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Back to Timeline !asklemmy @HubertManne__dup_8041
In reply to 1 earlier post
@vfreire85@lemmy.ml on lemmy.ml Open parent
I know for a fact that this exists and even has an explanation, peer-reviewed studies and so on. But on the last few months I’ve felt attracted (and I mean real attraction, not just ‘she’s cute, she’s nice, she would be a rational choice’) to women just to find out later that she’s already in a relationship. Of course if I don’t feel I can really repurpose my feelings towards a true friendship I break contact, but this gets me thinking and looking for some explanations. The thing is that people tend to see others already “committed” as “relationship-rated”, but that didn’t explained why I felt attracted before knowing it. But it seems, and there are studies that apparently support this, that people in relationships feel generally more at ease and have nothing to prove to others, and this reflects in their demeanor, body language, self-confidence, behaviour. Single people that are looking for a significant other, however, normally feel the pressure to “perform” and be desirable, therefore are sometimes perceived as nervous and excessively careful, or even as aggressive. For women, things could be worse, since we live in a profoundly aggressive society towards them, and showing openness could either mean a nice relationship, romantic or not, to being in a toxic relationship, to worse, I mean, way worse. At least that’s what I read about. Did anyone felt the same, even in same-sex interests?
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HubertManne in !asklemmy
@HubertManne__dup_8041@piefed.social · Dec 16
I dunno. Maybe people are more honest and real. I have a story from my youth. A friend and I put in singles ads in the local paper. Whelp I tend to be a pretty honest and straight forward person so my ad said things like I don’t really excersise but I like doing active things like walking. With his he was putting his best foot forward which to be honest, to me, was pretty much B Sing. So I got a response and he did not and his response was like. How did you get a response. Your add is like hey im fat and lazy. Now that is certainly not what my ad said but to his mind it was. To admit any basic human frailty was to be the worst possible interpretation anyone can make of it. Basically maga level. Of course I think @hades@feddit.uk has a point that people who are catches, good looks and/or great personality and such, likely have an easier time finding relationships
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