Morothar ☿

RE: @morothar@universeodon.com

Update: First impression is unexpectedly good. But as this is a research chemical, meaning that there are no studies, especially not for mid-term or long-term, I will instead make sure to talk to my psychiatrist in order to make a plan on trying out other ADHD stimulant medications. 3-FPO, if it gets the research and if it turns out to be safe, will not become an ADHD medication in many years, and it may well be that it never happens because of some problematic effects. But the 5mg I took yestarday and today (as was the plan, I will switch back to methylphenidate tomorrow), had a great effect on my executive function. I am a messy person and I was able to do some cleaning and tidying up. The desk in front of me never was that clean and empty! So, yes, I like this effect and hopefully my psychiatrist and I will be find out that one of the other ADHD medications is just as effective but proven to be safe!

Got up real early today and I'm already on my way to the office! Not because of some hustle lifestyle or productivity delusion... No, my brain and my cat decided that 3.5 hours is the maximum amount of sleep I'm allowed to have... 😩🫩

Producer has a deep mistrust regarding me. She now denies she ever used the wording that I misunderstood but says I "misunderstood" a clear and direct statement, implying I did it on purpose. Further she fully believed when someone said that I had involved another person in order to go over her head. It's obvious she takes me for a manipulative person, someone capable of absolute devious behavior. I don't know why nor what purpose this would serve. I'm passionate about my job and I often go the extra mile to ensure that other departments get their needs for the tools fulfilled fast and in good quality. I seek smooth and effective collaboration. Yet I'm treated as if were looking for conflict and enjoyed sabotaging the very project that needs to be successful for me and others even having a job. With that level of distrust, I don't know how to go forward... #ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD

Current mood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jm932Sqwf5E

ADHD let me forget to be somewhere I promised and wanted to be. Two hours ago.
I'm not mad at myself... just very disappointed. :(

It's weird how my team and I keep getting praised and thanked for the work we do by basically any department. Except for Production.

Shouldn't a producer be able to make decisions, preferably based on facts, and then communicate them.
For month things get delayed, meetings moved, but I'm being told I should wait with investing *free* time into something.
Two weeks ago I was told: "I'm not telling you that you shouldn't start now.", which I took as a permission to finally start. Apparently they wanted me to wait until I got an "official Go", which I found today, after my team already made absolutely mind-blowing progress.
Yet, that "Go" also constantly gets harder to get, a requested timeline projection is now a required warerfall project plan.
I keep giving facts and thoroughly prepared reasons about everything regarding the thing, but so far I only am given vagueness and uncertainty. And hints of more delays.

Soooo.... what the actual fuck?!

Zufällig in "Die Inselärztin" gelandet (bei den Schwiegereltern)...
Die Darstellung der ansässigen Bürger*innen ist ja schaurig kolonial, die großteils dunkelhäutigen Anwohner werden als Kuriosität dargestellt: es wird getrommelt, Feste muten nach Stammestanz an, etc. Gleichermaßen sind sie wohl ausschließlich arm und hilfsbedürftig. Die weißen Protagonisten sind wohltätige Retter.

Und sowas ist von 2018, steckt aher fest in vergangenen Jahrhunderten.

Last night I slept only 5 hours. Had a long but okay workday. Commute took a total of 3.5 hours. Now, please explain to me: Why the fuck am I in an exceptionally good mood?! Confusion is me!!!!

Rebuilding an App from scratch is basically just a very, very thorough Refactoring. Right?

I refuse to believe that humans fighting and killing each other is ingrained human nature. In addition, I absolutely reject that this alleged trait is in any way a good thing. It's an omnipresent lie and framing that serves the power-hungry and broken beings. Humanity thrives on community instead!

Imbolc feels like an alarm clock at 6am... it's not my time, I'm just gonna sleep in. Anyways: To everyone celebrating, have a great one! #Imbolc #imbolg