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Pastor of Muppets

@middleclasstool@phire.place
hometown 4.5.14+hometown-1.2.1
  • Open on phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

643 Followers
376 Following
39 Posts
Joined January 14, 2023
Website:
http://middleclass.tools/contact
Pronouns:
He/They/Y'all
Faith:
Buddhist, but not in an "I'm training for a marathon" way

Posts

Open post
middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Jul 03, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place
Me : WHEW Wife: How was your walk? Me: Sticky! Brain: you mean... Me: Wait, let's talk about this Brain: IT'S STICKY TO WALK AROUND TO WALK AROUND THAT'S RIGHT ON TIME IT'S STICKAAAAAY Me: goddamn it Brain: STICKY STICKY STICKY STICKY
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middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Jul 02, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place
Exciting news, everyone
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middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Jun 07, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place

If Ellen Burstyn had married Red Buttons, would her name be Ellen Burstyn-Buttons?

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middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Jun 06, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place

Back home from vacation a day early. Dad had a stroke. He's fine, partially paralyzed but stable and back at the nursing home. Brother came down to be with us. I'm kind of hoping for a quick and easy exit now, but we're taking it a day at a time.

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middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Jun 05, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place

We are behind a semi that is camped out in the passing lane. One of his rear trailer doors is labeled "DO NOT PASS ON THE RIGHT" my dude I know of a solid strategy to ensure that

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Open post
middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Jun 05, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place

Vox last month: "AI datacenters are GOOD for rural communities, actually"

Me: wtf is happening here

News two days later: One of the Murdochs has purchased Vox

Me: ah yes the universe makes sense again

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Open post
middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Jun 05, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place

Conversation at dinner tonight:

References to His Dark Materials ➡️ I wish I had an armored bear ➡️ we should get armor for Pete ➡️ I wonder how expensive that would be ➡️ maybe instead we make a saddle for him and get a monkey ➡️ wait, instead of a monkey, how about our grandnephew?

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Open post
middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Jun 04, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place

Arkansas Public Television is saved, thanks to a huge grassroots fundraising effort and a whole lot of public screaming. It isn't getting turned into some MAGAtainment cultural vacuum, thank god.

The lesson here, I think, is when they go low, we pick up whatever useful piece of building material is at hand, and we swing it as hard as we can. Then we get to work.

https://arktimes.com/arkansas-blog/2026/06/04/grassroots-statewide-effort-saves-arkansas-pbs-for-now

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middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Jun 04, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place

Just saw two white dudes with the same tattoo and realized that, whenever I see that, even if I don't know what the symbol is for, my immediate thought is "well, that can't be good."

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Open post
middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Jun 04, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place
Replying to @abetterjulie@wandering.shop
@abetterjulie@wandering.shop I seriously need to read that. Everyone says it's wonderful.
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Open post
middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · May 26, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place

I saw a reference to Deep Purple three hours ago and have had In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida stuck in my head ever since. And, yes, I know that was Iron Butterfly and not Deep Purple. My brain doesn't seem to care.

Dow! Dow! Dowdowdowdow! Dow! Dow! Dow!

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Open post
middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · May 25, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place

in which Lucy Darling comes to terms with regional cuisine https://youtube.com/shorts/VgOToFl6m38

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Open post
middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · May 25, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place

RE: @best_of_mltshp@mefi.social

would

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Open post
middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · May 25, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place
Replying to @coriolisdave@phire.place
@coriolisdave@phire.place it is the language of Mordor. Which I will not utter here.
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Open post
middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · May 25, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place

My favorite thing about writing the word "y'all's" is that it has two apostrophes and that makes me feel fancy, like I'm French or something

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Open post
middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · May 25, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place
Replying to @middleclasstool@phire.place
Italo Calvino was throwing shade at the AI people 47 years ago.
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Open post
middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · May 25, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place

Reading Calvino today and just came to this sentence:

"The house, in its wisdom, seems to have taken advantage of your moments of euphoria to prepare itself to shelter you in your moments of depression."

Reader, I just got owned from Italy circa 1979.

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Open post
middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · May 12, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place

the plural of Windex is Windices

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Open post
middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · May 06, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place
Replying to @TheBreadmonkey@beige.party
@TheBreadmonkey what is even hampening
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Open post
middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · May 06, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place
Replying to @Alice@beige.party
@Alice@beige.party because of encounters with locals, my wife and I call prosciutto "proSKEEto" and gnocchi "guhNOOchee"
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Open post
middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · May 05, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place

Nick Offerman is a national treasure and must be protected at all costs. A permanent secret service detail for him, Alan Tudyk, and their loved ones.

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Open post
middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · May 05, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place
Replying to @TheBreadmonkey@beige.party
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party this is useful perspective for me. I am also invested in you not being the worst, because if I was friends with the worst person, well, that's not good for me.
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Open post
middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · May 03, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place
RE: https://mastodon.world/@mattmaison/116502572478766326 I'll play. In no particular order: Station Eleven The Leftovers Avatar: The Last Airbender The Wire Breaking Bad Severance Shrinking The Muppet Show (original run) Carnivale Deadwood Midnight Mass Star Trek TNG Star Trek SNW The Carol Burnette Show Battlestar Galactica (2004)
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middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Apr 24, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place
Replying to @Devils_Rancher@beige.party
@Devils_Rancher you monster!
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Open post
middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Apr 19, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place

I put a new sticker on the Outback

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Open post
middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Apr 16, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place
Replying to @farah@beige.party
@farah BLASPHEMER
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Open post
middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Apr 09, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place
Replying to @Devils_Rancher@beige.party
@Devils_Rancher When the dog alert system spins up, why would you stand in the way
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middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Apr 09, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place
Replying to @Devils_Rancher@beige.party
@Devils_Rancher I feel like she needs me to take a nap with her and then she'd be okay
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middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Apr 08, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place
Replying to @babe@glitterkitten.co.uk
@babe
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Open post
middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Mar 29, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place
Replying to @lackthereof@beige.party
@lackthereof@beige.party I wish I didn't know.
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middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Mar 29, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place
Replying to @middleclasstool@phire.place
And if you're an iOS developer thinking "there's no way Apple would allow this," you're half right. There's no way Apple would allow YOU to do this. But App Store review policies are capricious as hell, and they make exceptions for major players all the time. With current leadership the way it is, they will absolutely allow this horseshit into the App Store.
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middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Mar 29, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place

I doubt anyone who follows me would possibly be wondering if they should download the White House app, but some of your relatives might be. So here's the entirely unsurprising analysis: It's rickety, insecure malware. https://blog.thereallo.dev/blog/decompiling-the-white-house-app

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middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Mar 18, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place
Replying to @futurebird@sauropods.win
@futurebird I want you to know how proud I am of you for doing this. You have made the world a little bit worse, in the best way.
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middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Mar 13, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place
Replying to @beep@follow.ethanmarcotte.com
@beep@follow.ethanmarcotte.com drinking game for "New York City"
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middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Feb 20, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place
Replying to @theraccoonbytes@theforkiverse.com
@theraccoonbytes@theforkiverse.com SAME
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middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Feb 20, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place

Exercising at 20 was like "I want to have a sexy body for the sexy sexytimes with the sexy people who like sexiness" but now at 50 it's like "I'd like to live the rest of my life without anyone putting the words 'fall risk' in my medical chart"

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middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Feb 17, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place
Replying to @Alice@beige.party
@Alice frustrating that I can't tell Roll Orientation from this
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middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · Jan 22, 2026
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place
Replying to @joshmillard@mastodon.social
@joshmillard@mastodon.social am I counting wrong, or is the one on the right just six?
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middleclasstool
Pastor of Muppets @middleclasstool@phire.place · May 04, 2025
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place

I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...

phire.place

Today is Mugsy's ninth birthday. He is old and cranky and likes to scream at everything that walks past our house. And I love him. He is eating his birthday cookie, which I had to bust up with a rolling pin for him, as I write this.

Happy birthday, Booger Shoes. You're a good boy. #mastodogs #dogsofmastodon

Edit: forgot alt text, sorry

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