@siege@masto.hackers.town

CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · 6d ago

Im late to the party by a month or so apparently but if you havent seen it you should watch the modern-but-throwback trans highschool romcom movie She's the He. If you ever asked why there isnt more trans people playing themselves before transition, or trans people playing cis people, or gay people playing straight people or just an entirely queer cast playing everyone. This is that film. Its super adorable.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Jun 30, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

the reason cis run gender clinics were built was out of fear that we would do it ourselves and out of their control. that theft wont be righted until we return to doing it ourselves out of their control. trans doctors, trans therapists, trans counsellors, trans lawyers, trans teachers, trans families.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Jun 30, 2026

cis people will not give us our rights we will have to plan generationally to prepare to take them for ourselves

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Jun 30, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

and so i am the eminent expert of my body. There is literally only one like it.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Jun 30, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

one surgeon might be able to give a definitive answer of where he put something, but he has no experience of how it works. I have experience of how things work but must rely on guesses and assumptions.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Jun 30, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

how my body works is a combination of chaos of various transhuman changes done to it. How the pipes connect, how the blood flows, how the hormones interact, none of this is known or covered. I am the only person who can infer how it works, and i cant look inside my body to see where things are, i dont even know where the pee comes out. It is a magic form.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Jun 30, 2026

as my body tries to deal with a strange fever, a thought struck me. Theres an idea a friend once brought up to me about how a Laptop has reached a point of magic, because the ability to fully understand each component works requires longer than a human lifetime. So experts of a component has to infer what other experts of their components are saying in how they speak to one another - and therefore that it works at all, is magic. My body and how it works, is not covered in any biology book.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Jun 04, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

all youre doing is making yourself shitter at everything

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Jun 04, 2026

people finally recognising that using generative ai breaks down your brains ability to do things for yourself. just like forgetting every single phone number because your phone does that and outsourcing knowledge to knowing how to find it again on the internet instead of remembering it yourself.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · May 12, 2026

hidey ho, kermit de crimes here

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · May 09, 2026

HRT SCIENCE

So going through some HRT supply issues with my GP, i decided to take the advantage to do a little bit of self-guinea pig testing.

Using estradot patches (brand of estradiol hemihydrate patches) that were 14 months past their displayed sell by date for a blood test.

Result came back exactly the same as last year when using in date patches.

704 pmol last year
706 pmol this year

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · May 06, 2026

the slow continual drip of people realising Showgirls is a good movie.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · May 01, 2026

constantly looking at the Angine de Poitrine drummer with ever narrowing eyes like .. are you 100% sure you're not Louis Cole?

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · May 01, 2026

Replying to @sexybenfranklin@smores.town

@sexybenfranklin@smores.town yeah, font search apps arent even registering it as a font

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · May 01, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

and the new Avalanches logo for this era which pretty certain is also Zawada's work.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · May 01, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

More magazine covers from the fake Takumi Digital Archives

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · May 01, 2026

Replying to @sexybenfranklin@smores.town

@sexybenfranklin@smores.town i thiiink its made for the project, Zawada seems to make quite a few fonts for his projects

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · May 01, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

artist is Jonathan Zawada, who they also worked with as the lead designer on their third album (We Will Always Love You). He does amazing typography and 3d work so im really excited to see hes back again.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · May 01, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

seems to be building around Memory Loss / False Memories from Nostalgia and the idea of Kenopsia as the word to describe the feeling of loss when stood in a large abandoned space that should be full of people.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · May 01, 2026

looks like The Avalanches have started their pre-album launch ARG-lite rabbit hole.

https://takumiarchives.com/

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · May 01, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

my favourite part of Baby Steps mind you is that its the living embodiment of the statement "Dont give the trans girl the aux"

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · May 01, 2026

Replying to @af@dataare.cool

@af@dataare.cool absolutely 100% Werner Herzog is my favourite muppet

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · May 01, 2026

"IGN: Baby Steps Developers React to 7 Minute Speedrun"

And its just Bennett Foddy and Gabe Cuzzillo discussing Werner Herzog's concept of Ecstatic Truth after immediately admitting they've already watched the speedrun 6 times before and then doing it again while pretending they've never seen it before and absolutely losing it.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · May 01, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

i want a world where tv shows are run into the ground over 13 seasons.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · May 01, 2026

TV Shows should be like Pro Sports Players, if a network doesnt pick up the next season, they should immediately become a free agent.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · May 01, 2026

i love when Bob Ross turns to the camera and says "Hey SquirrelFucker27 thanks for the bits"

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Apr 28, 2026

lesbian flag of big birds

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Apr 25, 2026

Replying to @JessTheUnstill@infosec.exchange

@JessTheUnstill and they dont have the ability to understand the situation, they can try to imagine it, but they wont live it. Or in my case regarding the person who told me "vaginas are a lot of work you know", they might turn out to be closeted trans and have all the baggage of internalized transphobia stuff going on

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Apr 25, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

medical clinics need to stop being this orbital thing that are outside of our control, they need to be in the heart of our community physically.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Apr 25, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

id go one further to say, we need trans staffed clinics that are physically part of trans community spaces. a newly out baby should be coming to such a space to get access to everything. Meeting people, getting to learn, getting to begin thinking about their choices regarding medical transition and what might be right for them while also hanging out with those who have already been there done that.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Apr 25, 2026

Replying to @riley@toot.cat

@riley yes absolutely, there was no upside to go into trans medicine for a cis doctor, you only go into it if its your last chance, or if you have alterior motives

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Apr 25, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

@riley It was self serving and aggrandizing in the manner of scientists pushing the boundaries and seeing themselves as performing miracles, but for a brief moment it was one of the only times we've ever had doctors viewing transition as something other than an act of pity and charity.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Apr 25, 2026

Replying to @riley@toot.cat

@riley its not that i have deep faith in the original doctors in the field, its just that they were operating at a time before there was specific anti-trans prejudice that we're so used to now. To them it was the age of WOW look at US Atomic Science! We can turn a Strapping US Infantryman into a Blonde Bombshell and wowzer what a woman! To them they were turning men into women, so there was no degree of difference between trans women.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Apr 25, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

because gender clinics run by cis doctors is like trying to get your Healthcare from Platos Allegory of the Cave

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Apr 25, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

we wont be free until we run our clinics

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Apr 25, 2026

Replying to @Dangerous_beans@aus.social

@Dangerous_beans@aus.social they were literally terrified that they might be witnessing the beginning of the collapse of sex. They where sweating bullets about what the ceiling might be in terms of percentage of men who would turn into women, or if there was a ceiling at all

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Apr 25, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

the Gender Clinics were invented and put in place in New York and London, because after Christine, there were thousands of us coming out of the woodwork, contacting doctors to ask if they could get hormones, and doctors were shrugging and saying why not, and they were terrified that if they didnt find a way to funnel us and slow us down, it might be a torrent and never stop. There was no "real trans" and "fake trans", they just invented criteria so they could output safe traditional women.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Apr 25, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

What was a temporary measure was never lifted, and because of how poorly regarded the trans medical field is, the quality of what sort of doctor would choose willingling to go into it lead to a downward trajectory from medical mavericks looking to be at the edge of modern science to those with saviour complexes, those with sexual daliances, and those who felt the trans menace at the gate needed to be contained How Sex Changed by Joanne Meyerowitz is probably the best insight into the history

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Apr 25, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

it was intended to be a temperaroy safety measure to make sure they could help as many as possible because of backlash to Christine Jorgensen. But by tightening the criteria, it lead to trans women passing notes on how to pass that criteria, which lead to an endless cold war between both sides passed down from doctor to doctor and trans girl to trans girl.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Apr 25, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

just to addendum this now, because i forget that its worthwhile repeating stuff ive posted a lot of times before because internet posts are ephemeral. This isnt conjecture, the doctors deciding they would narrow down the transition criteria to only trans women who were unsexual, passive, self hating and most able to quietly pass into straight society without causing ripples is catalogued history - because those doctors were worried their clinics would be shut down if they let us all transition

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Apr 23, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

@Callanbellwether they're not like normal cats, this breed is very tempramental!

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Apr 23, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

"they're a lot harder to look after you know" is probably the funniest line given to me by one of the two psychs i had to see in order to get my own government mandated vagina, delivered in a manner that was attempting to heavily dissuade

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Apr 23, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

and then she has to have no sexual desires of her own in the meantime. That, mixed with general self loathing is the ideal for a psychologist.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Apr 23, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

anything that diverges from Good Wife is deviant. The trans woman has to want to have sex with their husband, imagined or real, because that would make him happy.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Apr 23, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

i want to have a vagina because i want to get finger banged in a bathroom stall by a random girl i met in a night club is sadly not an acceptable answer for psychologists wanting to know why a trans woman wants to have GCS

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Apr 23, 2026

Replying to @siege@masto.hackers.town

the fear that trans women might want to have sex and that this is "unwomanly unchristian behaviour to be avoided" is baked into medical transition guidelines.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Apr 23, 2026

the "established guidelines" of what estrogen levels a trans woman should have, are not based on any studies of trans womens physical or mental health.

They come from a culture fostered by doctors over half a century ago that wanted to make sure trans women were meek, unsexual and "normal".

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Apr 11, 2026

yastronauts

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Mar 31, 2026

there has never been a safe time to come out as trans.

there wont be a safe time in your lifetime.

the only reason to delay is short term survival if you need to get out of a bad situation.

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CJ "siege" Bellwether @siege@masto.hackers.town · Mar 28, 2026

quietly discovering Football Manager added womens football leagues in the latest version.

they finally made lesbian management simulator?

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CJ "siege" Bellwether

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