When women have a crush on men
2026-03-08 20:19 UTC
Replies (30)
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@Taco2112@lemmy.world 2026-03-08 20:53
I feel seen. Been with my partner for over 10 years and I feel the same way as the dad in this text exchange.
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@Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 2026-03-08 21:06
We typically have no idea unless explicitly told, no.
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@yermaw@sh.itjust.works 2026-03-08 21:10
A lot of the time we do know, but we’re terrified of getting it wrong and getting rejected and maybe worse.
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@espentan@lemmy.world 2026-03-08 21:20
I was at some fast food joint with a buddy and his girlfriend, and after ordering my friend’s girlfriend told me the cashier was so flirting with me. Me and my friend: What? She was? How so?
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@Signtist@bookwyr.me 2026-03-08 21:47
A girl told me in 8th grade that she knew I liked her, and was cool with it. I thought she was nice for not being creeped out that I liked her, until one day on college when I finally realized what she meant.
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@Broadfern@lemmy.world 2026-03-08 22:01
The only way a person can definitely know what’s going on in your head is by telling them with your words. Dad might be anxious though, lol. “I do” usually means informed consent 😂
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@jqubed@lemmy.world 2026-03-08 22:27
I have only ever been able to tell when it was someone I did not want to have a crush on me, someone I was definitely not interested in. If it was a woman I was interested in, or even someone not on my radar but that I probably would’ve seen how things went had I known she was interested in me, I have not figured it out until years later, if ever. My now-wife had to come right out and tell me she was interested. I would not be surprised to find out there were people I’d completely missed hints from decades ago.
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@Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2026-03-08 23:22
This feels like “haha men stupid” and I dont like it.
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@umbrella@lemmy.ml 2026-03-08 23:51
tell us
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@sundray@lemmus.org 2026-03-09 00:21
She’s just being polite.
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@Maestro@fedia.io 2026-03-09 00:17
Aside from a lot of guys being thickheaded and not seeing it, there's also selection bias. A) A girl has a crush on a guy. He notices but plays it safe. Maybe she's just friendly. Result: no harm done except perpetuating the myth that guys don't notice. B) A girl is just friendly but the guy thinks he's being crushed on and acts on it. Now he's forever labeled as a creep. The only safe play as a guy is always, always assuming she's just being friendly. Unless she comes right out and says she wants to hump your bones, just assume she's being nice to you.
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@glitchdx@lemmy.world 2026-03-09 00:48
If you want to know why men with basic decency are so oblivious, head on over to the womens stuff community and see how many posts boil down to “all men are rapists”. I’m friends with several real life women, and most of them hold that same opinion and have damn good reasons for it (“Except you glitch, you’re one of the good ones”). More than one have expressed to me that they hate being straight because they’ve never dated a man who hasn’t taken advantage of them. So yeah, I’m not making a move on a lady, well mostly because I’m gay, but even if I wasn’t I wouldn’t unless she explicitly asked for it. (I’d also have to run it by my boyfriend, and ask if she wanted a threesome with us, but that’s another topic.)
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@IEatDaFeesh@lemmy.world 2026-03-09 00:52
When women can’t communicate and frustrate themselves.
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@AzuranAurora@piefed.ca 2026-03-09 01:21
Communication from everyone involved would do wonders!
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@jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 2026-03-09 05:05
This makes me think of a conversation between my wife and daughter a while back. Daughter is angry with her BF and frustrated that he seems oblivious to that Wife: “Oh honey, no. It doesn’t work like that. If I’m mad at your dad for something I just have to tell him. If he asks if I’m OK and I say, ‘I’m fine’, he takes that at face value. He’s a very literal.” Daughter: “Ugh. Doesn’t that frustrate you?” Wife: “It was weird at first but once you get used to it it’s actually really nice. You just have to learn to talk to him.” Me: “Wait, I did something right?” Wife: “You do lots of things right babe.” Yeah, I think she likes me.
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@altphoto__dup_9302@lemmy.today 2026-03-09 05:16
Same here. The guy speaks truth.
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@vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 2026-03-09 06:13
Y’know I’m glad I am aromantic, emotionally insular, and paranoid as fuck. Makes my dumbass not even have to factor this shit together, was she flirting with me quickly turns into I don’t care. Though I will say having sex would probably be nice, but I’m also hypersexual and autistic so it’s almost guaranteed id probably fuck it up and go too far.
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@ZILtoid1991__dup_9952@lemmy.world 2026-03-09 10:13
Oki Doki Boomer
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@ICastFist@programming.dev 2026-03-09 11:01
Why are women even taught/expected to behave like sneaky spies when it comes to romance?
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@ParlimentOfDoom@piefed.zip 2026-03-09 13:06
We can, we just don’t want to reveal our telepathic abilities. Shhhhh
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@bitjunkie@lemmy.world 2026-03-09 13:34
Hint all you want, the decent among us will still be terrified of looking creepy. Just tell us!
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@reksas@sopuli.xyz 2026-03-09 13:55
men are discouraged from approaching women and women dont want to show their interest in clear way. How have we not gone extinct yet?
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@unruheherd@lemmy.zip 2026-03-09 16:05
During college I got asked out by a few women as a man and I appreciate the initiative! Be it woman or man, asking someone out is never easy because you’ll make yourself vulnerable to rejection. So ask friendly and politely for a meeting in a safe space like a cafe and make it easy for the other person to decline and save their face if they have no interest. The other way around, turn others down with respect to their effort of making themselves vulnerable (‘I am flattered by your offer but I have other plans for that evening’ or something). I have asked out a few women and got rejected some times. But with the ones who said yes I have spent years of great relationships, some of which even have turned into friendships. And I got to spend years with girls who I thought were way out of my league. But it turns out we’re all just people and they were also happy that someone asked them out! Not all of the dating world is hostile and there are still women and men out there with a good heart. Don’t try too hard, get yourself out there in clubs or sports and go to parties occasionally. I have never used a dating platform and yet I had the pleasure to spend quality time with many wonderful people. In an ideal society, we would just go and ask the person we adore out, no matter what gender or social framing we have. And even if the person asking you out is definitely not your type, don’t let them feel bad - make them feel good about asking, boost their confidence.
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@Slovene@feddit.nl 2026-03-09 16:10
Like is a strong word. Let’s say she’s used to you.
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@Janx@piefed.social 2026-03-09 16:46
Women are like cats. They rub on you, climb on you, try to be near you, sigh when they’re next to you, and we’re like “I think she’s just being friendly”. Also, I just told on myself that I don’t have a girlfriend because I compared women to cats…
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@Icytrees@sh.itjust.works 2026-03-09 20:02
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@nile_istic@lemmy.world 2026-03-09 20:33
Damn the incels turned OUT for this post lmao
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@minorkeys@lemmy.world 2026-03-09 23:01
Women invent entire dating and communication games with each other and a small group of desirable men. Then they act surprised when men who weren’t invited or weren’t interested to learn those games, don’t understand how to play them. Then they, of course, blame men for their own failure to acknowledge not everyone played the same games. Afterall, the way they live is ‘normal’ and ‘correct’, anything else is weird and wrong and should be shunned.
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@Haunt@thelemmy.club 2026-03-10 14:17
I can always tell when someone wants to get in my pants (danger signals I developed as a young girl), but I can never tell when someone genuinely likes me.
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@pr0sp3kt@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2026-03-10 15:39
I’m sorry but this is not what makes me laugh. I think this is what is broken in the relationships. I mean why women has to be the passive role every single time? It’s like im not ugly, and actually when I talk with them It goes well. My critic is why I have to start every single fckng time?