Post #1359711

2026-03-28 09:00 UTC

@Maker_of_Things @Susan60 My parents took my Granddad in after his stroke and he lived with them for about 15 years before it got too much and he moved into a nursing home for the last couple of years. They made my sister and I promise not to take them in however much they beg and instead get them into professional care the moment they can't look after themselves :( They moved to a bungalow about 10 years back and downsized to make the transition easier when it happens.

Replies (3)

@naturepunk@ecoevo.social 2026-03-28 09:03

@Maker_of_Things @Susan60 on the other hand we have my mother in law who is housebound and refuses to acknowledge she needs more care than can be provided in her home and would do anything to live with us in a home that is unable to be adapted to her needs. My partner is the full-time carer of our autistic children (the youngest has more care needs than me and the big 'un) so is unable to take on more even if she wanted to.

Open ##1359713
@Maker_of_Things@cupoftea.social 2026-03-28 09:11

@naturepunk It all comes down to respecting their wishes and their consent. Sometimes that isn't easy. Culturally Chinese families take in their elders, and I kinda did it without too much concern. Back in the 80s and 90s we did a lot of work within sheltered and supported housing, and I saw first hand the types of personality that works with, those it is less suited for. And nursing homes really wouldn't have suited them. I had the discussion with my parents, and it was a joint agreement that I would look after them at home, it just became them in my home instead of me in theirs. Dad, in later years, was absolutely against us moving to Wales, so we waited. Now he has gone, Mum is more than happy to move with us while she still can. She is 93 now and still holding her own against the world. I am looking forward to Mum enjoying seeing where Sue and I end up. @Susan60

Open ##1359721
@Susan60@aus.social 2026-03-28 20:51

@naturepunk @Maker_of_Things I think that tells you something. They couldn’t refuse to care for grandad, but can’t bear the thought of you having to do the same for them.

Open ##1359725