ZDL

You don't even need to have men *looking* to be the centre of attention to have them become the centre of attention. Consider a guy who's a real ally: really wants to benefit women and enters a women's space to legit help. But note: being an ally doesn't mean being informed, and at least initially they rarely are. So they ask questions. And get answers. Which lead to more questions. Which lead to more answers. Until you're less than ten minutes with an allied man in a women's space and half the conversation is them and the other half in answering them. So even being well intentioned turns into the Good Intentions Paving Company.

The one most likely to be findable for you is the furu. If you have a Chinese/Asian grocer of any sort, they'll have it. Somewhere. Kept out of sight on a lower or upper shelf. Because a lot of people think it looks very suspicious.

It never dawned on me to mention soy sauce (also Shanxi aged vinegar) because those have the same status as "salt" in my cooking.😂

The proof of which can be found in the mod log for this very group, yes. Incredibly frustrating.

This is a rough one because there's so much entitlement that's buried deep in cultural assumptions that most people don't even consider to be worth examining.

Here's my shot at it: the unexamined expectation that women will absorb inconvenience—e.g. emotional, cognitive, and domestic labor—so men don’t have to.

It means women have to be ready to decode, manage, and soothe male emotions. It means women have to remember anniversaries, birthdays, plan celebrations and such. It means women work full time jobs and do the cleaning and laundry and such.

A close second would be the entitlement to be heard. Women will listen politely and attentively before being allowed to speak, and if at any point a man speaks, women are to shut up and listen again. You can see this dynamic in this very group with the number of people who can't read some perfectly clear text:

Women only...

This is me predicting we're going to get a lot of that in this thread.

I just scrolled through the mod log (for a reminder of why rule #1 exists) and I stumbled over this:

Reason: Man who requested banning.

A man thought he was entitled to women doing the work to ban him from the community because he lacked the self-control to not comment in it.

Think about that for a second.

Women have to be this man's self-control because he can't do either of:

• exercising self-control and not posting
• doing the simple task of blocking the group himself

THIS is male entitlement in a nutshell.

Trust your gut. If s/he is making you feel uncomfortable, even if you can't point to specifically what is wrong, if the final gut check says something is wrong, something is wrong. Get out.

You had me at the seagull. What a fucking idiotic book.

Is that the seagull dude?

In her 1925 Radcliffe College thesis, Cecilia Payne ...

...calculated that stars are overwhelmingly hydrogen and helium. A senior astronomer talked her into calling her own result "almost certainly not real." Four years later, he published the same conclusion under his own name

This is a story that should be taught to all girls from junior middle school onward. A woman makes a discovery, is gaslit by a man into denying it, then has that discovery and credit stolen from her by the very man who gaslit her.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

They're not "hairy young women". They're "young women". Hair is a natural part of human beings, men or women. Frame this properly: the fall of unnaturally smooth women.

It's called "The Matilda Effect" and is a well-studied phenomenon in science, unfortunately. But science is a pure meritocracy that in no way, shape, or form discriminates on race or gender.

Any woman in my *Kick-Ass Women from History* series past or future. Mostly I would probably just wind up being a drooling idiot, trying and failing to be cool around them.

This is a very principled stance, but it's also a very career-limiting one. Your coworkers (and, worse, bosses) hate people who tell them "mind your own business" (no matter how politely said).

Especially crone to maiden wisdom. (I'm the crone.)

Dude. This here marks the THIRD TIME you've been pointed at the rules. Read the rules. Follow the rules. It's not that hard.

Huh. From that first group, when I saw it crossing my awareness, I'd assumed it was a bunch of MRA weenies and passed it by. I'm happy to be completely wrong.

Well it was this date at a communist rally where ... OK, I know my way out. No need to handle me roughly!

Who?

The power to reset the universe and start it all over again until it learns to do things right.

Wrong tense, Kaptain Ketamine.

I literally ~~was~~ am a fool.

Fixed that for you.