← Feed

Posts

• Post #4263717

  Remember when life is difficult and hard and rough that you are so hot even life got hard for you. Also remember that when life gives you lemons at least you won't get scurvy.

• Post #4263716

  The summer equivalent of rocks in a snowball is scalding water in a squirt gun. Where did I learn this, from a sister that thought if she could not win honorably and righteously she will have to win dishonorably and underhanded. She was not a fan of losing.

• Post #4263715

  I want to give some advice from a family story. My sister was in love with Peter Pan. She decided that if she could think the happiest of thoughts she could fly. She was however aware of the consequences of a failed experiment so she tied a rope through her belt loop. I remember as she jumped from the tree, fell from the tree, the belt loop immediately snapped and she fell unceremonisouly with a thud and a small cloud of dust. For most children this would be the end of it but my sister is the p...

• Post #4263714

  So I feel a little odd about something. I have lived in Colorado, California, Montana, Texas, and New Mexico. If you made a line from Montana to Texas, I have visited every state West of that except for Alaska. So including Hawaii. I've visited Minnesota and Illinois and Landed in New York en route to Scotland. I've visited Europe twice, now I live in Germany. So I have visited, Wales, England, Scotland, France, the Netherlands, Belgium and now I live in Germany. I'm about to vacati...

• Post #4263713

  I have a friend with Aspergers, his choice and not mine, as my exboyfriend described "we autistics can label ourselves and allistics will laugh and ignore it or we can take the names of people that genocided and experimented on us. We lose either way. I won't debate people on the usage of the term" and neither will I. He has the diagnosis. He doesn't care and neither should you. ANYWAYS there was a time he giggled and slipped me a piece of paper like it was a love note. It was...

• Post #4263712

  I just thought of something funny. In German there is the word Fahrt it comes from Fahren which means to drive. Fahrt is a drive. Einfahrt is onramp. Ausfahrt is offramp. A lot of English speakers like to mispronounce this to Fart. But I just saw a rather poetic title of Mistfall. Mist is a bad word in German. It means shit. Fall is used in Umfall, accident; Notfall, emergency. It is a suffix meaning "case". So a Mistfall would not be anything poetic but rather a mad case of the shits....

• Post #4263711

  I'm moderately dismayed upon living outside of the USA. I was born in California and it's a frequent question and a well known state. I don't generally need to describe where California is but I do need to explain where Colorado is, generally by being north of Texas. I digress. I am blonde, friendly, loquatious, tall, a bit of a drama queen and my new endo in Germany assumed that from the rather "perfect" shape of my breasts that I had already had breast augmentation. I ha...

• Post #4263710

  One of my pet peeves is when a science fiction human character says "It's an earth expression" to a confused alien character when it is, in fact, not an earth expression. Earth Expression would imply it's Earth Generalized not an American English expression. "Like shooting fish in a barrel" is not an earth expression, James. America is not earth. Stop taking your culture as a the unilateral default, James. Southern California is not "Earth". Hollywood is can...

• Post #4263709

  There is a festival at the manor near our house and this means parking is rather at a premium. We are concerned about parking so a say to my wife Me: I know, I know! We could do the most German thing imaginable. When we need to leave our spot we could just leave a white towel there and it would stay reserved! ( An unwritten societal rule that annoys people at swimming pools. Germans just leave a white towel on their spot and rely on strict honor code as a reservation. There is no law that says...

• Post #4263708

  I am going to say this in English but it's about Berlin. I'm doing this as I'll also be referencing Pulse Nightclub in Orlando. So I came out about a year after the Pulse shootings. It wasn't phrased as an attack on the queer community but rather Florida and US Democracy as a whole. A muslim extremist slaughtered 49 and wounded 58 with a machine gun. I remember the queer community being robbed. I remember the pride banners. I even had one to support a community I would find out...

• Post #4263707

  My wifish is clearing up storage in the camera for our vacation to Ireland tomorrow and sent this picture to me. Ae's been spending time with that cute girl I keep seeing in the mirror!

• Post #2541547

  @thatfrisiangirlish@blahaj.zone "no no no no no not on the bed!" and then you move cat girlfriend to have her hairball safely on the tile floor. Easier cleanup.

• Post #2390600

  @nicolexyz@hachyderm.io I have Serbian, Bosnian and Croatian coworkers and they always laugh their asses off when I ask for a bucket. Which is is kanta + the cutification ending that I don't know how to even spell kantija is approximate. It is a HARD language and half the sounds I feel like the goal is to push my chin downwards with a bicep of a tongue. They all think it's hysterical and I am an extrovert and am just happy to have made them laugh.

• Post #2160240

  I was talking to my ( German ) boss once about the American (maybe anglophone, need more information there ) tendency to not tell the truth if the truth is negative. In this case it was about not telling a person if you like them as a friend or not because hurting someone's feelings is considered rude. Germans do not care. They believe the truth will set you free, even if it feels cruel. She asked me "How could you know if anyone ever truly likes you?" I thought back to my fears...

• Post #1804114

  A bit of an odd niche vent, I am an extreme spoon cuddle admirer. I am a side sleeper and a doctor once said I have short tendons in my legs that leads to me aprreciating sleeping in a curled up position. I have dated people 16 cm to 20 cm shorter than myself, men and women, and I do not appreciate being used as a cuddle booster seat. I once dated a guy about 16 cm taller than me and I was like "Awesome now I get to be lil spoon" unfortunately he was a big strong man and didn't li...

• Post #1679218

  I am a demisexual. My wife is an asexual. Sometimes I will forget that sex is a thing that exists until my brain bugs me and says "Hey HEyyyy there's something important that you are missing". My wife will just forget for all time. Well last night she rolls over and feels my nips and noticed I was aroused ( "like tiny diamonds" she said ) WHEN I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE. Sometimes being ace spectrum can lead to some very odd sexual encounters X.X

• Post #1679217

  I am not made for capitalism. I am made for cuddles! But now I must work TT_TT. Cuddles come after =3

• Post #1679215

  Everyone is always telling me that I am privileged to be married to A German but I don't feel privileged. I feel scarred. Like I ask "Wer zur Hölle ist Hase" and she shows me an entire article on Victor Hase and why he doesn't know anything. Or I ask how can "Ja Ja" be offensive and she pulls out her copy of Werner Beinhart. Now I know it means "Leck mich am Arsch" (en: lick my ass). Or she started singing die Toten Hosen in the shower and I bring this earwo...

• Post #1679214

  I had a Orthodox Serbian coworker talking about the formation of the Orthodox church and he asked me. "The US is predominantly Evangelical?" except in very broken German but that's irrelevant. Just know this conversation wasn't in English and it's not a direct quote. And I thought about all the different sects of evangelicalism that exist in the USA. I dated a Irish roman catholic, don't come for me for what I am about to say but. I have met Catholics, Evangelicals a...

• Post #1613254

  Get yourself a partner that lets you give up. It took me years and multiple Pokemon games, loads of panic attacks, lots of anger for me to make the decision to give up on Pokemon. It plays havoc with my OCD and it really isn't nice. MULTIPLE titles because giving up is not something I am used to with the hyperfocus and the childhood trauma. Giving up wasn't something I was allowed. I was really trying to cogame but there are certain segments of Cyberpunk 2077 that have a similar impact...

• Post #1108598

  Everybody knows Scuba is actually an acronym. Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. But a Tuba could also be like Scuba except it's a TERRIBLE underwater breathing apparatus.

• Post #856787

  "I don't think I could..." In 2015 I took a trip to France, England and Scotland. I could barely parse Scottish and I found French opaque. I convinced myself I could never speak another language. Now in 2026 I have been told my German is "Praktisch Muttersprachig" (Practically mothertongue) and "Umgangssprachlich" (Colloquial). Well on my path to citizenship. I was divorced in 2016 and was convinced I'd be alone and was hella straight. Turns out I am hella...

• Post #856786

  I feel this song is the song of the times now that a draft dodger is running another war against a china backed country talking about reinstating the draft. Written in a fit of rage about the unjustness of the Vietnam War and that a senator's son had gotten out of the draft because he was a senator's son. I'm really starting to see how much of protest music is really sung with false ironic positivity. Bruttosocialprodukt Geier Sturzflug, 99 Luftballoons Nena, or even more from the s...

• Post #856785

  I had another coworker ask me today "Why is America so? Why don't you change it." My reply was to the extent of "We the people are cowards" but it goes deeper than this and I had a rather stunning realization today. We are told when we move our military or perform a coup we are "helping". There's a consistent saviour complex associated with our military. It is not a saviour. It is not good. It's a military industrial complex not a moral codex or religio...

• Post #856784

  I was practicing my German today by doing puppygirl teething and playing with German. My wife encourages this. To become uneepy: enteepen To become destructively eepy: zereepen To become eepy: vereepen To go eep: eineepen To forfeit or decide not to eep: abeepen to make someone else eepy: beeepen #german #silly

• Post #856783

  Everyone is always talking about the densest object. Black Holes. neutronium. Osmium. I'm hear to tell you, they are all wrong. The densest object in the universe is German white cabbage. Weiß Kohl. The stuff they make Kraut and Sauerkraut from. Good gods.

• Post #856782

  I thought Chuck Norris could never die. He's the only man to make God and the Devil afraid. May the heavens know fear. I would say rest in peace, Chuck Norris but he doesn't know Peace. So let the heavens tremble for Chuck Norris knocks for no man. Not even saint Peter.

• Post #856781

  When I say "we need a cat" and my partner replies "two" that is marriage level material.

• Post #856780

  Every so often I reach up and feel the gauges in my ears and go "Wahoo, I got holes in my ears". I had a lot of people tell me "No, don't do that! You'll ruin your ears" or while I was going through the very painful, long process of gauging threaten to put immediate holes in my ears instead of rather slow ones. Gauge tolerance has increased since I was a lil baby pupper but it's still not all there. I'm still overjoyed even if my wife had her doubts at the be...

• Post #856779

  So my understanding of "Immigrants is just code for racism" has moved from a logical understanding to an empathic one over time. Like I am not a German yet. I'm in the process of citizenship but it's long, hard and expensive. But generally speaking, my coworkers call me an "Honorary German". You can likely see this from my profile but I'm hella white, got blonde hair and blue eyes. VERY white. I make Mayo look tan. I had a coworker. Lived his whole life in German...