Post #4369288

2026-08-02 16:32 UTC

Back to this year. Michael and I are coming up on three years together, but this was the first time he'd played stone to me. And about halfway through, it suddenly clicked for me: he was me. He was doing to me, the very same thing, with the very same results, to my body, as I had done to so many other girls and women before. I had a shattering response to that. Body-breaking. Biggest I've ever had. Because, I now realise, I'd broken through the last wall (at least I think so? I got another decade or three to go, so who knows?). I now could see myself in every possible way as a woman. There was no piece of me left that spoke masc. It was all gone. If Michael was able to use my own party trick on me, then I was, without doubt now, as girl as anyone I'd ever made love to. And since then, the feeling has grown more all-encompassing. The little hitch in my breath when I said something like "I'm a woman" is gone. The hesitation. The nagging worry at the back of my head. They're all gone. I didn't even know those were still there. They'd become so old and ingrained that I just thought that's how I was. But I'm not. I just needed to discover Level 61. I genuinely thought I was maxed out. My character complete. Game over, I won. And now I find out...I get to live the next however-many years being completely and utterly certain and unshakeable in my identity. I have never used a strap-on. It felt too masc, threatening to my womanhood. Now? BRING IT. It cannot dent my certainty. Call me the wrong pronouns? I don't even need to correct you. It doesn't matter. I know who I am. Your opinion is irrelevant now, bad pronoun person. I *think* level 61 is just a free roam, open world, nothing can harm your place. You did it. It's finished. Move on and enjoy. So that's what I'm doing. With the best boyfriend EVER, Michael, my Prince, my deepest love. Still polyam, tho. If you care. 3/3

Replies (3)

@oldladyplays@wargamers.social 2026-08-02 23:36

Per a reconmendation, I'm tagging this as #TransJoy, to put some more eyes on the trio of posts above it. And just plain #Trans too. The first one is this: https://wargamers.social/@oldladyplays/117026790454562246 The language is a bit sweary, not hugely. And I do mention sex, but generally not graphically, just its existence and different queer expressions of it. The topic is about aging while trans, and feeling like the Voyage of the Dawn Treader for the community in some ways. I like to report back on the journey as it went for me, and hope it helps someone else find a path that makes them happy. Feel free to boost it anywhere you like. No need to scrub the name, as usual for me. I consent to it being shown to anyone who's interested. It's the experience of n=1 binary trans woman. Your experience may vary (almost certainly). Take once daily to increase hope. Hope not guaranteed to come true. The creator assumes no responsibility for hope not found to be increased. But she sure hopes it helps. Take it for what you paid for it. :) (Brief bio of trans: knew 08/70; learned name of condition 05/79; resolved to transition 05/79; transitioned 11/92; HRT DIY 03/95, HRT official 11/95; bottom surgery 09/04. Activism: all the damn way through.)

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@aizuchi@hachyderm.io 2026-08-02 16:42

@oldladyplays@wargamers.social This is so inspirational and beautiful! I love that you are meeting yourself more and more every day 🥰 I’ve had a few “so THIS is who i am!” moments, but they’ve always been from me sitting with my own head, body, and desires. I love how hot i can get with my thoughts alone. Ngl though, I’d probably cry if i find someone masc who could/would do that party trick on me. That seems inconceivable.

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@staringatclouds@mstdn.social 2026-08-02 21:21

@oldladyplays@wargamers.social 🫂🥲

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