@caraplayingstuff Well, I suppose correlation is not causation. It could be they dropped away for other reasons that just happened to coincide with my exploring my aceness more vocally.
I suspect that one of my problems may also be that I'm letting the label define me instead of the other way around, which is something I'm prone to if I'm not careful.
taedryn
@taedryn@anarres.family
mastodon
4.6.0-alpha.4+glitch.anarres.family
Your favorite trans femme tomboy. I am a computer toucher for money, but aviatrix, photographer, writer, cellist, and sexy gay menace for fun. Some delightful combination of autistic, ADHD, plural, sex-positive ace, depressed, and generally neurospicy.
This account will occasionally post mature content, but fair warning that most of what I talk about is self-absorbed trans nonsense (of the best kind, but still). I technically have an after-dark alt at @taedryn, but I suspect that's unlikely to become active again any time soon.
Follow requests are active, and I'm really only interested in being perceived by other trans and queer folks when I'm here, so if I turn down your request, chances are good that's why.
Profile picture is a commissioned portrait of my OC Tatiana Fenrir, by @kalandras_ from the cursed Xitter hellsite before it was so cursed (no idea if kalandras is still there or not; I hope not).
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Followers
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Following
Joined June 24, 2024
Pronouns:
she/her
Epiphanies:
Trans, sex-positive, polyam, plural, ace
Trans birthday:
28 Feb 2022
Posts
taedryn
@taedryn@anarres.family
Your favorite trans femme tomboy. I am a computer toucher for money, but aviatrix, photographer, writer, cellist, and sexy gay menace for fun. Some delightful combination of autistic, ADHD, plural, sex-positive ace, depressed, and generally neurospicy. This account will occasionally post mature content, but fair warning that most of what I talk about is self-absorbed trans nonsense (of the best kind, but still). I technically have an after-dark alt at @taedryn, but I suspect that's unlikely to become active again any time soon. Follow requests are active, and I'm really only interested in being perceived by other trans and queer folks when I'm here, so if I turn down your request, chances are good that's why. Profile picture is a commissioned portrait of my OC Tatiana Fenrir, by @kalandras_ from the cursed Xitter hellsite before it was so cursed (no idea if kalandras is still there or not; I hope not).
anarres.family
taedryn
@taedryn@anarres.family
Your favorite trans femme tomboy. I am a computer toucher for money, but aviatrix, photographer, writer, cellist, and sexy gay menace for fun. Some delightful combination of autistic, ADHD, plural, sex-positive ace, depressed, and generally neurospicy. This account will occasionally post mature content, but fair warning that most of what I talk about is self-absorbed trans nonsense (of the best kind, but still). I technically have an after-dark alt at @taedryn, but I suspect that's unlikely to become active again any time soon. Follow requests are active, and I'm really only interested in being perceived by other trans and queer folks when I'm here, so if I turn down your request, chances are good that's why. Profile picture is a commissioned portrait of my OC Tatiana Fenrir, by @kalandras_ from the cursed Xitter hellsite before it was so cursed (no idea if kalandras is still there or not; I hope not).
anarres.family
@taedryn@anarres.family
·
Mar 26, 2026
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taedryn
@taedryn@anarres.family
Your favorite trans femme tomboy. I am a computer toucher for money, but aviatrix, photographer, writer, cellist, and sexy gay menace for fun. Some delightful combination of autistic, ADHD, plural, sex-positive ace, depressed, and generally neurospicy. This account will occasionally post mature content, but fair warning that most of what I talk about is self-absorbed trans nonsense (of the best kind, but still). I technically have an after-dark alt at @taedryn, but I suspect that's unlikely to become active again any time soon. Follow requests are active, and I'm really only interested in being perceived by other trans and queer folks when I'm here, so if I turn down your request, chances are good that's why. Profile picture is a commissioned portrait of my OC Tatiana Fenrir, by @kalandras_ from the cursed Xitter hellsite before it was so cursed (no idea if kalandras is still there or not; I hope not).
anarres.family
taedryn
@taedryn@anarres.family
Your favorite trans femme tomboy. I am a computer toucher for money, but aviatrix, photographer, writer, cellist, and sexy gay menace for fun. Some delightful combination of autistic, ADHD, plural, sex-positive ace, depressed, and generally neurospicy. This account will occasionally post mature content, but fair warning that most of what I talk about is self-absorbed trans nonsense (of the best kind, but still). I technically have an after-dark alt at @taedryn, but I suspect that's unlikely to become active again any time soon. Follow requests are active, and I'm really only interested in being perceived by other trans and queer folks when I'm here, so if I turn down your request, chances are good that's why. Profile picture is a commissioned portrait of my OC Tatiana Fenrir, by @kalandras_ from the cursed Xitter hellsite before it was so cursed (no idea if kalandras is still there or not; I hope not).
anarres.family
@taedryn@anarres.family
·
Mar 26, 2026
I was thinking about this last night, and realized I should actually ask the question. Poll time!
So, I decided a year or two ago that I was probably asexual, based on the evidence I had at the time. Since then, it's become clearer that this is the case.
However, this has not done anything particularly good for me, aside from giving me information to pass to any theoretical new relationship partners. I feel worse about myself, I think because I'm no longer getting the flirty interaction I was enjoying, even if sex was never the object. Like, everyone heard me talking about being ace and decided, probably out of respect for me, to knock off the flirting. No flirting means no deeper relationships, or so it seems, as most of my trans femme friends are somewhere between very and deeply sexual, so it feels like there's this invisible barrier between us.
That got me to wondering, do my ace friends feel similarly? Obviously it is now poll time.
Ace friends, how does the fact of your aceness impact your life? How do you feel about it? (I realize this is a very simple poll and cannot possibly encompass how you feel; I'm just looking for big trends, please comment for more nuance.)
So, I decided a year or two ago that I was probably asexual, based on the evidence I had at the time. Since then, it's become clearer that this is the case.
However, this has not done anything particularly good for me, aside from giving me information to pass to any theoretical new relationship partners. I feel worse about myself, I think because I'm no longer getting the flirty interaction I was enjoying, even if sex was never the object. Like, everyone heard me talking about being ace and decided, probably out of respect for me, to knock off the flirting. No flirting means no deeper relationships, or so it seems, as most of my trans femme friends are somewhere between very and deeply sexual, so it feels like there's this invisible barrier between us.
That got me to wondering, do my ace friends feel similarly? Obviously it is now poll time.
Ace friends, how does the fact of your aceness impact your life? How do you feel about it? (I realize this is a very simple poll and cannot possibly encompass how you feel; I'm just looking for big trends, please comment for more nuance.)
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taedryn
@taedryn@anarres.family
Your favorite trans femme tomboy. I am a computer toucher for money, but aviatrix, photographer, writer, cellist, and sexy gay menace for fun. Some delightful combination of autistic, ADHD, plural, sex-positive ace, depressed, and generally neurospicy. This account will occasionally post mature content, but fair warning that most of what I talk about is self-absorbed trans nonsense (of the best kind, but still). I technically have an after-dark alt at @taedryn, but I suspect that's unlikely to become active again any time soon. Follow requests are active, and I'm really only interested in being perceived by other trans and queer folks when I'm here, so if I turn down your request, chances are good that's why. Profile picture is a commissioned portrait of my OC Tatiana Fenrir, by @kalandras_ from the cursed Xitter hellsite before it was so cursed (no idea if kalandras is still there or not; I hope not).
anarres.family
taedryn
@taedryn@anarres.family
Your favorite trans femme tomboy. I am a computer toucher for money, but aviatrix, photographer, writer, cellist, and sexy gay menace for fun. Some delightful combination of autistic, ADHD, plural, sex-positive ace, depressed, and generally neurospicy. This account will occasionally post mature content, but fair warning that most of what I talk about is self-absorbed trans nonsense (of the best kind, but still). I technically have an after-dark alt at @taedryn, but I suspect that's unlikely to become active again any time soon. Follow requests are active, and I'm really only interested in being perceived by other trans and queer folks when I'm here, so if I turn down your request, chances are good that's why. Profile picture is a commissioned portrait of my OC Tatiana Fenrir, by @kalandras_ from the cursed Xitter hellsite before it was so cursed (no idea if kalandras is still there or not; I hope not).
anarres.family
@taedryn@anarres.family
·
Mar 20, 2026
Interesting. Went looking for a trans-as-hell license plate frame, just out of curiosity.
There are a few "ally" type frames on Etsy.
And almost nothing that indicates the driver is trans.
It's almost like... marketing to trans people who can afford a car is... pointless?
Gosh, whatever could that mean.
🙄
There are a few "ally" type frames on Etsy.
And almost nothing that indicates the driver is trans.
It's almost like... marketing to trans people who can afford a car is... pointless?
Gosh, whatever could that mean.
🙄
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taedryn
@taedryn@anarres.family
Your favorite trans femme tomboy. I am a computer toucher for money, but aviatrix, photographer, writer, cellist, and sexy gay menace for fun. Some delightful combination of autistic, ADHD, plural, sex-positive ace, depressed, and generally neurospicy. This account will occasionally post mature content, but fair warning that most of what I talk about is self-absorbed trans nonsense (of the best kind, but still). I technically have an after-dark alt at @taedryn, but I suspect that's unlikely to become active again any time soon. Follow requests are active, and I'm really only interested in being perceived by other trans and queer folks when I'm here, so if I turn down your request, chances are good that's why. Profile picture is a commissioned portrait of my OC Tatiana Fenrir, by @kalandras_ from the cursed Xitter hellsite before it was so cursed (no idea if kalandras is still there or not; I hope not).
anarres.family
taedryn
@taedryn@anarres.family
Your favorite trans femme tomboy. I am a computer toucher for money, but aviatrix, photographer, writer, cellist, and sexy gay menace for fun. Some delightful combination of autistic, ADHD, plural, sex-positive ace, depressed, and generally neurospicy. This account will occasionally post mature content, but fair warning that most of what I talk about is self-absorbed trans nonsense (of the best kind, but still). I technically have an after-dark alt at @taedryn, but I suspect that's unlikely to become active again any time soon. Follow requests are active, and I'm really only interested in being perceived by other trans and queer folks when I'm here, so if I turn down your request, chances are good that's why. Profile picture is a commissioned portrait of my OC Tatiana Fenrir, by @kalandras_ from the cursed Xitter hellsite before it was so cursed (no idea if kalandras is still there or not; I hope not).
anarres.family
@taedryn@anarres.family
·
Mar 19, 2026
Ah yes, the bane of women's clothing: "high waisted" jeans that resolutely refuse to stay up where they're supposed to.
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taedryn
@taedryn@anarres.family
Your favorite trans femme tomboy. I am a computer toucher for money, but aviatrix, photographer, writer, cellist, and sexy gay menace for fun. Some delightful combination of autistic, ADHD, plural, sex-positive ace, depressed, and generally neurospicy. This account will occasionally post mature content, but fair warning that most of what I talk about is self-absorbed trans nonsense (of the best kind, but still). I technically have an after-dark alt at @taedryn, but I suspect that's unlikely to become active again any time soon. Follow requests are active, and I'm really only interested in being perceived by other trans and queer folks when I'm here, so if I turn down your request, chances are good that's why. Profile picture is a commissioned portrait of my OC Tatiana Fenrir, by @kalandras_ from the cursed Xitter hellsite before it was so cursed (no idea if kalandras is still there or not; I hope not).
anarres.family
taedryn
@taedryn@anarres.family
Your favorite trans femme tomboy. I am a computer toucher for money, but aviatrix, photographer, writer, cellist, and sexy gay menace for fun. Some delightful combination of autistic, ADHD, plural, sex-positive ace, depressed, and generally neurospicy. This account will occasionally post mature content, but fair warning that most of what I talk about is self-absorbed trans nonsense (of the best kind, but still). I technically have an after-dark alt at @taedryn, but I suspect that's unlikely to become active again any time soon. Follow requests are active, and I'm really only interested in being perceived by other trans and queer folks when I'm here, so if I turn down your request, chances are good that's why. Profile picture is a commissioned portrait of my OC Tatiana Fenrir, by @kalandras_ from the cursed Xitter hellsite before it was so cursed (no idea if kalandras is still there or not; I hope not).
anarres.family
@taedryn@anarres.family
·
Mar 05, 2026
@lucasmz At least for myself, I'm not describing agender. That's a familiar term to me, and it's not accurate for what I was going for: I have a gender, it's just that my sense of gender is essentially "me" and not "woman" or "man" or any other category I feel I can fit myself into. That includes agender.
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taedryn
@taedryn@anarres.family
Your favorite trans femme tomboy. I am a computer toucher for money, but aviatrix, photographer, writer, cellist, and sexy gay menace for fun. Some delightful combination of autistic, ADHD, plural, sex-positive ace, depressed, and generally neurospicy. This account will occasionally post mature content, but fair warning that most of what I talk about is self-absorbed trans nonsense (of the best kind, but still). I technically have an after-dark alt at @taedryn, but I suspect that's unlikely to become active again any time soon. Follow requests are active, and I'm really only interested in being perceived by other trans and queer folks when I'm here, so if I turn down your request, chances are good that's why. Profile picture is a commissioned portrait of my OC Tatiana Fenrir, by @kalandras_ from the cursed Xitter hellsite before it was so cursed (no idea if kalandras is still there or not; I hope not).
anarres.family
taedryn
@taedryn@anarres.family
Your favorite trans femme tomboy. I am a computer toucher for money, but aviatrix, photographer, writer, cellist, and sexy gay menace for fun. Some delightful combination of autistic, ADHD, plural, sex-positive ace, depressed, and generally neurospicy. This account will occasionally post mature content, but fair warning that most of what I talk about is self-absorbed trans nonsense (of the best kind, but still). I technically have an after-dark alt at @taedryn, but I suspect that's unlikely to become active again any time soon. Follow requests are active, and I'm really only interested in being perceived by other trans and queer folks when I'm here, so if I turn down your request, chances are good that's why. Profile picture is a commissioned portrait of my OC Tatiana Fenrir, by @kalandras_ from the cursed Xitter hellsite before it was so cursed (no idea if kalandras is still there or not; I hope not).
anarres.family
@taedryn@anarres.family
·
Mar 04, 2026
@avatastic Interestingly, that's a term I decided was better than "egg" a few weeks ago. 😆
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taedryn
@taedryn@anarres.family
Your favorite trans femme tomboy. I am a computer toucher for money, but aviatrix, photographer, writer, cellist, and sexy gay menace for fun. Some delightful combination of autistic, ADHD, plural, sex-positive ace, depressed, and generally neurospicy. This account will occasionally post mature content, but fair warning that most of what I talk about is self-absorbed trans nonsense (of the best kind, but still). I technically have an after-dark alt at @taedryn, but I suspect that's unlikely to become active again any time soon. Follow requests are active, and I'm really only interested in being perceived by other trans and queer folks when I'm here, so if I turn down your request, chances are good that's why. Profile picture is a commissioned portrait of my OC Tatiana Fenrir, by @kalandras_ from the cursed Xitter hellsite before it was so cursed (no idea if kalandras is still there or not; I hope not).
anarres.family
taedryn
@taedryn@anarres.family
Your favorite trans femme tomboy. I am a computer toucher for money, but aviatrix, photographer, writer, cellist, and sexy gay menace for fun. Some delightful combination of autistic, ADHD, plural, sex-positive ace, depressed, and generally neurospicy. This account will occasionally post mature content, but fair warning that most of what I talk about is self-absorbed trans nonsense (of the best kind, but still). I technically have an after-dark alt at @taedryn, but I suspect that's unlikely to become active again any time soon. Follow requests are active, and I'm really only interested in being perceived by other trans and queer folks when I'm here, so if I turn down your request, chances are good that's why. Profile picture is a commissioned portrait of my OC Tatiana Fenrir, by @kalandras_ from the cursed Xitter hellsite before it was so cursed (no idea if kalandras is still there or not; I hope not).
anarres.family
@taedryn@anarres.family
·
Mar 04, 2026
@SaucySwampHag Interestingly, I described myself to a friend as "genderfucked" 11 years ago, well before I ever came out to myself as trans. I was trying to express the way I wasn't a man, no matter the evidence to the contrary. I was so young then, but also I've kinda circled back.
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taedryn
@taedryn@anarres.family
Your favorite trans femme tomboy. I am a computer toucher for money, but aviatrix, photographer, writer, cellist, and sexy gay menace for fun. Some delightful combination of autistic, ADHD, plural, sex-positive ace, depressed, and generally neurospicy. This account will occasionally post mature content, but fair warning that most of what I talk about is self-absorbed trans nonsense (of the best kind, but still). I technically have an after-dark alt at @taedryn, but I suspect that's unlikely to become active again any time soon. Follow requests are active, and I'm really only interested in being perceived by other trans and queer folks when I'm here, so if I turn down your request, chances are good that's why. Profile picture is a commissioned portrait of my OC Tatiana Fenrir, by @kalandras_ from the cursed Xitter hellsite before it was so cursed (no idea if kalandras is still there or not; I hope not).
anarres.family
taedryn
@taedryn@anarres.family
Your favorite trans femme tomboy. I am a computer toucher for money, but aviatrix, photographer, writer, cellist, and sexy gay menace for fun. Some delightful combination of autistic, ADHD, plural, sex-positive ace, depressed, and generally neurospicy. This account will occasionally post mature content, but fair warning that most of what I talk about is self-absorbed trans nonsense (of the best kind, but still). I technically have an after-dark alt at @taedryn, but I suspect that's unlikely to become active again any time soon. Follow requests are active, and I'm really only interested in being perceived by other trans and queer folks when I'm here, so if I turn down your request, chances are good that's why. Profile picture is a commissioned portrait of my OC Tatiana Fenrir, by @kalandras_ from the cursed Xitter hellsite before it was so cursed (no idea if kalandras is still there or not; I hope not).
anarres.family
@taedryn@anarres.family
·
Mar 04, 2026
@PurpleStephyr Nice, that's a good alternate for suigender.
Interesting rhyme with autigender, which is what started this whole conversation off.
Interesting rhyme with autigender, which is what started this whole conversation off.
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taedryn
@taedryn@anarres.family
Your favorite trans femme tomboy. I am a computer toucher for money, but aviatrix, photographer, writer, cellist, and sexy gay menace for fun. Some delightful combination of autistic, ADHD, plural, sex-positive ace, depressed, and generally neurospicy. This account will occasionally post mature content, but fair warning that most of what I talk about is self-absorbed trans nonsense (of the best kind, but still). I technically have an after-dark alt at @taedryn, but I suspect that's unlikely to become active again any time soon. Follow requests are active, and I'm really only interested in being perceived by other trans and queer folks when I'm here, so if I turn down your request, chances are good that's why. Profile picture is a commissioned portrait of my OC Tatiana Fenrir, by @kalandras_ from the cursed Xitter hellsite before it was so cursed (no idea if kalandras is still there or not; I hope not).
anarres.family
taedryn
@taedryn@anarres.family
Your favorite trans femme tomboy. I am a computer toucher for money, but aviatrix, photographer, writer, cellist, and sexy gay menace for fun. Some delightful combination of autistic, ADHD, plural, sex-positive ace, depressed, and generally neurospicy. This account will occasionally post mature content, but fair warning that most of what I talk about is self-absorbed trans nonsense (of the best kind, but still). I technically have an after-dark alt at @taedryn, but I suspect that's unlikely to become active again any time soon. Follow requests are active, and I'm really only interested in being perceived by other trans and queer folks when I'm here, so if I turn down your request, chances are good that's why. Profile picture is a commissioned portrait of my OC Tatiana Fenrir, by @kalandras_ from the cursed Xitter hellsite before it was so cursed (no idea if kalandras is still there or not; I hope not).
anarres.family
@taedryn@anarres.family
·
Mar 04, 2026
Gender queerdos of the world unite! (Or something)
Do you feel like your gender is "I dunno, I'm just me," and not "I am a woman" or "I am a man" or "I am non-binary" (etc)? Does it bug you that there's no word for that?
Let's fix that problem.
What's a good word, probably a neologism, for "My gender is me?"
I thought of sugender and suigender, but the first is already a person's name in some cultures, and the second has unfortunate resonances with self-harm.
What do you think? What's a good word for that?
#queer #genderqueer #neologismNeeded
Do you feel like your gender is "I dunno, I'm just me," and not "I am a woman" or "I am a man" or "I am non-binary" (etc)? Does it bug you that there's no word for that?
Let's fix that problem.
What's a good word, probably a neologism, for "My gender is me?"
I thought of sugender and suigender, but the first is already a person's name in some cultures, and the second has unfortunate resonances with self-harm.
What do you think? What's a good word for that?
#queer #genderqueer #neologismNeeded
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