@Jedigirl@mindly.social There's two kinds of people in this world: "I had to go through this so others should as well." and "I had to go through this so I'll do what I can to avoid having others go through it as well."

@freemo@qoto.org @Jedigirl@mindly.social maybe a kind of Stockholm Syndrome

@Jedigirl@mindly.social there are literally laws against what we went through, and I'm glad my children have the benefit of those laws.

@Jedigirl@mindly.social The strap was still a thing in schools in the 1970s. I had it several times, once so bad my hands were bruised black. I could hardly hold a pencil. I wouldn't dare say anything at home about getting in trouble at school. As an adult, I took counselling a few times to deal with anger issues, and learned how to discipline my kids without violence. I'm not better for having gone through what I did.

@Jedigirl@mindly.social I've known people like that...I'm not friends with them anymore.

@Jedigirl@mindly.social I don't think those people want others to turn out to be like them. I think they resent that they had to do things in a very hard way and now others do not.

@Jedigirl@mindly.social word

@Jedigirl@mindly.social And anecdotally, most of the people who say this didn't actually "suffer" as much as they think they did.

fact talk

@Jedigirl@mindly.social "Even though you think you turned out fine, you might not be aware you are damaged and are damaging others in similar ways."

@Jedigirl@mindly.social if you actually suffered trough something pretty shit you wouldn't anyone else go trough the same

@Jedigirl@mindly.social Similarly, if something you read made you feel old and you want to share it with other people, you are a bad person.

@freemo@qoto.org @Jedigirl@mindly.social along that line, at the extreme end of things, there’s the utopia rat experiment where rats had everything handed to them and in fact dis not turn out fine. As a society, we do need to aim toward fairness and better treatment of each other But a bit of natural difficulty is also important. A pro-suffering guy might be thinking he turned out fine and that rat study proves it. But i think there’s much more to it.

@Jedigirl@mindly.social lol what kind of suffering we talking here, like camping outdoors suffering or getting beaten suffering

@Jedigirl@mindly.social I see this from people that immigrate to the US all the time. They had to spend a ton of time and money to get their US citizenship and get upset at the idea that someone wouldn't have to go through that somehow insulting to them. I moved from Canada and was, at first, expecting to go through the same hoops, but because my mom was from Ohio, I was able to prove and declare my US citizenship. The fact is, no one should have had to go through it, and we need to fix the immigration system now. Note: I'm not trying to single out the US, most countries have trash immigration systems.

#ALT4you A tweet by a user @‌daniel_swensen or Daniel Shipwreck: If you suffered in life and want other people to suffer as you did because "you turned out fine," you did not in fact turn out fine. Source: farside.link/nitter/mxdshipwre… web.archive.org/web/1/twitter.…