A lot of the time we do know, but we’re terrified of getting it wrong and getting rejected and maybe worse.

One rejection in college had me pegged as a creep to the point many of my own friends stopped talking to me. All I did was ask someone to get some tea once but I guess I didn’t do the mating dance right or something idk. Was a pretty powerful lesson in seeing how people will believe what they want to believe. I guess it’s the same for many of the “creeps” and “sluts” out there.

I rejected a girl in college and she went around telling everyone she could that I sexually harassed her. She got her comeuppance and got booted out of school after she did it to other guys too, but it was terrifying for that brief window when people believed her. I’d be eating lunch and random weirdos would come up to me and go ‘I KNOW WHAT YOU DID YOU FUCKING CREEP!’

That really is not ok, sorry bro. This happened to a friend of mine too, and I saw what that did to him. It’s so much worse than people realize. He nearly got kicked out of school over it even. What saved him was the same thing that saved you: she was stupid enough to make a pattern out of the behaviour. That said it didn’t make it all better, because he no longer trusted the people who abandoned him. The social dynamics of that group never recovered.