Post #4333543

2026-08-02 16:11 UTC

Something happened to me recently that I've never heard of happening to another trans woman. Doesn't mean it hasn't happened, just that maybe whomever it was doesn't write much. But I do. So. For many years, I'd say my confidence about my womanhood ran at 100%. It's been way more than half my life now, and I'm 60, so that's a nice little pile of years. I recently discovered that it hadn't been, all along. I found this out by having it suddenly increase considerably in the last couple of months. Many of you know about my incredible relationship with Michael, my first serious T4T relationship, which, sadly, has ruined me for cis dates forever. Oh well. Michael and I are really compatible, he trans masc and toppy, and me trans femme and subby. Michael's biggest effect on me (but far from the only) has been his intense desire for me physically. His open lust when he looks at my body has...in recent months, it's changed me. I've started to become...flirty. I dance sexy for him, taking my clothes off. I've started, in other words, to believe him. That I *am* hot. That my girlness is plenty for someone to find desirable. That last bit was the key that unlocked this, I think. I finally began to believe, in myself, for myself, that I was worthy of being desired. That someone could look at me, or know me, and want to play with my bits. And I LOVE my bits. Surgery was my second-best decision EVER (transition's still #1). I think this came about because of a particular session we had. We started slow, just him roaming my body with his hands. Touching me all over, but focusing away from my sexual characteristics, as it were. Just enjoying my body, its softness, its responsiveness, its signs of excitement. And I suddenly realised...OMG. We've flipped the script. We need to go back to teenagehood to see how. 1/3? (I think?)

Replies (2)

@oldladyplays@wargamers.social 2026-08-02 16:22

Okay. So when I was a teen, my dysphoria was VAST. Especially about my then-bits. I didn't like anything about them. I didn't like touching them, and I sure as fuck didn't want anyone else touching them. So I became, not knowing the word, effectively a stone butch. For those with less experience in the community, to be "stone" is to set a firm boundary that I touch you, you don't touch me (sexually). As you can quickly imagine, this was a popular stance with teenage girls. And being the kind who talk to one another about things, word spread among the girls that this was my behaviour, and that multiple girls had experienced that it was good and just as advertised. So I never lacked for girlfriends. Not til I transitioned did I spend any time without a partner for three months in a row. From 13 to 26. Constantly. So I did a lot of sex with a lot of girls (of my own age or very close to it, to be clear). Mostly girls. There was some experimentation, but boys who wanted me wanted all of me, and for me to be masc with them. Nah. I used to have a sort of party trick I would work. I'd offer that any girl/woman who wanted, I would bet them 20 dollars I could make them have an orgasm without touching anything their bikini would cover. No boobs, no bits, no butts. Just erogenous zones elsewhere. We'd go somewhere private, and she'd come back flushed and sweaty and make a show of handing over the 20. I never lost that bet. I never collected, either, since the money wasn't the point. :D Okay, so that's set. That's who I was, until I had surgery, basically. I had a long-term partner in there, J, whom I was with from 28 to 40, raising her kids with her. But until surgery, fully stone. Fastforward to surgery. Had it. Loved it. Didn't even hurt much. But afterwards, I became a complete SLAG. I would fuck anyone who wanted, basically, boys, girls, rainbow bouquets, whatever gender. 2/3

Open ##4333545
@davidnjoku@mastodon.world 2026-08-03 06:21

@oldladyplays@wargamers.social This makes me so so happy for you. ♥️

Open ##4402485