Post #1716768

2026-04-15 16:01 UTC

@Willow @Tessa @eri sorry I wasn't commenting on anyone in particular. It just feels wrong to me for a partner to make a comment where they support you as long as you don't do X, it feels like an ultimatum between your transition and your relationship.

Replies (3)

@Willow@chaosfem.tw 2026-04-15 16:11

@ciara @Tessa @eri Yeah. I won’t comment on if it was or wasn’t, but it sure did interact with my lack of self worth in ways that left festering wounds.

Open ##1716769
@glassblowerscat@wandering.shop 2026-04-15 16:41

@ciara Here’s my take as someone who was (I feel) badly treated by my ex when it came to my transition. Many relationships don’t survive a gender transition, and that’s not necessarily either person’s fault. But it makes a huge difference when and how your partner tells you they’ve gone as far along your path with you as they can go. @Willow @Tessa @eri

Open ##1716770
@doppelgrau@anarres.family 2026-04-15 20:04

@ciara @Willow @Tessa @eri Yes, it can feel like an ultimatum and also hurt some transition progress. But from my own transition and relationship, sometimes these "ultimatum" shouldn't be taken at face value, they can be a proxy for (now) unmet needs on the side of the partner. (Or just honest, sometimes attraction depends on some things and without them ...) But I'd also say, it really depends on the way it is said.

Open ##1716774