CW: mental health, self-harm, checking out
On Thursday the Mental Health Services episode of my podcast The Autistic Rant Hour went online. And then I got a phone call from my mother’s cousin, a beloved elderly family member, where he heartbreakingly informed me of the passing of his 27 year old eldest grandson. It was self-inflicted and preceded by a lifetime in the Mental Healthcare system of a North-European country, with all the available resources at his disposal. I‘ve never met my first cousin twice removed, may his memory be a blessing, and I very barely know his father. So I cannot tell you whether he, like Rey, the wonderful guest on the podcast’s Mental Health Services episode, was also a misdiagnosed autistic person who got the wrong treatment for his condition, no accommodations, and often suffered extremely harmful neglect. Maybe he had a totally different mental struggle, maybe he did get the treatment he needed. I have no way of knowing. All I do know is that on his computer, his father found a document detailing the research he conducted regarding the recovery rate of people with the condition he was diagnosed with and about the kinds of help he could expect from Mental Health Services in his country. He came to the conclusion that his only way was the way out, and started planning his escape from life on a weekend off the ward he had coming.
Rey Rissanen, my guest on The Autistic Rant Hour’s 4th episode, was thankfully luckier. After years in and out of therapy and psych wards, they realized they were in fact, autistic, rather than depressive with a borderline personality disorder. This helped them understand that all their efforts to recover by following the prescribed treatment did not fail because they were a terrible person nor a terrible patient, but because they got the wrong diagnosis and the wrong treatment, if they even got any treatment at all. They learned to advocate for themself and figured out how to shape their life in a way that would enable them to pursue goals such as moving and attending university. There, they will also know how to request the accommodations they need and seek appropriate help in case of trouble.
Such a future was not to be for the family member we have lost, and we are left to mourn and wonder why.
I would like to dedicate this episode to his memory, and hope that those of you who need to hear a story of hope rather than despair, can get that from this episode. Whether you choose to listen to it or not, please know that there might be an explanation to your plight that Mental Health professionals are often woefully misinformed about, and that if you feel your treatment is failing, it might very well not be because of your shortcomings, but that of the system. Figuring out what is at the root of your suffering can make a world of difference and help you forwards and upwards. I hope you and your loved ones who may be struggling right now can find hope in this message, and maybe give yourself a few more years to try and figure this out before making any irreversible decisions.
You are very welcome to share your experiences with Mental Health Services on this thread, but please remember to add content warnings. Also please keep in mind that neither I nor most of the people reading this can give you professional help, so in case of emergency, please contact your local crisis center and try to advocate for your needs as best you can.
You can find The Autistic Rant Hour wherever you get your podcasts.
Here’s a link to the podcast on Aut2Aut’s website, where you can find a human-proofread transcript:
https://prepped.to/podcasts/autistic-rant-hour
#ActuallyAutistc #MentalHealth #misdiagnosis #selfharm #AutismAwareness
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