It's all SO simple!
2026-03-06 03:27 UTC
Replies (27)
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@Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 2026-03-06 03:42
This is a joke but I lost 20 pounds so far just by eating half as much as I normally would.
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@stupidcasey@lemmy.world 2026-03-06 05:53
Isn't there someone you forgot to ask? 
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@WhiteRabbit_33@lemmy.world 2026-03-06 16:46
"If you legitimately don't consent to the calories, the body has a way of trying to shut that whole thing down." - Todd Akin
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@Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 2026-03-06 04:04
I mean......yes? I get that this is supposed to be a joke, but, I don't get the joke. This is literally how weight loss works. Eat less. Eat healthier. Exercise. Weight loss is hard because it's hard to stick to it. But the concepts aren't complicated. Caleries in minus caleries burned equals caleries stored as fat. Less caleries means less unburned caleries means less fat.
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@DJKJuicy@sh.itjust.works 2026-03-06 12:00
Every fat person on earth already knows that too much food makes you fat. Yet somehow, even armed with this knowledge, we're all fat. Curious.
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@DJKJuicy@sh.itjust.works 2026-03-06 15:49
Addicted to alcohol: Stop drinking. You can't control an addiction so you have to completely stop. Addicted to cigarettes: Stop smoking. You can't control an addiction so you have to completely stop. Addicted to crack: Stop smoking crack. You can't control an addiction so you have to completely stop. Addicted to food: Must be your fault for being weak-willed. _Just don't consume so much of that thing that you're addicted to._ You can control your addiction. Just stop being a loser... The literal solution to every addiction is stop it, cold turkey. One Day At A Time. **But you can't stop eating food. You'll die.** So it's as if an alcoholic has to constantly have just a little alcohol. Or a crackhead has to keep smoking crack, but only every once in a while. No problem, just control yourself... I'm sure telling people that they're pieces of shit for eating food will fix the problem, eventually. We just have to try a little harder.
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@jeffep@lemmy.world 2026-03-06 08:27
I understand the burger bit but who eats a human hand? That's just gross
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@Dasus@lemmy.world 2026-03-06 16:48
Jokes on you I got some sort of undiagnosed malabsorption issues and won't get fat even when I eat burgers and candy and alcohol day after day.
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@Gork@sopuli.xyz 2026-03-06 03:43
My god why didn't I think of that!
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@vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 2026-03-06 09:30
I've got that fun bit of autism where I can just will myself to not be hungry. Can only do it so often before my instincts put a stop to that by making me ravenous for like 2 days straight though. Probably shouldn't be doing it for days at a time now that I think about it.
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@village604@adultswim.fan 2026-03-06 15:48
The title isn't wrong. Losing weight is an extremely simple process. Simple doesn't mean easy, though.
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@lasta@piefed.world 2026-03-06 07:14
WITHDRAW CONSENT *(projectile vomits)*
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@DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 2026-03-06 16:14
YSK: If you are an American Citizen or US Tax Resident, your first 200 pounds of fat is legally exempt and therefore does not count for BMI Purposes. Nutritionists hate this one simple trick! Follow me for more advice.
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@GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2026-03-06 18:29
omg guys! this actually works! I was just eating a fat burger for lunch and was getting really full. I wasn't sure how I could finish the rest of it and I just told the calories to fuck off and I was able to finish the whole thing!
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@Kolanaki@pawb.social 2026-03-06 11:57
They should invent food that has 0 calories to eat when you're bored instead of hungry.
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@blujan@sopuli.xyz 2026-03-06 03:40
Technically true most of the times
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@SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world 2026-03-06 05:20
You know they tube feed patients in comas, right? The patient presumably didn't give consent, and yet I'm pretty sure that's legal. Doesn't even have to be a "too much junk food" coma.
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@harambe69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2026-03-06 16:45
Or move to rural Britain. Food so gross you'd rather starve.
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@kittykillinit@lemy.lol 2026-03-06 15:54
I feel like a lot of people who are addicted to food don't have much else in their life to keep them excited.
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@Nioxic@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2026-03-06 05:30
Fasting is a real thing Ramadan Lent And just straight up fasting or intermittent fasting Its been a thing for over 1000 years And that was voluntary… humans can survive for months without food provided they got fat enough. It’s healthy too. Just dont, if youre pregnant, a child, under nourished, under weight, sick etc etc And during a fast… feel bad? Just eat
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@Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 2026-03-06 05:53
You had to put an image, eh? Well now I'm just going to make a fucking burger and eat it till I cry.
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@SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 2026-03-06 13:04
I KNOW MY HIPAA RIGHTS.
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@cley_faye@lemmy.world 2026-03-06 08:46
Not only I consent, but I actually want it to happen. That's the issue.
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@xia@lemmy.ca 2026-03-07 00:55
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Force-feeding
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@zebidiah@lemmy.ca 2026-03-06 04:19
Just stay off social media...
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@blarghly@lemmy.world 2026-03-06 04:13
I know this is a shitpost, but... yeah, if those are the calories you are eating....
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@FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 2026-03-06 14:41
Some people have no sense of actions resulting in consequences. Some people will eat fattening food and then complain as if they had no choice in the matter. Much like in college when you constantly hear people complaining that they're not ready for an exam because they spent last evening drunk watching TV instead of studying, as if that wasn't a choice they made.