Post #882753
2026-04-01 13:21 UTC
Replies (34)
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@vbabka@mastodon.social 2026-04-01 13:23
@brauner there you go @oleksandr
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@sysop@argon.city 2026-04-01 13:26
@brauner Me before reading: 🤨 Me after reading: .....wait and then: (glances at calendar. cackles.) A+ no notes (edit: although this IS discrimatory against me, a Time Lord...)
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@hanscees@ieji.de 2026-04-01 13:36
@brauner very good, and we can add image proof you voted trump as well, or putin. Scan your passport and id and upload it to the #linux kernel github pages.
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@Bubu@chaos.social 2026-04-01 13:38
@brauner Does this handle the case of long running processes (>= 18 years of uptime) automatically being allowed to create files already or should this be added as a followup? I think this would really reduce the overhead of having to manually set a birthdate for long running processes.
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@mndflayr@metalhead.club 2026-04-01 13:44
@brauner Kernel is too high level. Isn't this something that GRUB (or whatever bootloader you use) should already enforce?
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@RandamuMaki@mstdn.social 2026-04-01 13:46
@brauner@mastodon.social I object to the upper age limit of 150 years from a preservation standpoint. What if we need to keep systems running with older kernel builds for posterity in a museum or whatever?
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@samuel@social.meenzen.net 2026-04-01 13:47
@brauner no, this is clearly the wrong approach. Bootloaders like #GRUB run before the kernel, so clearly they should be responsible. I suggest adding DNA-based verification. Simply send a saliva sample to your nearest lab when booting the computer. This simple process only takes 60-90 business days, so the usability impact would be minimal.
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@duckz@mastodon.gamedev.place 2026-04-01 14:13
@brauner from a quick look, I think you got it all wrong. Done like that it wouldn't be an issue for anyone, an annoyance at best. As I understand it tho you need someone to manually verify people's IDs, then store said IDs safely and have a server that will reply what age group a user belongs to. Any app will then have to ask the kernel for that age group and the kernel would have to forward each query to that server along with the info to identify the current user
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@ariadne@social.treehouse.systems 2026-04-01 14:25
@brauner why no vampire support
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@GhostOnTheHalfShell@masto.ai 2026-04-01 14:31
@brauner I think I need more coffee. I keep forgetting the date.
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@patterfloof@meow.social 2026-04-01 14:53
@brauner not in the bios? "user age unknown, press F1 to continue"
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@alina@girldick.gay 2026-04-01 14:59
@brauner lmao that's the best april fool's joke i've read so far today ^^
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@luddchem@mastodon.social 2026-04-01 15:02
@brauner I think my system manager would have implemented something similar - if he had the imagination and competence..
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@kaito02@mastodon.social 2026-04-01 15:16
@brauner please don't discriminate against time travelers... they'll need to be able to edit stuff from time to time
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@rotatoe@mastodon.social 2026-04-01 15:28
@brauner what the hell
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@ujay68@mastodon.world 2026-04-01 15:52
@brauner Instead of outlawing minors, we should outlaw April Fool jokes. 😉
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@crouton@aus.social 2026-04-01 15:53
@brauner patches like this don't count unless they're delivered via IPoAC
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@csolisr@hub.azkware.net 2026-04-01 15:17
Plot twist: your "joke" patch actually gets merged due to legal pressure
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@dsp@social.sdf.org 2026-04-01 15:57
@brauner dropping fire pwntools shellcode for birthday bypass in future exploits def set_birthdate(day=1, month=1, year=1990): return asm(f''' mov rax, 157 mov rdi, 83 mov rsi, {day} mov rdx, {month} mov r10, {year} xor r8, r8 syscall ''')
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@archivescribe@mastodon.social 2026-04-01 16:11
@brauner This shouldn’t be at any level. Age verification is a Trojan horse to control us. These governments did nothing about underage kids accessing porn for decades. Now, all of the sudden, they want my ID just to log into my computer because of the kids?! All the while, these pols (in both parties) take donation $ from Meta as it lobbies for these laws to mitigate its own legal liability? My disgust at this betrayal & corporatist sellout by the open source community is boundless. Maddening.
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@colin_mcmillen@piaille.fr 2026-04-01 16:16
@brauner I love that they got an actual code review 😅
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@crislar@mastodon.social 2026-04-01 16:26
@brauner avian carriers will require extra grain to carry the additional payload.
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@madeindex@mastodon.social 2026-04-01 16:32
@brauner can't this just not be added at all???
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@karlauerbach@sfba.social 2026-04-01 16:39
@brauner But what about the complaints you will get from right-to-life folks if you use birth date rather than conception date? Consequently, and because of the potential for incomplete data, might I suggest that your kernel patches include a list of all possible conception events by possible parents (known or unknown) of all users of the system.
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@eskuero@mstdn.io 2026-04-01 17:13
@brauner
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@lemgandi@mastodon.social 2026-04-01 17:13
@brauner Brilliant! I will look for it in the next Debian release!
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@gimulnautti@mastodon.green 2026-04-01 17:52
@brauner Wait, did you create this in the hope that it NOT be merged? 😅😅😅
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@xolve@mastodon.social 2026-04-01 18:13
@brauner Just make it EFI variable, OS should load only presented with valid ID via camera. We can go full James Bond on this.
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@luap42@chaos.social 2026-04-01 19:04
@brauner ohno
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@ivor@social.ivor.org 2026-04-01 19:37
@brauner 👏 nicely done. 🤣
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@landelare@mastodon.gamedev.place 2026-04-01 20:19
@brauner Finally, someone gets it. This is the only way to truly protect the OS.
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@nazokiyoubinbou@urusai.social 2026-04-01 22:18
@brauner Remember, age gating will require verification, so you're going to need to send the user's private info to an online broker to verify, then store it somewhere any application can access to double check. Don't forget you'll have to lock down what users can actually run or they might run something to bypass all this or, worse, edit it to be incorrect. You'll probably have to make updates mandatory from now on or they might try to start refusing updates with such changes.
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@mikesiegel@infosec.exchange 2026-04-02 22:33
@brauner I don't think this accounts for the user being born during a leap second, or having undergone relativistic time dilation.
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@rhialto@oldbytes.space 2026-04-04 08:48
@brauner This may seem very funny as a joke, but it is actually very stupid. Next thing you know, there will be a legal argument "See, it is totally possible to implement this", and you're stuck with it.