Post #2191982
2025-06-20 20:33 UTC
Replies (28)
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@amberage@eldritch.cafe 2025-06-20 20:47
@taedryn@anarres.family yeah I think you're dead on – "I have an average sex life" hardly makes for interesting conversation
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@little_foxtoy@bark.lgbt 2025-06-20 20:53
@taedryn@anarres.family do you count demi under the ace umbrella in this case? otherwise i feel like demisexuality is also kinda prevalent among trans femmes. (or at least when i look at my dating history)
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@yazalewd@gts.kviro.ynh.fr 2025-06-20 21:15
@taedryn@anarres.family it’s a bit more complicated than that for me It’s not sex that is important, it’s kink. It’s a need, a craving, and a specific interest. I could easily do without sex if I am in a BDSM relashionship, but I couldn’t easily do without without kink & BDSM.
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@reference_material@tech.lgbt 2025-06-20 22:29
@taedryn@anarres.family I was definitely more into sex up until I had vaginoplasty. Then I basically stopped for 5 years. I had it a few times with my partner, but due to discomfort or lack of familiarity with my body it was always disappointing. Masturbation was hit or miss, and I just basically dropped it as a priority. It's possible that some of this was related to alcohol use, but having stopped drinking for the past 6 months, it's still hit or miss. I seem to have more interest in it now though.
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@agturcz@circumstances.run 2025-06-20 22:35
@taedryn@anarres.family > I was wondering why this might be I'm oversimplifying it, but ask them what is their childhood trauma.
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@millie@gts.social.violetmillie.me 2025-06-20 22:43
@taedryn@anarres.family This one's options are interesting Recently a friend made a poll about what would be considered sex, and the results were... confusing to my brain coming from someone who's never had any sexual encouter with someone else, I still find it an important aspect, I'd say that I'm on the hyper spectrum, but "only sometimes", as in, sometimes I go all in, other times I think about it and do nothing, or it just runs in a parallel unconscious never intersecting my conscious i don't know how to simply answer the poll with the options, i overthink, so i thought to share my thoughts
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@Natsura@catgirl.center 2025-06-20 22:49
@taedryn@anarres.family i am unable to cum, but that said i do enjoy grinding my partners whenever i get an opportunity to see one of them so it is important but not too important to me
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@eclairwolf@tech.lgbt 2025-06-21 01:27
@taedryn@anarres.family from the results, it seems like it's more of a forward-weighted bell curve — i think it's possible that this is a result of folks who have stronger feelings about sex talking more about it
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@Exandra@chaosfem.tw 2025-06-21 02:23
@taedryn@anarres.family how do I pick "sex is something I dislike" AND "sex is hugely important to me" at the same time? I seem to be a variant of ace where instead of there being a peaceful unoccupied room where sexuality might sit, there's a smouldering trash heap of resentment and disappointment. I leave that room door closed. I don't want to say incel or femcel because I developed this stance long before those were a thing and I have taken care not to think too closely about them.
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@cwg1231@defcon.social 2025-06-21 04:53
@taedryn@anarres.family I’m not trans but curious about the outcome. I wish there was a way to get poll completion notifications without voting.
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@veviser@mastodon.social 2025-06-21 08:30
@taedryn@anarres.family Low prio. Late-hatching, probably demi, just began hrt (so no libido), don't even know my preference (what's attraction?) and far away from allowing myself to be vulnerable let alone out in that way. This is in contrast to that other post positing many baby trans are more sexual because they're more open. Not saying they're wrong, just saying other factors exist beyond "point in transition". Very individual.
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@follpvosten@karp.lol 2025-06-21 08:31
@taedryn@anarres.family it's complicated. I voted normal part of my life, which reflects the way I was about a year ago. right now I probably need to work through some shit before I can actively enjoy it again.
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@ctrl@alico.nexus 2025-06-21 08:38
@taedryn@anarres.family it depends, it's very fluid can go from "horny sex monster" to "whatever i don't care" in a span of a week so yeah ig the average would be "normal" but eh, doesnt seem that accurate
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@maxine@lgbtqia.space 2025-06-21 09:08
@taedryn@anarres.family this one voted "unimportant", in the middle between "low-priority for me" and "something I dislike". I guess it's complicated for us – we're plural, demi-sexual, ace-fluid, and sometimes horny (often, regretfully :neobread_woozy:). non-sexual dates can be great (even if non-sexual kinks are invovled), and we only engage in sexual acts with partners that know us really well – we need a lot of mutual trust to enjoy sexuality, and not regret it days after :neobread_flag_ace: we all know the linear scale is broken, but just want to mention that sex is not "unimportant" for us tho by any means! It often is quite important, sometimes as a thing studied from a safe distance, sometimes as something we want to make first-hand experience.
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@elexia@catcatnya.com 2025-06-21 11:22
@taedryn@anarres.family I like sex. it's not a hugely important thing though. it's just a thing that I want to do sometimes.
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@SymTrkl@anarres.family 2025-06-21 15:20
@taedryn@anarres.family I am somehow hypersexual and ace. :neobot_laugh_sweat: Like, I like writing about sex. I like being lewd and horny. The actual, physical, act of sex though? That's where sex is just another thing I do.
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@raeve@transfem.social 2025-06-21 20:20
@taedryn@anarres.family Out of seven of us, one is demi and one is ace. This question gets hard to answer, because it's safe to say at least two others are hypersexual.
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@lineplus@eldritch.cafe 2025-06-21 20:35
@taedryn@anarres.family Asexual spectrum with my closest friend hypersexual, but most importantly both autistic
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@dispencer@catboy.baby 2025-06-21 20:43
@taedryn@anarres.family although sex is a big part of my life, i think my partners and i wouldn't change our relationships if we stopped interest in sex. it's just a fun group activity to us, easy to pick yes, but not that important. we could replace sex with street racing or pillow fights, and not much would change.
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@TheSunnyOne@eldritch.cafe 2025-06-21 20:44
@taedryn@anarres.family Anya is aceflux. Sometimes sex is very important, sometimes sex is very unimportant. Sometimes is hypersexual, sometimes is more interested in LEGOs.
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@Nekona@transfem.social 2025-06-21 21:16
@taedryn@anarres.family I honestly don't know, I'm ultra needy (everything relationship related from just people to sexuality) because I'm extremely isolated due to trauma, disability,... so I honestly don't know how I feel most of my experience where on shaky grounds that makes me feel terrible about them but maybe it's just the conditions ? like it's often on my mind like some kind of starvation, but between all the problems that stops me from experiencing it in good condition in the first place and like general dysphoria, it's always a bitter experience to yearn about
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@Yuvalne@433.world 2025-06-21 23:02
@taedryn@anarres.family honestly love that prefect bell curve
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@KittenFlare@transfem.social 2025-06-22 01:17
@taedryn@anarres.family I struggle with this because I want to be hypersexual (or at least more sexual) but I don't really feel motivated to be sexual. Like Wow, that person really loves sex and seems to get a lot of fun and excitement out of it. I want some of what she's having. But I don't feel a strong urge to do what she's doing.
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@natalie@my.softerhearts.club 2025-06-22 01:42
@taedryn@anarres.family It's really more an "in-theory" thing for me. My partner is ace, I'm some kind of demo-aego-ace spec bean. Idrk, "i just think sex is neat"
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@_r@donotsta.re 2025-06-22 09:13
@taedryn@anarres.family problem: I feel conflicted about sex. what do I vote for when I feel that sex is important, but also I would prefer that it wasn’t and that I would rather not want to have sex again - but I do want to have sex because well, libido :neofox_melt_3: I’d say it’s both important to me in the sense that I think about it more than I probably should, but also I dislike it
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@foxgrrrl@meow.catgirl.dog 2025-06-22 09:20
@taedryn@anarres.family i am between normal and low priority, but all of that has changed a lot since hrt. before hrt I was way more sexual
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@VioB@eldritch.cafe 2025-06-23 20:44
@taedryn@anarres.family That's pretty balanced, actually..
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@40796c19@void.lgbt 2025-06-23 21:04
@taedryn@anarres.family lmao, bell curve