@faithisleaping
I don’t want to be resilient.
I've had to do a lot of unpacking at this one. I'm close to someone who very much shares this sentiment, and I can certainly understand how much it hurts to hear things like "You're so resilient!" or "You're so brave!" or similar. Very often, the people saying these things frame those qualities are innate, which completely misses the point.
I've noticed that those of us who've had to be resilient tend to do a better job of acknowledging the pain that comes with "resilience." For me, that looks something like "You've been through so much, and you deserve space to recover from those things and to enjoy the things you want to enjoy." I very much do think the phrase "You're so resilient" can be a way to say "I see the suffering you've been through," but that sentiment is very easy to lose because the language focuses on the result.
Not sure if I have a particular point I'm trying to make here beyond "The concept of 'resilience' is complicated and difficult for most people to fully acknowledge."
…unfortunately, there’s very few people in my life who can actually hold all of those versions of me at the same time. [] And the way that I’ve found healing is by giving myself the space to be all of me, even the parts I don’t like. […] What I won’t do—what I’ll never do again—is lie to myself.
Taking these together, we get a really powerful definition of "living as ourselves." I acknowledge that most people are going to get a "projection" of me. The people I consider "close" are the ones who see more than that projection — who want to see more than that projection — and who don't shy away from the complexity that comes with.
Like @Willow said, 🔥🔥🔥
