Post #3498309

@hollie@social.coop I saw a *ton* of this sort of silence in my early coming out/transition from friends that I'd established before those things. It took me a while to dig through my feelings about that, especially because I had a sense that I might have reacted similarly a few years prior. I've taken to calling this a form of "implicit transphobia." Using the word "transphobia" seems sort of harsh for such a muted reaction, but as you mentioned, this reaction comes from a place of *fear*. I think there are tons of folks out there who expect transphobia to look like hate and to be obvious, but "phobia" is right there in the word. The majority of the time, I think this fear comes from the fact that you (the person coming to grips with interesting gender feelings) are bucking a lot of the scripts they've come to rely on for their interactions with you. Suddenly, some or all of those scripts may not apply, and that feels *scary* to folks who've never considered the possibility of working/existing outside of them. All of that is to say, I appreciate your call to action. It's something I've thought about a ton since coming out, and it's part of why I make such an intentional effort to be visibly queer and talk about my story. The more I can normalize it, and support others in a similar situation, the less scary it becomes for everyone — the "phobia" starts to fade into the sort of curiosity you described.