If you want to know why men with basic decency are so oblivious, head on over to the womens stuff community and see how many posts boil down to “all men are rapists”. I’m friends with several real life women, and most of them hold that same opinion and have damn good reasons for it (“Except you glitch, you’re one of the good ones”). More than one have expressed to me that they hate being straight because they’ve never dated a man who hasn’t taken advantage of them. So yeah, I’m not making a move on a lady, well mostly because I’m gay, but even if I wasn’t I wouldn’t unless she explicitly asked for it. (I’d also have to run it by my boyfriend, and ask if she wanted a threesome with us, but that’s another topic.)

Reminds me of an interaction my friend had with a girl that he usually just had casual sex with. She asked him if they could do some rougher stuff, things that definitely would leave a physical mark. He said OK, but ONLY if she wrote up a statement beforehand explaining that this is in fact something she wanted to have done to her. There isn’t a single iota he could have said or done if she decided after the fact that it wasn’t for her and just reported it to the police. Most decent guys are very cautious about being wrongly accused, as the fallout entails the same thing as actually having violated someone.