2026-05-12 07:13 UTC
Replies (21)
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@emma@orbital.horse 2026-05-12 07:15
@jacqueline@chaos.social "but, shareholders."
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@Skye@chaos.social 2026-05-12 07:19
@jacqueline@chaos.social so lemme get this right: GitHub is currently collapsing under the weight of slop (both the slop they themselves are shipping + all the repo's created in the slop factories) and the correct move from GitLab, the obvious main competitor, is to shoot themselves in the leg by doing the same thing and getting rid of people!? My stupid simple mind cannot comprehend these levels of capitalistic brilliance.
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@lunarloony@dosgame.club 2026-05-12 07:26
@jacqueline@chaos.social "Reduce the number of countries" sounds ominous
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@ansuz@gts.cryptography.dog 2026-05-12 07:33
@jacqueline@chaos.social I understand that this isn't for everyone, but it's amazing how many problems I've managed to avoid by simply pushing my code to manually configured git remotes over ssh.
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@Igigog@mastodon.gamedev.place 2026-05-12 07:43
@jacqueline@chaos.social to be honest, if you throw out all the AI marketing speech away, it's not even that bad of a plan. They're: 1. 10x-ing their infrastructure 2. Keeping engineering teams small and end-to-end responsible 3. Adding new APIs to explore the codebase 4. Improving authentication infrastructure I feel like there was an engineer behind that plan who was like, "yeah you can throw in agentic AI bullshit, but I'm building for humans"
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@andreas@mstdn.dk 2026-05-12 07:47
@jacqueline@chaos.social Oh fuck, you aren't kidding! Role right-sizing: As we shift to a new strategy and way of working, powered by AI, we must revisit the size of staffing for each role to ensure we are optimizing for speed and customer outcomes. In some cases, AI can augment and accelerate what team members have been doing, in other places we need to expand certain roles to go faster. We do expect daily use of AI by every individual in the company and we are launching AI acceleration programs to support every role as part of our transformation. 🤢
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@woof@fedi.aria.dog 2026-05-12 07:47
@jacqueline@chaos.social i ctrl-f’d “agen” and the first hit was in the promo bar above the article
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@kalviter@hol.ogra.ph 2026-05-12 07:49
@jacqueline@chaos.social gonna start calling this graph shape the "stupid AIgent Coder Banks" or "Samwise, but Stockfoolish", can't decide which yet
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@kgMadee2@mathstodon.xyz 2026-05-12 07:53
@jacqueline@chaos.social bit late to the party, no? Do they have a burning desire to be the bag holder?
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@libffi@chitter.xyz 2026-05-12 08:17
corporations when they have to do nothing to stay alive: :loading: wait a minute we could fuck up hard
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@virtualwolf@toot.virtualwolf.org 2026-05-12 08:17
@jacqueline@chaos.social Just incredible.
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@mcv@friendica.opensocial.space 2026-05-12 08:27
@jacqueline@chaos.social Codeberg seems to be the place to be these days.
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@lumiworx@mastodon.social 2026-05-12 08:37
@jacqueline@chaos.social Reading the meaty parts about how they'll 'operate going forward', and you get all you need to know in a few words... "Our three new operating principles are: Speed with Quality ... " You never, ever get both. History is littered with companies that tried and failed. "Ownership Mindset" Really? Employees who own none of it should just act like they do, 'cause, ya know... Yeah, Team! "Customer Outcomes" They've already watched GitHub implode, so yeah, more of that, please!
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@ehproque@neopaquita.es 2026-05-12 08:41
@jacqueline@chaos.social for a magical moment they created a few dollars of shareholder value
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@f4grx@chaos.social 2026-05-12 08:41
@jacqueline@chaos.social we could see it coming with their new ceo.
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@bituur_esztreym@pouet.chapril.org 2026-05-12 08:41
@jacqueline@chaos.social i&i love this sentence buried somewhere in the mail to employees: "I want to be direct: I want to do this once, and do it right, and not revisit our structure anytime in the foreseeable future." oh yeah. like, you think you're building the Parthenon or what? with AI chunks? this joke makes my day. the funniest/saddest is he must think his tone is one of "mitigation" someway.. oh my..
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@evalhaik@bonn.social 2026-05-12 08:47
@jacqueline@chaos.social so... I should migrate to codeberg?
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@Baa@mk.absturztau.be 2026-05-12 08:50
@jacqueline@chaos.social I love this part: Where local requirements apply we will not make any changes until the local process is complete."We will fire you as soon as we can, except where we're legally not allowed to"
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@phl@mastodon.social 2026-05-12 09:14
@jacqueline@chaos.social 8 layers of management is pure madness, but the reduction of that is probably the only positive thing I can read out of this thing...
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@tammeow@cute-spellcasting-ideas.eu 2026-05-12 09:17
@jacqueline@chaos.social Who would have thought that the employee section is full of repetition as if... Markov chain generated 🫨
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@doctormo@floss.social 2026-05-12 09:18
@jacqueline@chaos.social Getting rid of git is amusing. Too much tracking, too many humans poking their nose in at what the agentic oroborus is doing.