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King Kaufman

@kingkaufman@sfba.social
mastodon 4.6.5
  • Open on sfba.social

I play music as The King Teen. See links. King Kaufman is my stage name for when I do the journalisms. Bio photo is a famous person who isn't me.

619 Followers
442 Following
22 Posts
Joined November 05, 2022
The King Teen Bandcamp:
https://thekingteen.bandcamp.com/album/us-ugly-guys-got-style
The King Teen IG:
https://www.instagram.com/kingteenmusic
The King Teen YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@kingteenmusic
The King Teen Bluesky:
https://bsky.app/profile/kingteenmusic.bsky.social

Posts

Open post
kingkaufman
King Kaufman @kingkaufman@sfba.social · Apr 29, 2026
King Kaufman
@kingkaufman@sfba.social

I play music as The King Teen. See links. King Kaufman is my stage name for when I do the journalisms. Bio photo is a famous person who isn't me.

sfba.social
Replying to @molly0xfff@hachyderm.io
@molly0xfff@hachyderm.io I used to write a sports column and when I offered analysis like that — on purpose, to say I had no idea what was going to happen — I'd always follow it up with "you can't get this kind of analysis just anywhere."
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kingkaufman
King Kaufman @kingkaufman@sfba.social · Dec 31, 2025
King Kaufman
@kingkaufman@sfba.social

I play music as The King Teen. See links. King Kaufman is my stage name for when I do the journalisms. Bio photo is a famous person who isn't me.

sfba.social

@shayman@cosocial.ca I've heard of Nardwuar the Human Serviette and I'm not even Canadian. I remember hearing about him when I worked in college radio, a situation that ended for me in 1988.

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kingkaufman
King Kaufman @kingkaufman@sfba.social · Nov 15, 2025
King Kaufman
@kingkaufman@sfba.social

I play music as The King Teen. See links. King Kaufman is my stage name for when I do the journalisms. Bio photo is a famous person who isn't me.

sfba.social

@atrupar@journa.host

Why does this kind of commentary always compare Trump's corruption to "other modern presidents"?

They never define when modernity starts, and never talk about what presidents in the "pre-modern" era were more corrupt and in what way. There must be such cases, or they'd just call Trump's corruption the worst in history. Whio are they and what did they do?

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kingkaufman
King Kaufman @kingkaufman@sfba.social · Nov 15, 2025
King Kaufman
@kingkaufman@sfba.social

I play music as The King Teen. See links. King Kaufman is my stage name for when I do the journalisms. Bio photo is a famous person who isn't me.

sfba.social

@ikonha@zeroes.ca

The people's terms of service will apply
When we're all L-U-I-G-I

New song "Luigi" coming soon follow here.

https://thekingteen.bandcamp.com

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kingkaufman
King Kaufman @kingkaufman@sfba.social · Nov 11, 2025
King Kaufman
@kingkaufman@sfba.social

I play music as The King Teen. See links. King Kaufman is my stage name for when I do the journalisms. Bio photo is a famous person who isn't me.

sfba.social

Dear Democrats,

Thank you for accepting our offer so enthusiastically but we have to suspend the program because we've run out of money.

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kingkaufman
King Kaufman @kingkaufman@sfba.social · Nov 11, 2025
King Kaufman
@kingkaufman@sfba.social

I play music as The King Teen. See links. King Kaufman is my stage name for when I do the journalisms. Bio photo is a famous person who isn't me.

sfba.social

Hi Mastodon. I heard you have quote posts now so I'm back.

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Open post
kingkaufman
King Kaufman @kingkaufman@sfba.social · Sep 25, 2025
King Kaufman
@kingkaufman@sfba.social

I play music as The King Teen. See links. King Kaufman is my stage name for when I do the journalisms. Bio photo is a famous person who isn't me.

sfba.social

It must be so strange to be Tylenol. You're just bopping along, doing your thing, fixing people's headaches or whatever, and then every few decades you catch a stray mortar round right in the teeth.

https://www.cnn.com/2025/09/25/politics/obama-trump-tylenol-autism

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kingkaufman
King Kaufman @kingkaufman@sfba.social · Aug 13, 2025
King Kaufman
@kingkaufman@sfba.social

I play music as The King Teen. See links. King Kaufman is my stage name for when I do the journalisms. Bio photo is a famous person who isn't me.

sfba.social

Is Taylor Swift's new album announcement really just a distraction from the distraction that's distracting us from the distraction that distracted us from the Epstein files, which are a distraction from the price of eggs?

Your browser does not support the video tag.
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kingkaufman
King Kaufman @kingkaufman@sfba.social · Aug 12, 2025
King Kaufman
@kingkaufman@sfba.social

I play music as The King Teen. See links. King Kaufman is my stage name for when I do the journalisms. Bio photo is a famous person who isn't me.

sfba.social

I would donate $5 to the Democratic Party AND sign a useless petition if Democrats would stop using the word "distraction."

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/live/2025/aug/12/donald-trump-washington-dc-national-guard-unsettling-mayor-us-politics-latest-updates-news

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kingkaufman
King Kaufman @kingkaufman@sfba.social · Aug 05, 2025
King Kaufman
@kingkaufman@sfba.social

I play music as The King Teen. See links. King Kaufman is my stage name for when I do the journalisms. Bio photo is a famous person who isn't me.

sfba.social

How come there's never a moral panic about something that's actually worth panicking over and fixing?

HOLY SHIT! Did you all realize like 35,000 Americans die of gunshot wounds every year? In most countries it's less than 1,000. In some it's less than 100. We've got to do something!!!

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kingkaufman
King Kaufman @kingkaufman@sfba.social · Aug 03, 2025
King Kaufman
@kingkaufman@sfba.social

I play music as The King Teen. See links. King Kaufman is my stage name for when I do the journalisms. Bio photo is a famous person who isn't me.

sfba.social

Transcript of NY Times editorial meeting:

Editor 1: Let's get someone from the Trump regime to write an "analysis" of how the tariffs are going.

Editor 2: Nah, let's just have our guy do it. It'll be the same.

Editor 1: Bet.

https://www.nytimes.com/2025/08/03/business/trump-tariffs-how-much-money-debt.html

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kingkaufman
King Kaufman @kingkaufman@sfba.social · Aug 03, 2025
King Kaufman
@kingkaufman@sfba.social

I play music as The King Teen. See links. King Kaufman is my stage name for when I do the journalisms. Bio photo is a famous person who isn't me.

sfba.social

@lawfare@mastodon.social

There is nothing less important in politics than facts.

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Open post
kingkaufman
King Kaufman @kingkaufman@sfba.social · Jul 29, 2025
King Kaufman
@kingkaufman@sfba.social

I play music as The King Teen. See links. King Kaufman is my stage name for when I do the journalisms. Bio photo is a famous person who isn't me.

sfba.social

(Actual photo of burial ground unavailable. Picture was taken outside a North Carolina DMV office on a hot day)

https://www.popularmechanics.com/science/archaeology/a65500416/tinshemet-cave-burial-ground/

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kingkaufman
King Kaufman @kingkaufman@sfba.social · Jul 27, 2025
King Kaufman
@kingkaufman@sfba.social

I play music as The King Teen. See links. King Kaufman is my stage name for when I do the journalisms. Bio photo is a famous person who isn't me.

sfba.social

@BigJackBrass@social.vivaldi.net More common than you'd think, at outlets that have dedicated obit departments and have advance obits for prominent people on file. I imagine this is a vanishing thing, but it was always a favorite pastime of mine to read those whenever I worked at a newspaper. I remember reading a Willie Mays obituary in the early '90s. He died in 2024.

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kingkaufman
King Kaufman @kingkaufman@sfba.social · Jul 13, 2025
King Kaufman
@kingkaufman@sfba.social

I play music as The King Teen. See links. King Kaufman is my stage name for when I do the journalisms. Bio photo is a famous person who isn't me.

sfba.social

@Dewines@toot.wales @baloo@sfba.social @futurebird@sauropods.win @waldoj@mastodon.social

A call from your bank IS a call from a scammer. Just a sanctioned one.

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Open post
kingkaufman
King Kaufman @kingkaufman@sfba.social · Jun 29, 2025
King Kaufman
@kingkaufman@sfba.social

I play music as The King Teen. See links. King Kaufman is my stage name for when I do the journalisms. Bio photo is a famous person who isn't me.

sfba.social

@bkahn@beige.party

I have no illusions about Republicans. I'm pretty sure their grip on power is going to result in my premature death. But I'd still take my chances with them over rule by cats.

Cats are just as ruthless, but they're smarter.

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kingkaufman
King Kaufman @kingkaufman@sfba.social · Oct 02, 2023
King Kaufman
@kingkaufman@sfba.social

I play music as The King Teen. See links. King Kaufman is my stage name for when I do the journalisms. Bio photo is a famous person who isn't me.

sfba.social

New York Attorney General Letitia James said in a short statement Monday morning, "My message is simple: No matter how powerful you are, no matter how much money you think you may have, no one is above the law."

No matter how much money YOU THINK YOU MAY HAVE, no one is above the law.

Chef's kiss.

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kingkaufman
King Kaufman @kingkaufman@sfba.social · Apr 30, 2023
King Kaufman
@kingkaufman@sfba.social

I play music as The King Teen. See links. King Kaufman is my stage name for when I do the journalisms. Bio photo is a famous person who isn't me.

sfba.social
To me, this is not satire. https://reductress.com/post/study-finds-joy-of-buying-lunch-outweighs-devastating-financial-consequences/
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kingkaufman
King Kaufman @kingkaufman@sfba.social · Apr 21, 2023
King Kaufman
@kingkaufman@sfba.social

I play music as The King Teen. See links. King Kaufman is my stage name for when I do the journalisms. Bio photo is a famous person who isn't me.

sfba.social
Replying to @docpop@mastodon.social
@docpop I've never heard of an advice book but if I ever see one I'll leave my best piece of advice in it. Don't use semicolons.
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kingkaufman
King Kaufman @kingkaufman@sfba.social · Mar 03, 2023
King Kaufman
@kingkaufman@sfba.social

I play music as The King Teen. See links. King Kaufman is my stage name for when I do the journalisms. Bio photo is a famous person who isn't me.

sfba.social
Replying to @barryzee@twit.social
@barryzee@twit.social @futurebird@sauropods.win @LadyDragonfly@universeodon.com How did the governor of Cali get involved here?
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kingkaufman
King Kaufman @kingkaufman@sfba.social · Feb 27, 2023
King Kaufman
@kingkaufman@sfba.social

I play music as The King Teen. See links. King Kaufman is my stage name for when I do the journalisms. Bio photo is a famous person who isn't me.

sfba.social
Replying to @maxkennerly@mstdn.social
@maxkennerly@mstdn.social When I worked at startups, even good viable ones, they'd say this: "We're offering you a $5,000 raise and 5,000 new stock options." I'd hear this: "We're offering you a $5,000 raise." Once it worked out and I got some money from stock options. I considered that gravy.
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kingkaufman
King Kaufman @kingkaufman@sfba.social · Feb 18, 2023
King Kaufman
@kingkaufman@sfba.social

I play music as The King Teen. See links. King Kaufman is my stage name for when I do the journalisms. Bio photo is a famous person who isn't me.

sfba.social
Replying to @bryanjclark@mastodon.social
@bryanjclark@mastodon.social The first time I saw Johnny Cash in person, at a county fair long before his late-career revival, when he walked out onstage I thought "I feel like I'm watching Abe Lincoln walk onstage." When Susan Kare visited the Salon office one day, the designers were feeling the same way, times a thousand. They breathlessly explained her significance to us non-visual types: "That's the woman who designed the Mac trash can icon."
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