Post #2311108

@barefootrambling@autistics.life @autistics@fedigroups.social This toot resonated deeply in me, thank you for that! The more I think about it, the more I see similarities with my behaviour in groups. Although for me it is a bit different: in order to not be overwhelmed by silent group expectations, I nowadays tend to take an active part in groups, managing emotions and group behaviour, suggesting ideas and amplifying voices, who are (imo) not heard enough. I don't consciously manipulate, it's all done in the open. That often leads to me being a sort of center - but not included in the same way, because societal norms would prohibit to be that active and caring - and also because I am perceived as intense. If you imagine a group as a circle, and the people as holding hands as the ring, I am a dot in the middle, not really connected with anyone. At the same time, I jump to other groups and connect groups with each other. And try to include more people into the circles. Neurotypical group norms feel not only nebulous but also restrictive to me. Why am I not supposed to make sure that the upset person outside has a way back to connect? Why should I not propose a meeting date, that is not possible for me, but works better for most people?