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Florist vs the Anthropocene

@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse
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50 Posts
Joined October 01, 2024
here:
not here
this part:
doesn't go with anything
they:
them
it:
its

Posts

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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Aug 03, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Boosted by Furbland's Very Family-Friendly Account™ @GroupNebula563@mastodon.social
Replying to @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse
or is it about the number of swiss mercenaries you can field? in which case, i can probably find some
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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Aug 03, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Boosted by Furbland's Very Family-Friendly Account™ @GroupNebula563@mastodon.social
if you steal the papal tiara, do you then become de facto pope?
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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jul 28, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
seems like somewhere in the 1970s-1980s every other director said...let's have a guy be set on fire
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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jul 27, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Boosted by Furbland's Very Family-Friendly Account™ @GroupNebula563@mastodon.social
locke believed in a "tabula rasa" or razor table
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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jul 26, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Boosted by Furbland's Very Family-Friendly Account™ @GroupNebula563@mastodon.social
would i *like to join us for breakfast* ? shit fuck fuck s h i t fucking no
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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jul 26, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Replying to @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse
...days and days of looking at these pages... the archives gave me details about who had authority over this enslaved person, but almost nothing about what he wanted, feared, endured, or eventually became then years later his father appears from sicily, trying to free him, and suddenly you see the actual person and even there, the witness says only that the father came to try to free him and that he didn't know what happened then the person disappears again forever
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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jul 26, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Replying to @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse
institutions deciding who a person is, what name counts, what status governs them, and who controls their body
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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jul 24, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Replying to @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse
so then the inquisitor says...no we're not going to free you just because you found jesus
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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jul 24, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Replying to @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse
being a social historian means you're great at parties
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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jul 23, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Replying to @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse
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Open post
chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jul 23, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
reading documents from the inquisition turns out not to be very uplifting
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Open post
chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jul 20, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
*supermarket, meats section* David Cameron: “…Oh.” *a pig’s head is sitting in the refrigerated case* Pig’s Head: “David.” Cameron: “I wasn’t expecting to see you.” *adjusts hair* Pig’s Head: “It’s been a while.” Pig’s Head: “...You look nice. How’ve you been?” Cameron: “Busy.” Pig’s Head: “Mm.”
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Open post
chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jul 18, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
finally
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Open post
chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jul 18, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Replying to @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse
back in the 90s i had hundreds of moist towelettes, i used them instead of bathing, i was in lemon-scented bliss decades later, i'm destitute, moist towelette less, doomed to scroll the pages of ebay, thinking of a future that might have been
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Open post
chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jul 18, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
evidently the value of the discontinued McDonald's moist towelette have increased tremendously, from 0 dollars to somewhere on the order of 5 to 35 dollars depending on quality imagine seeing these on antiques roadshow
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Open post
chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jul 17, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
this account is mainly for idiotic silly ideas and shenanigans that's right, this account supports isis
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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jul 16, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
lonely, probably joining the communist party later
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Open post
chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jul 15, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Boosted by Furbland's Very Family-Friendly Account™ @GroupNebula563@mastodon.social
red sky at morn, sailor's delight, i think that's how it goes
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Open post
chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jul 14, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Boosted by Furbland's Very Family-Friendly Account™ @GroupNebula563@mastodon.social
pareidoliaphobia
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Open post
chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jul 13, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Replying to @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse
and all the other violent true believers
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Open post
chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jul 13, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
lindsey graham, up there moonwalking with mohamed atta and timothy mcveigh
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Open post
chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jul 11, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
do any condolences cards say "you need to start blaming yourself"
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Open post
chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jul 07, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
oregon trail: you have contracted a genocidal worldview
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Open post
chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jul 04, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
in france, they don't call it french toast it's "franch tosst"
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Open post
chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jun 27, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Boosted by Furbland's Very Cool Account™ @GroupNebula563@mastodon.social
people in british zombie movies are like, this is terribly inconvenient, has everyone forgotten how to queue up properly
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Open post
chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jun 26, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Boosted by Furbland's Very Cool Account™ @GroupNebula563@mastodon.social
Replying to @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse
when i saw the movie i mistakenly thought i was just watching an extended abercrombie and fitch ad
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Open post
chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jun 26, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Boosted by Furbland's Very Cool Account™ @GroupNebula563@mastodon.social
good to see John Hodgman and Justin Long from the mac/pc commercials doing ozempic commercials now, good, good. really couldn't wait to have them reading medication side effects to me. long time coming but the payoff was pretty damn sweet.
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Open post
chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jun 26, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Replying to @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse
apparently leonardo dicaprio turned down American Psycho, Talented Mr. Ripley, and Star Wars in order to be in The Beach
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Open post
chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jun 26, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Boosted by Furbland's Very Cool Account™ @GroupNebula563@mastodon.social
have you ever seen The Beach (2000)? wtf was that?
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Open post
chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · Jun 26, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Boosted by Furbland's Very Cool Account™ @GroupNebula563@mastodon.social
hey, do you like being forced to download useless crap? then you're going to love microsoft
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Open post
chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · May 14, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse

quietly slipping my manifesto into every little free library i can find

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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · May 10, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse

*from an alley*

hey, buddy, you wanna co-author an article?

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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · May 09, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse

finally planning that vacation to scranton

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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · May 07, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse

No Gods, No Masters, Just Great Savings!

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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · May 03, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Replying to @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse
tadpoles with little stick legs, no word for that in english then?
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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · May 03, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Replying to @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse
shit i meant to post this on my professional account
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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · May 02, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse

seems like fyi sometimes has a passive aggressive edge to it, sometimes not, idk. i find these subtle cues confusing.

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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · May 02, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse

canada wields immense soft power via maple syrup

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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · May 02, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse

i cant keep doing this

i say

waking up next to an empty bottle of maple syrup

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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · May 02, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse

important to distinguish between free range and caged anger

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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · May 02, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse

remember to blanket your horse once it earns its equine phd

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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · May 02, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Replying to @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse
apparently "outen" is pennsylvania dutch, not archaic english
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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · May 02, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Replying to @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse
i thought polliwogs were the tadpoles with little stick legs, but, apparently, it just means tadpoles what's the word for tadpoles with little legs then
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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · May 02, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Replying to @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse
crawdaddies would be a nice exclamation oh crawdaddies polliwogs and crawdaddies its such sticky weather why dont you take your poke and go down that there si-gogglin road a ways you'll find a holler fulla polliwogs and crawdaddies
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Open post
chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · May 02, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse
Replying to @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse
motion to increase the use of the words bric-a-brac and cattywampus just put all that bric-a-brac cattywampus in yon corner and outen the lights
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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · May 02, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse

cleaning makes me want to become a hoarder

the absolute simplicity of rampant clutter

yes, come in, check out this coffee table made of tv guides from 1993

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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · May 02, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse

flash of insight?

not on my watch

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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · May 02, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse

was just thinking about bungee jumping and then all of a sudden i see someone bungee jumping dont tell me thats baader-meinhof

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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · May 02, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse

been reading a awful lot of x-men character biographies, so, that's probably not a good sign

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chaotic_evil
Florist vs the Anthropocene @chaotic_evil@jorts.horse · May 02, 2026
Florist vs the Anthropocene
@chaotic_evil@jorts.horse

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jorts.horse

need another cuppa. some lapsang souchong will do the trick nicely.

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jorts.horse
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