The subject of this doco sounds like the stereotype of an autistic man. Socially clueless, hyper sensitive to rejection, having zero empathy, & needing to control people & environments around him in order to be safe.
As an autistic person I can resonate (ie feel empathy) with most of this - except the no empathy bit. I know about being socially clueless. And how hyper sensitivity, to sensory input & to rejection, can make us feel that controlling our environments & resisting change is the only way to feel safe.
My neurodivergent peers understand this.
Among the autistic folx I know, most have heaps of empathy, & resonate intensely with the feelings of others. We meet - online or in person, as friends or as strangers - to communicate intensely with each other, listening deeply & offering recognition & care.
Most - not all - of my friends were raised as women.
Is there something here about how boys are raised? Boys are encouraged to feel they are entitled to shape the world & people around them to accommodate their needs, in ways women - except perhaps the most wealthy & privileged - are not. We see dominating behaviours valorised as ‘alpha’ & those who perform them accorded far more respect than they deserve.
Imagine if we all learned, as children, that we are not separate from each other - or from other living beings - & that one person’s suffering affects us all. Imagine if practices of care & compassion were valued more highly than those of domination. Imagine if our role models behaved in ways that respect all life.
I don’t believe autistic people have no empathy. I think we are misfits who feel unsafe. We struggle to make sense of the world around us, do our best to figure out what the rules are, then try to follow them in order to escape being targeted as ‘other’.
For too many boys and men, the rules they infer are toxic.
People are not our enemy.
#ActuallyAutistic #neurodiversity #RSD #CoerciveControl #Incel #misogyny
https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2026/mar/18/inside-the-incels-who-rent-girlfriends-zandland-ben-zand-interview?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other
quackademic
@26pglt@mastodon.au
Small furry creature, lives in the garden. Always curious. she/they/dr Naarm, Wurundjeri land #AutisticElder #sociologist The map is not the territory. Where we look from & our #ToolsToThinkWith determine what we see. We can choose kindness. ⭐️ = I hear you. Avatar: Winged rabbit wearing blue trousers from an Ivy Wallace book. Banner: Japanese bronze Buddha wearing a green crochet beret w a lorikeet feather in it. On each side a vase of nasturtiums w orange flowers reaching across to touch.
mastodon.au
quackademic
@26pglt@mastodon.au
Small furry creature, lives in the garden. Always curious. she/they/dr Naarm, Wurundjeri land #AutisticElder #sociologist The map is not the territory. Where we look from & our #ToolsToThinkWith determine what we see. We can choose kindness. ⭐️ = I hear you. Avatar: Winged rabbit wearing blue trousers from an Ivy Wallace book. Banner: Japanese bronze Buddha wearing a green crochet beret w a lorikeet feather in it. On each side a vase of nasturtiums w orange flowers reaching across to touch.
mastodon.au
@26pglt@mastodon.au
·
Mar 19, 2026
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