#speakhisname

"Sometimes I really think people ought to have to pass a *proper* exam before they're allowed to be parents. Not just the practical, I mean." Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time #GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

"You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look." Terry Pratchett, Small Gods #GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

It would be nice to say that the tiny frogs thought long and hard about the new flower, about life in the old flower, about the need to explore, about the possibility that the world was bigger than a pool with petals around the edge. In fact, what they thought was: "._._.mipmip._._.mipmip._._.mipmip". Terry Pratchett, Wings #GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

Lancre operated on the feudal system, which was to say, everyone feuded all the time and handed on the fight to their descendants. Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum #GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

"Did any of them kids have some space alien with a face like a friendly turd in a bike basket?" Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens #GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness. Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms #GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

• "What shall I do?"
• "Well, if you see anything crawl out of the sea and try to breathe, you could try telling it not to bother."

Rincewind and Eric at the Beginning of Time Terry Pratchett, Eric

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

"Slave is an Ephebian word. In Om we have no word for slave," said Vorbis. "So I understand," said the Tyrant. "I imagine that fish have no word for water." Terry Pratchett, Small Gods #GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

"It's got three keyboards and a hundred extra knobs, including twelve with '?' on them." The Unseen University Organ, as designed by B. S. Johnson Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms #GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

The Emperor had all the qualifications for a corpse except, as it were, the most vital one. Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times #GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

[...] Vimes's grin was as funny as the one that moves very fast towards drowning men. And has a fin on top. Terry Pratchett, Jingo #GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. Terry Pratchett, Diggers #GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

They looked at one another in incomprehension, two minds driving opposite ways up a narrow street and waiting for the other man to reverse first. Terry Pratchett, Soul Music #GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

Granddad was superstitious about books. He thought that if you had enough of them around, education leaked out, like radioactivity. Terry Pratchett, Johnny and the Dead #GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

"When a man is tired of Ankh-Morpork, he is tired of ankle-deep slurry." Terry Pratchett, Mort #GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

SQUEAK. The Death of Rats Terry Pratchett, Small Gods #GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

Something small and distant broke through the cloud layer, trailing shreds of vapour. In the stratospheric calm the sounds of bickering came sharp and clear. "You said you could fly one of these things!" "No I didn't; I just said *you* couldn't!" Rincewind and Twoflower attempt broomstick flying Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic #GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

"Luck is my middle name," said Rincewind, indistinctly. "Mind you, my first name is Bad." Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times #GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

• "What're quantum mechanics?"
• "I don't know. People who repair quantums, I suppose."

Terry Pratchett, Eric

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

Oh dear, I'm feeling political today. It's just that it's dawned on me that 'zero tolerance' only seems to mean putting extra police in poor, run-down areas, and not in the Stock Exchange. Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett #GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld