

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@SpaceLifeForm@infosec.exchange 2026-04-06 23:15

@chartier@toot.cafe Must not have been promoting the big box stores. Is she related to Stewart Rhodes?

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@HamonWry@mastodon.world 2026-04-06 23:16

@chartier@toot.cafe I can relate ARRRRRRRRRGH

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@codebyjeff@hachyderm.io 2026-04-06 23:27

@chartier@toot.cafe what sort of charges? is that illegal?

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@linuxfiend@vmst.io 2026-04-06 23:58

@chartier@toot.cafe How is any of that illegal? It just seems like a good time.

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@griotspeak@soc.mod-12.com 2026-04-07 00:07

@chartier@toot.cafe What are the charges? “Going too hard?”

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@elfin@mstdn.social 2026-04-07 00:39

@chartier@toot.cafe You Go Girl!!!

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@5ciFiGirl@starbase80.wtf 2026-04-07 00:53

@chartier@toot.cafe Lol, i have to start collecting these "florida woman" memes! 😂

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@samiamsam@mastodon.social 2026-04-07 01:13

@chartier@toot.cafe ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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@DeanFarrell@mstdn.plus 2026-04-07 01:23

@chartier@toot.cafe Moshe Dayan's granddaughter?

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@numodular@c.im 2026-04-07 01:23

@chartier@toot.cafe The fall, before the fall... -Florida style

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@Luna@mastodon.world 2026-04-07 01:45

@chartier@toot.cafe Very on character for Florida woman.

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@flipper@mastodonapp.uk 2026-04-07 01:45

@chartier@toot.cafe are they going to make her walk the plank?

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@freediverx@mastodon.social 2026-04-07 01:45

@chartier@toot.cafe Extra points if the patch isn't a prop.

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@octothorpe@mastodon.online 2026-04-07 01:51

@chartier@toot.cafe @drahardja@sfba.social Whomst among us…

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@mirq@tsogol.tsiran.org 2026-04-07 01:57

@chartier@toot.cafe free my girl nobeard

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@softicecreamlesley@famichiki.jp 2026-04-07 01:59

@chartier@toot.cafe There are plenty of funny Florida woman stories that are actually real. I don’t understand why anyone falls for these obvious fake “news” stories.

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@lauerhahn@sfba.social 2026-04-07 02:11

@chartier@toot.cafe As a former Floridian, I call BS. A REAL Florida woman would not have pulled this stunt in a piddly little mall fountain. No, she'd launch in a canal with an army of Muscovy ducks at her back. Alligators be damned.

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@Rick_d_card@mastodon.social 2026-04-07 02:27

@chartier@toot.cafe She should have hung them from the highest yardarm the scurvy dogs!

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@viraptor@cyberplace.social 2026-04-07 02:46

@chartier@toot.cafe Ok, those are all cool things, but the title could mention what was she charged for?

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@grumpydad@infosec.exchange 2026-04-07 04:28

@chartier@toot.cafe What charges? Kayaking in public?

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@tomhead@mastodon.social 2026-04-07 04:30

@chartier@toot.cafe Pirates of the Galleria