Post #132188
2026-01-14 16:05 UTC
Replies (31)
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@mushroomman_toad@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2026-01-14 16:38
The apps are literally designed to keep you single
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@unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 2026-01-14 16:37
Even funnier with the timestamps
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@Manticore@lemmy.nz 2026-01-15 03:35
Tbf she made zero effort to converse with OOP either
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@halfsalesman@piefed.social 2026-01-14 17:18
The issue isn't talking to women. The issue is talking to people you are attracted to. I'm bi but I'm not attracted *everyone*. And I can tell you it takes a lot more from me to talk to someone I'm attracted to and I don't think I could easily just be normal friends with someone I badly want to fuck and just have normal conversations with them.
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@SillyDude@lemmy.zip 2026-01-14 18:30
You may entice a woman with a piece of cheese. If she accepts you may then ask her to wed you.
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@chunes@lemmy.world 2026-01-15 06:28
The fundamental issue here is that they call this dating when it's something else entirely. They should have made a new name for it when it became like sifting through resumes.
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@TheRealKuni@piefed.social 2026-01-14 16:53
Women are literally just people. Talk to them like you talk to other people.
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@Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 2026-01-14 20:46
It's sad things like this that make me think, it's too bad church is all fucked up with religion. Because "Entire families, plus any single individuals, get washed and dressed up, then join under the stained-glass windows to sit and stand and sing and go through the motions, while all the eligible sweeties pretend they're not checking out all the other eligible sweeties, and have a whole hour to think of something to say to them over the coffee and cookies afterwards. Repeat weekly" is pretty much how a lot of people found partners for generations. Especially those whose families couldn't afford ballrooms and country clubs.
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@UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 2026-01-14 22:33
Had a couple of lady friends who went on vacation to Europe - Spain and France, specifically - and had totally different experiences on the dating apps. Men were open and friendly, knew how to hold up a conversation (in non-native languages!), showed politeness, responded quickly, made first contact easy and low-anxiety, looked good, smelled nice, knew how to dance, charmed the panties right off them both, and then *kept in contact afterwards*. Like, even after they flew back home, these guys were still saying "Hey, what's up, here's something cool happening in my neighborhood can't wait to see you again". Just a radically different experience than the American dating scene. One friend straight up swore off American men entirely. She's booking a flight back to France for a three month go - working remote, learning the language, the whole thing - because of how blown away by the healthier and happier social conditions over there.
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@robocall@lemmy.world 2026-01-15 04:24
That guy is a keeper! Lock him down and he'll be loyal for life! He doesn't even know how to talk to other women!!
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@toxicbubble@lemmy.world 2026-01-14 18:00
bumble was designed so women could message first. the messages: "hey"
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@Xenny@lemmy.world 2026-01-15 07:28
...she even....she even opened
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@Siethron@lemmy.world 2026-01-15 15:50
As a cishet man who isn't passionate about hyping himself up and gets burnt out socially easily... No one on dating apps is worth the effort required to overcome the illusion of comparison. We don't know you and we're not going become infatuated over what you can put in a profile. At most our interest will be piqued, but we know we have to compete with HUNDREDS of other dudes and ...ehhhhh. To put it another way if I was at a party and there was a beautiful girl surrounded by 10 to 20 dudes I wouldn't even bother and instead try to have fun and talk to people I found interesting. But with dating apps pretty much every girl is always surrounded by guys like that trying too hard and the same guys are surrounding as many girls as possible since online they are not limited by the physics of space online.
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@Kolanaki@pawb.social 2026-01-15 16:52
I was taught to treat others the way I want to be treated, but this causes friction when I want to be harassed and catcalled the way cartoon construction workers harass and catcall women, but women don't like that at all. 😩
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@roserose56@lemmy.zip 2026-01-15 19:05
You have to know stuff, you can't just go there! Saying "hi" is a red flag, bad seed, you will be ghosted.
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@Formfiller@lemmy.world 2026-01-14 21:08
Women are people so you talk to them how you would talk to another person
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@sundray@lemmus.org 2026-01-14 17:32
Dating concerns of the modern era: "Now, how do I make it clear I'm not a murderer without looking like a murderer 🤔 ."
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@smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 2026-01-14 21:04
PSA: "tyyy" - thanks, ya yella yutz. Such language. Tsk.
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@abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2026-01-15 12:33
The most lesbian thing I have seen today.
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@DylanMc6@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2026-01-15 05:21
To whoever said that (or anyone who DON'T talk to people when trying to date): have you tried improv? Improv comedy would help you talk to people better, and would probably give you the confidence and courage https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/play-your-way-sane/202303/7-research-backed-benefits-of-improv-comedy
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@gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 2026-01-15 21:45
omg damn that's me. i ended up sending a shitpost meme/pic of my dinner to a female co-student. still waiting for her response.
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@realitaetsverlust@piefed.zip 2026-01-14 17:17
The next generation of young men is going to be a split of lonely, sad boys and andrew tate wannabes lmao. It's kinda funny but also pretty damn sad.
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@razen@lemmy.world 2026-01-15 21:02
Same bro same
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@djdarren@piefed.social 2026-01-15 13:05
me_irl
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@kora@sh.itjust.works 2026-01-14 17:31
Certified [!me_irl@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/me_irl) hood classic
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@echodot@feddit.uk 2026-01-15 06:50
I think people's biggest fear with paying for the apps is that they'll end up in a situation where they are just throwing good money after bad and not getting anything for it. Then you get into the sunk cost fallacy and it's really difficult to get yourself out of that headspace. The problem is the apps say that they have recommendations that you only have to pay to unlock but I don't believe them.
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@peopleproblems@lemmy.world 2026-01-15 04:35
Ok well, I haven't had that kind of success. But success none the less.
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@Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2026-01-15 17:46
The issue here, beside being a sample of one is that you immediately paid so other factors could be in play.
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@echodot@feddit.uk 2026-01-15 06:46
Yeah and they all suck as a result. I keep meaning to have a proper look into it and see if there are any actual dating site / apps that are independent. It's a massive pain because usually you can't really tell if an app is going to be any good or if it's just another clone until after you've already signed up. It's quite the time investment.
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@monkeyslikebananas2@lemmy.world 2026-01-14 17:35
YoU hAvE tO rEaD bEtWeEn tHe LiNeS Or sOmE sHiT - her probably
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@FatVegan@leminal.space 2026-01-15 11:28
The funny thing is that it wasn't always this bad. When i used tinder the first time, i installed it, got like 20 matches, talked to some people and met up with one or two. It was free and unlimited, except to see who matched you and super likes and all that shit. It just got periodically worse and worse. The last time i used tinder was this summer and it's disgusting. The app is designed to prevent you from getting matches, the only ones who swiped on me live in china, kenya or Thailand. Expectations have gone through the roof. With all that said, i actually met someone that i really love and we both are kind of in the same boat. Neither me or her have ever met someone that they liked as much, and i would've never met her without these shitty ass apps.