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@barefootrambling@autistics.life

Post #2042908

2026-05-03 20:46 UTC

Reading about liminality for my current WIP novel and the deeper I go, the more convinced I am that #autistic folx are liminal beings. For some context: I've referred to myself as marginalia for 20+ years. In high school I wasn't IN any clique, but I had 'contacts' in most of them so I knew what was going on everywhere. Later, I started adding that I was "just wired" different (only to find out I was right. Literally.) and that explained things like why folks have always found me a receptive ear and said that talking with me was relaxing and they left the chat feeling better. Now, as a writer, I feel like this status as consummate outsider is a huge benefit. I can travel between groups, gleaning what I need to know for a piece, often just by observing for a while. Then I go back to my dark basement and write it up. I'm nowhere near the bottom of this rabbit hole, so my thoughts are still a bit hazy, but I expect I'll have a lot more to say in the near future. In the meantime, anyone have thoughts on this they'd be OK sharing? I'm all ears... @autistics #ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyADHD #auDHD

Replies (5)

  • @webidebi@mastodon.social 2026-05-03 21:30

    @barefootrambling@autistics.life I've always thought of it as being like a human camelion - but liminal being is a better description.

    Open ##2311104

  • @pathfinder@beige.party 2026-05-03 23:16

    @barefootrambling@autistics.life @autistics@fedigroups.social I would say that we qualify. I was like you, not really in one group, but able to flit between groups. I suppose it is a part of always being on the outside looking in.

    Open ##2311105

  • @soren@kolektiva.social 2026-05-04 07:54

    @barefootrambling@autistics.life @autistics@fedigroups.social This toot resonated deeply in me, thank you for that! The more I think about it, the more I see similarities with my behaviour in groups. Although for me it is a bit different: in order to not be overwhelmed by silent group expectations, I nowadays tend to take an active part in groups, managing emotions and group behaviour, suggesting ideas and amplifying voices, who are (imo) not heard enough. I don't consciously manipulate, it's all done in the open. That often leads to me being a sort of center - but not included in the same way, because societal norms would prohibit to be that active and caring - and also because I am perceived as intense. If you imagine a group as a circle, and the people as holding hands as the ring, I am a dot in the middle, not really connected with anyone. At the same time, I jump to other groups and connect groups with each other. And try to include more people into the circles. Neurotypical group norms feel not only nebulous but also restrictive to me. Why am I not supposed to make sure that the upset person outside has a way back to connect? Why should I not propose a meeting date, that is not possible for me, but works better for most people?

    Open ##2311108

  • @barefootrambling@autistics.life I once published an allegorical autobiography. Its title was: The Liminal Man Then I unpublished it. For one thing I did NOT know what I am autistic when I wrote it, and I did not know that I am nonbinary either. (Don't go searching for it on the web, you'll find all kinds of other works with the same title.) @autistics@fedigroups.social

    Open ##2311111

  • @veroalgoz@neurodifferent.me 2026-05-04 16:54

    @barefootrambling@autistics.life @autistics@fedigroups.social i did not know the word liminal. I was calling myself "the passenger". Still do. I relate to what you describe. Except that when unmasking started i still can be in many places and people trust me except i dont want to be the "therapy friend" any more, so sudenly people less interested in my utility. Before unmasking I thought i was popular and loved. Then lockdown came, and people had to define priority contacts because of gathering rules and police controls, and surprise, i was nobody's priority contact. When travelling or random situations i talk with people and gain their trust to an extensive point, but a tiny bit of arm distance.. both sides. Maybe as it should be. sometimes contacts last years, decades. I navigate several contexts and bubles, i sort of belong in a conditional and non fanatical way to all of them, loyalty but dont sign their magna carta. At least without reading the fine print. I see the failings, contradictions in bubles and groups. Sometimes adress them, sometimes keep them for myself. I just do my thing. And maybe that is what makes me trustable I do my thing and seldom will be entangled or corrupted by the dynamics of one single buble.

    Open ##2311112