They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles.
Who the hell runs 8 miles in 45 seconds?
(For pedantics who will complain about me using "miles" in that, replace it with 64 furlongs.)
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
mastodon
4.5.9
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http://about.me/spaf for more.
0
Followers
0
Following
Joined November 02, 2022
Other info:
My Purdue webpage:
Posts
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
35
0
13
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
Remember six years ago when we were all keeping people away from us? And we were singing a little song to be sure we were washing our hands long enough?
I was able to do both at once by singing "Don't Fear the Reaper."
32
0
4
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
Back of the T-shirt for all attendees at the CERIAS Symposium. https://ceri.as/2026
12
0
2
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
Thank you for the recognition today at the 27th CERIAS Security Symposium (https://ceri.as/2026)
Seeing our graduates succeed and make a difference is the best recognition.
50
0
13
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
Ah, memories! I'm recalling six years ago... I received a note from the Provost that I would need to self-isolate and remain off campus until further notice.
It wasn't a COVID precaution. Apparently, the faculty & staff took yet another vote on me...
17
0
4
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
28
0
5
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
The great thing about abbreviations and acronyms is that you can reassign the expansions of the letters to meet your current narrative.
For instance, the "S" in "AI" obviously stands for "Safety," "Security," and "Sanity," and the "R" stands for "Responsibility" and "Respect."
53
0
30
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
April showers bring...April mud, April tornado warnings, April puddles, and April areal flooding in low-lying areas. And May mosquitoes.
10
0
3
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
A few people who are out there following my posts may have known Georgie Gobel (the Purdue George, not the comedian from the last century).
George apparently died last month. He was a passionate early Unix user, inventor, and experimenter. Besides early work with multiprocessor Unix, he is perhaps best known for his 3-second lighting of a charcoal BBQ, a feat that earned him the 1996 Ig Nobel in Chemistry.
RIP.
https://www.jconline.com/obituaries/psbn1445636
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_H._Goble
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sab2Ltm1WcM
50
0
43
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
I avoid X-twitter. Someone sent me the text of a post there, and it is hysterical (and sadly, has an element of truth). I can't find it posted elsewhere, so I guess I need to share the link here:
https://x.com/gothburz/status/2039690059947901243?s=61
FYI/FYA
10
0
14
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
I saw a sign recently advertising an event: "Speed Dating for Charity."
Ah, memories. For most of my earlier years, any dates I had were charity, and they were over blindingly fast.
12
0
3
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
The White House has announced plans to honor the President for the 250th anniversary of the country: By July 4th, they intend to raise the price of a gallon of gas to $47.45.
View on mstdn.social
130
0
113
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
HHS Launches MASA Initiative: The Implications for Artificial Intelligence
Washington DC -- Hold for Release April 1, 2026 HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. has announced a new initiative: MASA -- Make America Stupid Again. A press release from his office stated, "As part of our agenda to remove all artificial items from public consumption, we will be seeking to ban Artificial Intelligence, Artificial Sweeteners, Artificial Stupidity, and -- consistent with…
4
0
3
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
Back when I used to do pranks on April 1, I spent some time and effort planning them.
This was perhaps my best one, from 2008. It will be somewhat fresh for many people now. Perhaps it will give some inspiration to those of you who need new prank ideas?
6
0
5
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
I woke up this morning, feeling wonderful, energized, and happy to be alive.
Now that I've been awake for a while, I've recovered and I am back to normal.
48
0
7
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
576
14
437
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
Thank you, everyone, for noting my continuing my slide into senescence and decrepitude. I appreciate all the good wishes (and even some of the other ones). May we all win enough of the battle with entropy to meet up again in the not-too-distant future.
22
0
0
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
I'd be more likely to "grow up" if I saw that it had worked for anyone else.
60
0
37
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
This birthday marks a milestone: I no longer have to fear dying young. And if I go missing, there would be a silver alert with the word “elderly” in it.
Thankfully, I am not yet too old to set a bad example.
58
0
16
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
My problems started at an early age. Most of my friends were imaginary, and I was cooped up with bad influences. But I've always liked cute chicks!
15
0
4
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
I saw where someone posted the #1 song from the week they were born.
I guess I’m jealous.
They hadn't invented recording equipment yet when I was born.
Or music.
Or words.
It's hell to get old.
39
0
5
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
243
0
171
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
Vernal equinox: Today is the day my days suck equally bad as the nights.
(Posted originally as "vermin equinox," which is frightening, because autocorrect doesn't know "vernal," but might be more appropriate considering those in positions of government authority.)
12
0
4
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."
-- incorrectly ascribed to Nietzsche (cf. https://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/06/05/dance-insane/)
15
0
5
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
May your St. Patrick’s Day be full of fun.
7
0
3
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
Each day brings chances to ease pain, share a laugh, love someone, and be loved.
One day, those chances stop coming. What remains are the differences we made, the people whose lives are better because of what we did and said, and the love we shared.
Don't bet on "someday." Carpe diem.
24
0
15
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
For those of us who write dates in US format (month, day), Happy Pi Day!
Yes, today is 3.14. And if you are willing to get added to a mailing list, here are more digits of Pi than you thought you might want: https://www.backblaze.com/contact-sales/pi-day
5
0
5
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything."
--Friedrich Nietzsche (1844–1900)
23
0
10
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
Something has gone terribly awry with my life plans. I fully expected to be sitting on a throne, drinking wine from the skulls of my enemies, not sitting in a broken chair, sipping lukewarm coffee from a chipped cup with a faded "COMDEX '94" on the side.
I went into academia planning to be a mad scientist, but not "mad" == "sad, tired, and delinquent with my annual eval." Too late for Plan B.
50
0
9
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
I was one of the 371 scientists who signed on to this letter urging governments to "Resist ‘dangerous and socially unacceptable’ age checks for social media."
Story with link to letter: https://www.politico.eu/article/age-check-social-media-scientist-warning/
72
0
65
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
"Somebody has to do something, and it’s just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us."
-- Jerry Garcia (1942-1995)
52
0
40
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
"People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use."
-- Soren Kierkegaard (1813-1855)
61
0
36
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."
— George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950)
35
0
25
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
40
0
29
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
Now it is getting real.
In a further attempt to distract from his being all thru the Epstein files, DJT is ordering the release of all the files on UFOs and ETs.
I'm definitely not in the Epstein files, but just may be (ahem) in the UFO files. Assume they are typos and carry on as usual.
22
0
7
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
Active military forced to watch ‘Melania’ documentary at SERE school
(Satire.. I hope.)
https://www.duffelblog.com/active-military-forced-to-watch-melania-documentary-at-sere-school/
3
0
5
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
"Show me somebody who is always smiling, always cheerful, always optimistic, and I will show you somebody who hasn't the faintest idea what the heck is really going on."
— Mike Royko (1932-1997)
22
0
7
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
68
0
36
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it wrongly and applying unsuitable remedies"
— Sir Ermest Benn, 2nd Baronet (1875-1954)
14
0
10
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
Friday the 13th followed by Valentine's Day—because nothing says romance like surviving a horror movie just to face the real terror: finding a dinner reservation.
Here are some soundtrack suggestions:
https://youtu.be/Fola80rQop4
https://youtu.be/WCjzNfJLHa0
https://youtu.be/lWYcZZDVEC0
https://youtu.be/-cV0IL2Dtok
9
0
3
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
I recently had a very thorough meeting with a financial planner and got some good news.
Apparently, I will be able to retire when I am 91 and live comfortably for about 2 weeks.
37
0
11
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
We're having a warm spell. Over 6 inches of standing snow and ice have melted.
How has Ferris celebrated? By running through -- and rolling in -- the resulting mud.
Does anyone know how to Scotchguard a dog?
12
0
1
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
An almost perfect evening!
Great meal, wonderful wine, delightful companions, witty repartee.
The only downside was they realized I wasn't invited, didn't know anyone there, and they kicked me out.
10
0
2
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
16
0
6
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
Yeah, it's all fun and games until someone loses a tentacle or an eyestalk.
20
0
9
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
74
0
30
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
“Some believe it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. It is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love.”
—J.R.R. Tolkien – The Hobbit, 1937
709
0
568
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
@cstross@wandering.shop @dave_andersen@hachyderm.io
That, and getting them to scrape The Onion and The Beaverton more often.
View full thread on mstdn.social
0
0
0
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
@lauren@mastodon.laurenweinstein.org Over half the time I have given a query to Gemini it has returned an incorrect result.
Perplexity and Claude seem the best, in my testing, although I don't use them extensively.
I have, as a standard part of queries, "Give a URL or preferably a DOI that substantiates your answer." Gemini often ignores this when it is hallucinating an answer.
View full thread on mstdn.social
2
0
2
spaf
@spaf@mstdn.social
Spaf is a homunculus of possible extraterrestrial origin, tilting at windmills. Cybersecurity, bad jokes, political outrage, academe, non-sequiturs, entropy. See http:// about.me/spaf for more.
mstdn.social
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a mouse
You can prevent this -- give carbon monoxide detectors as gifts this year.
389
0
250