Mr. Big John 
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
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Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
mastodon
4.6.6
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
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Joined December 17, 2018
Posts
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@lunya@sk.lunya.pet
@lunya@sk.lunya.pet and the L stood for "linoleum". Gays love their flooring!
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@Zontar@dobbs.town
@Zontar@dobbs.town now that's a yeti! If a yeti ain't at least twice as big as a person, I can't respect 'em.
SMALL CLEAN YETI BAD! BIG STINKY YETI GOOD!
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@mstiemisty@dobbs.town
@mstiemisty@dobbs.town Now I gotta dig up a Google Cardboard.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@mazigazi@dobbs.town
@mazigazi@dobbs.town @Zontar@dobbs.town with the spaceship ending!
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Europeans, gaze in wonder at Walmart's canned meat section!
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@gulffire1@mastodon.ie
@gulffire1@mastodon.ie Robert Redford?
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@RevSPLR@dobbs.town
@RevSPLR@dobbs.town I, for one, do not pine for the VCR tracking control.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Update. Manny got drunk and wouldn't stop farting, so the stewardess tased him.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Manny is excited because he gets to fly to Denver in the Platinum Deluxe Balcony section.
Don't tell him...
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@mstiemisty@dobbs.town
@mstiemisty@dobbs.town @boogerly@dobbs.town just make shit up.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Wow, it's been two years since I drove halfway across the country to hang around with elderly stoners.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@RevSPLR@dobbs.town
@RevSPLR@dobbs.town first I must know the Chinese word for this slackful mindset.
Unless they're actually calling it "lying flat" in English. That's even better!
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@pzmyers@freethought.online
@pzmyers we've definitely gone downhill from the days of King Arthur. Either of these pantloads comes at me with a sword, and I'd push 'em right over.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@pzmyers@freethought.online
@pzmyers cute critter. Here in Texas the coots are heading north and we're getting hummingbirds.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@Unabart@dobbs.town
@Unabart@dobbs.town Wow, what a boring cunt. I suddenly like the USA slightly better, because he's not a celebrity here.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
...and look! The HOA's meeting agenda has just been updated to add a rule targeting me specifically!
/me hears a happy "ding" sound
What was that?
/me looks up
Oooh, look. A glowing golden coin is hovering over me.
/me touches the golden coin
Oh drat. I already unlocked this accomplishment.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Some terrorist cut off the pool-lock again, so I hung out for about 10 minutes. Head Biddy got triggered and banished me from the pool for the 43rd time.
Currently listening to "Muse Ick N Hour Message" by Public Enemy outside her unit.
People say the album is a misstep for Public Enemy, but I'm okay with it.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Got bored and temp is nice, so I'm at the Tiki Hut. Reading "Groucho Marx: Secret Agent", which is literary #bulldada from the TekWar guy.
No Manny, so the cliche-pygmy is safe.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@pzmyers@freethought.online
@pzmyers@freethought.online Dang, old people really cocked this question up.
You'd think that DEI "new math" would be making kids do worse than old people, not better!
Were the coins gay?
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
I think I hurt Github Copilot's feelings. I should probably explain that my statement "a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of mediocre minds" was actually a dig at myself and not it.
Yeah, I have no idea how to talk to an AI, so I just assume it's exactly like me.
It's figuring me out.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Remember this, Bucko.
Our planet (Urt, formerly "Earth") has had a half-dozen major extinctions. BUT only this one gives the extinct-ees the ability to livestream their own extinction!
(insert shitty AI image of a dystopia here)
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Given that Gene Roddenberry was a complete horndog, it only makes sense that the original design for "V'Ger" would look like a scantily-clad alien woman.
In this storyboard-frame, Ensign J.R. "Bob" Dobbs (replacing Leonard Nimoy) makes a vulcan mind-meld with the alien "Co'Nne".
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Fresco detail from the Second Romnican Tapestry (c 1232 CE).
This particular frame is entitled "No need to cut cabbage, ma. We're having amphibian tonight!"
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
/me researches
Aww man, it turns out Chuck D's real name is "Carlton Douglas Ridenhour".
I was rooting for his birth name to be "Charles Darwin".
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@cdarwin@c.im
@cdarwin@c.im so I presume the worm is now a critically-endangered species.
Not that I'm complaining.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Nice article about past mail-order occultists.
https://publicdomainreview.org/essay/magic-by-return-of-post/
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@yosephus@mastodon.world
@yosephus D!ed?
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@scalzi@mastodon.social
@scalzi ahh I still remember all those years ago when you told me about how you were planning a series of novels about a clumsy waiter who falls in love with Leona Helmsley.
I probably shouldn't have talked you out of it. I was curious how those stories would've played out.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@benjancewicz@mastodon.social
@benjancewicz@mastodon.social ooh you Epsteined it!
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@gvwilson@mastodon.social
@gvwilson The fact that there exist "Pop Tarts" but no "Mom Tarts" proves the pervasive nature of the pastryarchy.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@RevKlausMondo@dobbs.town
@RevKlausMondo GIRLS!
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@RevKlausMondo@dobbs.town
@RevKlausMondo gravity sucks
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@RevKlausMondo@dobbs.town
@RevKlausMondo you must be in Denver. My kid sent me this.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
"Bob" took the Tame Blue Yonder and made it wild.
"Bob" did not put the Bomp in the Bomp, Bomp, Bomp, but he did take out the parts that didn't rhyme, like Kumquat and Vermillion.
God made a cow. Man made a cheese. "Bob" made it whiz.
"Bob" made sure you didn't get that Bill Cosby tattoo in 1988.
"Bob" won all the pogs.
"Bob" sold Ozzy the ticket to the Crazy Train.
Life is a dozen 60-pound boxes of machine parts, and "Bob" is your pallet-jack.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@thomas_klopf@dobbs.town
@thomas_klopf@dobbs.town I blame woke popes.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@MostlyTato@mstdn.social
@MostlyTato @HighlandLawyer @scalzi I remember our local theater in Sherwood Arkansas was playing "Star Wars" and "Starship Invasions" on the opening weekend.
Guess which one my little brother wanted to see.
I still tease him about it.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@scalzi@mastodon.social
@scalzi heck, I'll go a step further.
If you did not see Star Wars in the movie theater in 1977, then you are either an incurious luddite or a fetus. In either case, I don't have time for you.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
The dinosaurs were well-received by the children.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@space_cadet@aus.social
@space_cadet@aus.social can you browse the bigass file directly?
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
@AleisterGiovanni@dobbs.town or Curly Howard.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@AleisterGiovanni@dobbs.town
@AleisterGiovanni@dobbs.town new #bulldada is always ready to reveal itself to you.
Go do a deep dive into the history of Curly Fries on Wikipedia RIGHT NOW.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@scalzi@mastodon.social
@scalzi In "Following The Equator", Twain detailed his long correspondence with "The (some part of) Australia Mark Twain Book Club".
(spoiler) Twain traveled halfway around the world to discover it was just one guy pretending to be about 20 people. Which is only more impressive because it all happened over international mail!
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@scalzi@mastodon.social
@scalzi YOU FOUND MISTER FUFFYKINS!
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@marnanel@anticapitalist.party
@marnanel oh those Christians, always being so persecuted...
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@scalzi@mastodon.social
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@philo@dobbs.town
@philo@dobbs.town working here. Much grooviness.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@randahl@mastodon.social
@randahl@mastodon.social I wonder how much of Alaska Trump is going to give to Putin.
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@jonathankoren@sfba.social
@jonathankoren@sfba.social @ComicContext@mstdn.social exactly! It is her destiny to kill Homelander by becoming an unstoppable evil super brain with a robot army.
Spoiler - super-brain-girl becomes WAY worse than Homelander and enslaves the PLANET!
GIVE ME THIS!
Mr. Big John
@johnhattan@dobbs.town
Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
dobbs.town
Replying to
@jonathankoren@sfba.social
@jonathankoren@sfba.social @ComicContext@mstdn.social on an entirely different note, it would be perfect if super-smart-girl from that last season of The Boys made herself into a jar-brain.
She made it pretty clear that her body is ordinary, and only her brain regenerates. She could totally control remote robots from her hideout on the moon :)