mastodon
4.7.0-beta.1
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
Mean Girls is just The Craft rebranded with less candles and better writers. #isaidwhatisaid #factnotopinion
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
Can’t wait to see what animal becomes an internet sensation next. First we had Lida Bida Boda Butt, now Jimothy. What’s next? A cat? An octopus? Only time will tell.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
Had a follow up on my lab results and my hormones are in the ideal range. “Everything is perfect and normal” (he doesn’t *know* me, clearly). Great. I guess this is just who I am, and now can’t make any medically backed excuses.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
I don’t need friends, I have U*!
*undiscovered mental disorders that will *hopefully* be named after me
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
Oh, I’m sorry. Did you trip over my boundary and sprain your ankle? Go fuck yourself.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
Turns out binge re-watching Six Feet Under a week before my period wasn’t the way to go. 😿
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
I finally reached the age and skin elasticity of someone who realized I gotta start taking this health shit seriously. Like quit smoking, quit drinking alcohol, quit everything that made life bearable just so I could be miserable for a short time longer.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
Looking for content ideas. If willing, please describe your worst first date.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
The closer I get to menopause, the more bulletproof I feel. I didn’t expect that. To lose buckets of fucks daily. It almost makes the whole ordeal worth the trouble. I guess it’s literally having the weight of reproduction lifted off of me. I’m especially thankful to be coming into this era during a period when openly discussing it is encouraged.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
Once again I’ve been asked to excuse myself from this Olive Garden, and to go wait in the car.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
MySpace had it right when they allowed you to choose your top 8. No secrets, and no misinterpreting. Just you declaring to the world which 8 humans you liked the best. It was a beautiful thing.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
Know how to put a guaranteed end to generational trauma? Don’t create another generation. Boom. Simple. Problem solved.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
Ah. Now it makes sense.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
🫱🏽Get dressed and go to a bar with friends
🫲🏽Stay home and watch SNL with my dog and eat left over Chinese food
I think it’s easy to guess which option will win.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
You bring the milk. 🥛
I’ll bring the shake. 🫨
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
It’s gonna take some time, but one day you’re going to wake up and realize that all of those “mean, bitter women” were just finally setting boundaries that forced others to take accountability. And turns out they were totally justified in their choice to be done with other people’s shit.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
Every woman out there needs to name 3 things she loves about her grandmother, and fucking meet that standard.
1) She spoke her truth
2) She knew how to bake a goddamn delicious cheesecake
3) She held strong to that grudge she had with Beth for 22 years
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
Happy Cinco de Cuatro for all of those who celebrate!
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
Desert person, chaotic neutral, nomad, sapiosexual, majorly into stand-up comedy and dark humor.
You CANNOT support Trump and love your country. You’re gonna have to pick one. They absolutely can’t coexist.