Post #4333545

2026-08-02 16:22 UTC

Okay. So when I was a teen, my dysphoria was VAST. Especially about my then-bits. I didn't like anything about them. I didn't like touching them, and I sure as fuck didn't want anyone else touching them. So I became, not knowing the word, effectively a stone butch. For those with less experience in the community, to be "stone" is to set a firm boundary that I touch you, you don't touch me (sexually). As you can quickly imagine, this was a popular stance with teenage girls. And being the kind who talk to one another about things, word spread among the girls that this was my behaviour, and that multiple girls had experienced that it was good and just as advertised. So I never lacked for girlfriends. Not til I transitioned did I spend any time without a partner for three months in a row. From 13 to 26. Constantly. So I did a lot of sex with a lot of girls (of my own age or very close to it, to be clear). Mostly girls. There was some experimentation, but boys who wanted me wanted all of me, and for me to be masc with them. Nah. I used to have a sort of party trick I would work. I'd offer that any girl/woman who wanted, I would bet them 20 dollars I could make them have an orgasm without touching anything their bikini would cover. No boobs, no bits, no butts. Just erogenous zones elsewhere. We'd go somewhere private, and she'd come back flushed and sweaty and make a show of handing over the 20. I never lost that bet. I never collected, either, since the money wasn't the point. :D Okay, so that's set. That's who I was, until I had surgery, basically. I had a long-term partner in there, J, whom I was with from 28 to 40, raising her kids with her. But until surgery, fully stone. Fastforward to surgery. Had it. Loved it. Didn't even hurt much. But afterwards, I became a complete SLAG. I would fuck anyone who wanted, basically, boys, girls, rainbow bouquets, whatever gender. 2/3

Replies (2)

@CharlotteEowyn@chaosfem.tw 2026-08-02 18:22

@oldladyplays@wargamers.social as someone struggling with the concept of aging this is really.... Powerful to read, thank you.

Open ##4333544
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social 2026-08-02 16:32

Back to this year. Michael and I are coming up on three years together, but this was the first time he'd played stone to me. And about halfway through, it suddenly clicked for me: he was me. He was doing to me, the very same thing, with the very same results, to my body, as I had done to so many other girls and women before. I had a shattering response to that. Body-breaking. Biggest I've ever had. Because, I now realise, I'd broken through the last wall (at least I think so? I got another decade or three to go, so who knows?). I now could see myself in every possible way as a woman. There was no piece of me left that spoke masc. It was all gone. If Michael was able to use my own party trick on me, then I was, without doubt now, as girl as anyone I'd ever made love to. And since then, the feeling has grown more all-encompassing. The little hitch in my breath when I said something like "I'm a woman" is gone. The hesitation. The nagging worry at the back of my head. They're all gone. I didn't even know those were still there. They'd become so old and ingrained that I just thought that's how I was. But I'm not. I just needed to discover Level 61. I genuinely thought I was maxed out. My character complete. Game over, I won. And now I find out...I get to live the next however-many years being completely and utterly certain and unshakeable in my identity. I have never used a strap-on. It felt too masc, threatening to my womanhood. Now? BRING IT. It cannot dent my certainty. Call me the wrong pronouns? I don't even need to correct you. It doesn't matter. I know who I am. Your opinion is irrelevant now, bad pronoun person. I *think* level 61 is just a free roam, open world, nothing can harm your place. You did it. It's finished. Move on and enjoy. So that's what I'm doing. With the best boyfriend EVER, Michael, my Prince, my deepest love. Still polyam, tho. If you care. 3/3

Open ##4369288