🍉 Albert 🍉

it also doesn't say you aren't allowed to murder babies, but some basic things are universally evil, like impersonating a rodent

we're you banned for lying about being a Gerbil?

irl? did a mod walk to your house and hand you ban papers?

I mentioned somewhere here that I consider putting such expectations on someone unethical. If my partner has an affair they would tell me and I would be happy for her or neutral, but if they were hiding it, and lying then there was no really a relationship to begin with, just a lie that should end sooner than later. And in another thread, I said that the social punishment for people who cheat is too severe, often being social isolation. For an infraction I would personally consider as bad as cheating on a diet. For something that causes no harm to anyone.

Beggars can't be choosers.

Sadly, my DMs remain vulva free. my scheme for free vulva pictures failed :(

Social punishment for cheating, is often social isolation. I don't think a minor victimless infraction warrant said punishment. And the fact that there's another person who has the right to consent on your own body sounds very iffy. Also, we treat "monogamy" as a natural thing. it isn't. if it was, there would be no divorces, breakups, or affairs. Also the state and religions push monogamy as the upmost important relationship in someone's life, rather than community, which atomises people and destroys communities with the modern invention of "nuclear family". where evey need is comodified rather than being provided by a community.

Earthquakes come when people keep rubbing that mountain

it's not funny. mine said it went to buy cigarettes and has not come back, I can't find it :(

yhea, it doesn't exist, what are snowflakes gonna do, dm me pictures of their's to prove me wrong? they would if it was real

me: I think slavery is bad because it unfairly controls other people You: you are the unethical one. trying to control what other people do with lives not a serious answer, doesn't warrant a serious response. instead of pointing why my grievances with monogamy are wrong, (mentioned repeatedly in many of the threads that spawn here), you just made up a bs reason why any moral standards is unethical.

it’s not a problem if it hurts those people more.

English is in part ancient Celtic, but ask any English speaker and they'll tell you they don't speak Celtic. therefore English doesn't have Celtic influences... yhea, that is why cheating and breakups are so rare in monogamous relationships.

oh no, the horrors, I changed my perspective and goals though a conversation with multiple people! I guess I better get banned.

Have fun paying an infinite divergent sum for a footlong. I literally got some spare change with my free footlong.

Have fun paying an infinite divergent sum for a footlong. I literally got some spare change with my free footlong.

yhea, rather than just wait, he can do chores.

as far as shows with literal fart based plots. this one's the best

anyways, it's good, and if you are in a sensitive place, it might make you feel seen and help you. just know my DMs are open.

mate. feel free to DM me if you need to after that episode

however you watch it, enjoy it. ::: spoiler not really a spoiler but make sure you are in a good place and close to good company for s01e08. :::

definitely an outlayer. give it a watch.

you mean calling 48 times? agree, a text message is enough.

I still think that "cheating" is not a big deal. I've never cheated in my monogamous relationships, but still, although saying that is just bullshit virtue signaling. I think my opinions should have the same weight even if I was a cheating whore. I actually appreciate the engagement, I'm not a troll, and don't try to rage bait. but it resulted in quite a lot of fruitful and interesting conversations.

me and my partner are open about who goes on dates with whom. not for a sense of control, or even trust, just because we like each other and are interested in each other's lives. And if they completely forget to tell me, not a big deal. she is not my property, I'm just happy to share time with her whenever she wants to be with me. Just like friends, you don't tell your friends when you hang out with another friend and what you do with them. you might if it is relevant to the conversation or they might care. but witholding that information isn't lying by omission. all those rules you are bringing up, aren't rules you and your partner decided, those are default social rules enforced by religions and the state and comes from medieval property laws. you should sit with your partner and decide what your relationship should look like. even if neither of you want other partners, having that conversation and critically questioning monogamy would be a healthy conversation.

Damn, I'm willing to talk, been honest in all the threads that this conversation has spawned. I get that it is an unpopular opinion, but still. not like I insulted you. I even made sure to clarify that it wasn't a troll opinion, because I value honesty.

sopuli.xyz/post/44037170

there are some coerciveness in the fact that monogamy is the expected relationship, enforced by religions, families, and states. and as a normarive thing, it should at least bw questioned, even if you agree with it. like murder is bad, that is a normarive statement enforced by religions and states. but questining it, I have to agree, murder IS bad. and guess what. if you disagree with me, (this is a conversation not a debate but indulge me the following statement) I'll call it a win if you just question it, even if you don't change your mind.

counter argument. you already have multiple relationships. besides your romantic/sexual partner. you likely have many friendships relationships, many familial relationships, professional relationships... you are the one who defines which ones are more important and which ones you treasure. your desicion you make with one friend likely has no consequence on other relationships. All that complicated logic should in theory apply to all those relationships as well, but it does not. if you live with 2 partners and need to sell the house, then that conversation would involve A, B and C, but if it's about driving B to the airport, C doesn't really need to be involved. same way if you order a pizza with your coworkers you don't need to consult your brother, as it doesn't involve them. Instinctually you already do that. Also, personally, I think hierarchical poly is a bit iffy. every relationship has its worth in itself and no one is above anyone else.

Humans can't control what they feel, you cannot agree to not develop feelings or interests on other people, doing so is inherently dishonest, not to your partner but to yourself. and expecting it from your partner is equally unfair. yes, two people can agree that they expect all their romantic and sexual needs to come from within the couple and promise not to engage romantically or sexually with other people. But if it wasn't because it is the social norm, that would seem a strange and ridiculous expectation.

this isn't a debate, just a conversation. I have no expectation for anyone to change their minds. if I have any goal, is that everyone should question the rules and norms we inherited from our societies. even if you agree with them, it's important to question. and monogamy in particular, is one of those norms most people just passively accept without thinking about it. If you agree with it, go ahead, but it's important to take a moment and question it.

It's important to question every rule and norm we inherited in our society, even if you end up agreeing with them, it's still paramount to question them.

open and honest communication is key in every relationship, from just friends and aquintances to romantic/sexual partners. Why do you think its hard to make those relationships ethical? you say it isn't impossible but still consier them inherently difficult to do so ethically?

it's called a conversation, I just said it. I said it's unethical, I'm asked to elaborate, I elaborate. it isn't my substack where I write an essay and that's it. I do consider it unethical. but thanks to a conversation, we can clarify each other. sorry if it sounded rage baity. also. this is a conversation, not a debate. my goal is that if you walk away, you can at least understand where I come from. I have no intention that anyone reading this will seek a divorce and join a polycule. although I do think realizing that relationships can be whatever people want them to be is something everyone should be aware of. I know vibe doesn't transfer though text. but I hope this conversation is more like having a chat with someone at a cafe. rather than online vitriol.

still agree with that. it's a stupid standard that hurts and shackles people rather than help them so many loving relationships are torn because an affair, even an emotional one, even if one partner does noting but just develops feelings (100% out of their control), or worse, jealousy. all because monogamy is the standard. ask elder people who were married through most of their lives and they all have stories of those hardships and how it hurt them. wouldn't it be nicer and simpler of cheating was viewed with the same severity as cheating in a diet? rather than being a devastating blow to a relationship and might even lead to severe social punishment? We are animals we need connections and we aren't always in control regarding what connections form.

the unethical bit is that is it the social expectation and default, pushed by states and religions. so much so that the alternative has to include "ethical" in the name. why? why is polygamy considered inherently unethical? because the state and churches push monogamy as the acceptable form of relationships. Also, I get how going against the mainstream might be indistinguishable from rage baiting. however, that is not my intention. I am open about my views, and if anyone engages I'll reply as honestly as I can. and for the most part, I assume whoever I'm talking to has good will. I know this topic is something most people have never considered, or at least took a serious critical take on it. And I get is unpopular. Especially the "relationship anarchy" view on cheating.

you've never been in an abusive relationship and it shows. Ideally no one should ever be in one. I hope it's ok if I copy pase a reply I did to someone else, but I'm getting a lot of replies and there's no point in writing the same thing twice: I would never agree to those terms, so they don't apply to me. the problem is that society, states, and religion pushes those standards as if they are the only correct form of relationships. they are arbitrary rules based on ancient forms of control, where women were seen as free household labor and baby factories.

I would never agree to those terms, so they don't apply to me. the problem is that society, states, and religion pushes those standards as if they are the only correct form of relationships. they are arbitrary rules based on ancient forms of control, where women were seen as free household labor and baby factories.

it holds up sober too.

If you have a relationship with someone who doesn't care about STDs or pregnancy scares, then that's on you, don't have irresponsible partners. yhea, what they did is stupid and dangerous, but it only affects you if you concent to be with them. if they lie about it, that's another problem, and I would consider it as them raping you as you did not have informed concent. We use protection with strangers and test every 3 months. byw, I talk about poly, but I personally only have bandwidth for one person, she has her dates, and I'm happy for her. and I have my heart open form other people if they appear magically in my house but I'm not actively looking for more partners. When she took a break from dating I jokes that were acidentally monogamous.

?

I appreciate you reply. First of all, monogamy is based on old property laws, on normarivity, and enforced by states/religions. that alone should be a red flag (not inherently wrong though). I just think that relationships are only the matter of the people within it. Boundaries are okay, but shouldn't be used to control people. I might have a boundary against eating pork, and it would be unethical and a severe breach of trust if my partner cooked pork and served it to me without telling me that it is pork. however, I can't impose a boundary on them not eating pork. if I was severely allergic and it is a health concern, I can envision a "no pork at home" rule. but if my boundary is "You cannot have it" then that isn't a boundary, that's control. If my partner has bacon in a bruch with their friends, she isn't breaking a boundary of mine I am not involved in there. I hope that at least clarifies my view. and that is besides the baggage that monogamous relationships come with pre build expectations and are assumed to be to "correct" form by states and society. BTW, I also disagree with many issues that comes with ENM, and I personally side with relationship anarchy. which is an alternative poly philosophy. They do have some interest concepts, like the relationship smorgasbord, where partners get yo define what their relationship should be like, rather than accepting the societal standards.

All relationships are unique, and there are no (there are, but there shouldn't be) guidelines on what makes a relationship real or not. I have bad cPTSD from a previous DV relationship and I get nightmarish flashback episodes when I get in romantic relationships, so me and my partners agreed that I'm not able to have romantic relationships. so our relationship is defined by what we agreed on (look into "relationship smorgasbord"), we have intimacy, because human to human touch and affection is something I need regularly and she does too. and I encourage her to find the romantic affection with other partners. overall it's a healthy relationship based on trust communication and care. the notion of only one acceptable form of relationship is so primitive, based on medieval property rights and religion. build you own relationships however you want/need/able. ps: this school of thought isnt Ethical non-monogamy, but "relationship anarchy".

Yhea, kind of bullshit society still bases relationships on medieval property right.

Damn, had no idea how unpopular that opinion was. I expect it to be unpopular, just not universally so. still, I will die in this hill. Suggest people to check out "relationship anarchy". And I will be open about it, so absolutely no one who wants monogamous relationship ends up with me, I wouldn't want to hurt anyone.

that's what I practice and am open about it. I hate those who say they are poly as an excuse after being caught cheating. Not because of the cheating itself, but because they lied to get with someone they knew won't want that. Therefore the cheated partner had no informed consent. And I'm not sure this is a mainstream view. but I consider informed consent as consent, and therefore no informed consent is rape. Someone who lies about who they are to have sex is a rapist, just using conman tricks instead of drugs or force. And should be seen by society as such.

One of the few "kids" shows who treated their audience with upmost respect, never talked down to the audience, and knew that kids are able to see and understand heavy topics. the suicide episode still haunts me on how incredibly good it was. Yes, I will die on the hill that a show about farting animals is genuinely a must watch for everyone.

i find such rule to be inherently controlling and coercive. and used to punish abused and neglected partners who find affection elsewhere but can't leave their relationship due to coersion or fear of homelessness. Cheating like that should be like "we agreed were both in a diet, but I had a donut that someone brought to the office", not "you are inherently a horrible human being who deserves to be shamed and hated for seeking human connection".

sadly, not a shitpost, I see monogamy as unethical. relationships aren't sports, aren't property, you cannot "cheat" to win, it makes no sense. lying is a problem. if my partner came from a conference and told me she got railed by half the conference attendants I'll be glad she enjoyed herself. and if she wouldn't trust me to tell the truth it means there was no relationship to begin with as there's no trust. no idea why most people are obsessed with controlling their partners genitals.