Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love #Taskmaster, #OnePunchMan, and #Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) #humor #humour #comedy #jokes #dadjokes #puns #writing #improv #standup #fedi22
beige.party
Charles had already taken 20 minutes to make Rita’s footlong Black Forest Ham sandwich, but he didn’t care. This was what being an artisan was all about. Not only did he create what looked to be an actual black forest out of burnt whole wheat, but he created small pickle people in the forest, contemplating their existence in a world of ash.
“I just want to eat,” pleaded Rita.
“Oh, you’ll eat,” said Charles. “You’ll feast on disillusionment and ennui.” Charles’ eyes lit up with anticipation.
“Is that a kind of mayo? I said no mayo.” Rita was starting to think she should have gone to Jersey Mike’s instead.
In the end, Charles served up a dish that looked like a Tim Burton nightmare. There was a beauty to the bizarre desolation, but it was not easy to put it in your mouth.
“Pass,” said Rita, who paid for three bags of chips and hurried back to work.
Charles, heartbroken that his creation was abandoned, started to wonder, Had his years at Subway University been for naught? Was he the Titan Turkey? He realized his emptiness was reflected in his own creation, and was just as hard to swallow.
That day was the last time Charles would wield a mustard spreader.
#artisan
#MicroFiction #SmallStories
#MastoPrompt
