@bampot@mastodon.scot

Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Aug 06, 2026

Hauf an hour later, the washins oot an ther wir huvin a cuppa when ah sais tae thaim "See me, see they wafer biscuits, ah dinnae like they wans" "What kind of biscuits do you like then?" Ask they "The kind you've goat in yer bag" Reply I "Tough" Say they So it's like that is it? 😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Aug 06, 2026

Ma mucker bought an auld tractor a while back thit wis disguised as a pile ae rusty metal. Well, he's nearly feenished it noo, an see if he gits it tae move, it cuid weel win a prize at the coo show! The transformation is quite astonishin sir, outstandin. So whit button dae ah push here? 😁😁 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3Igz5SfBCE

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Aug 03, 2026

Replying to on lgbtqia.space

@alexadeswift@lgbtqia.space ooooft, jings, naw! That muck is feckin rank 🤮😳😁 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBRCZLzn5pM

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 31, 2026

Why huv a goat the bakin trays oot?

Fockackaya, that's why, it's whit ah'm makin.
An naw, it's no a big pizza.

Whit um ah pittin oan ma Fockackaya?

Ah dunno yit, probably pizza toppin, how?
It still disnae make it a big pizza. 🤔😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 30, 2026

Replying to on lgbtqia.space

@alexadeswift@lgbtqia.space Whit? CalMac ur owned by us, the people ae Scotland, an unlike the reports ye mibbes hear fae yer Westminster Media, oor boats average 95% efficiancy. Dinnae listen tae everyhin ye hear oan the telly ur read in Inglis so caed 'Newspapers' the boats run mighty fine, but they ur liable tae disruption noo an again due tae wir unreliable Scottish werrer! 🤔😳😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 30, 2026

Breaking: We goat carrots! Ah kid you not. An ther fresh, locally grown, Scottish carrots tae! No they foustie Inglis hings thit huv rotted tae mush in ther wee plastic bags thit the store seems tae hink ur a substitite fur actual carrots. But know whit? Ah never saw yer main stream media reportin ony ae this. Why? Cause thers nae CalMac ferries involved, that's why! 🤔😳😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 30, 2026

Ah hud a tattie masher
But it is nae longer ther
So ah pondered oan it's wheraboots
An wonnert wher o wher?

En ah fun the tattie masher
It wis ootside oan the ster
So en ah sat an pondered
How the fuck did that git ther?

Yer daein too much ponderin
Thought I masel tae me
Yiv fun the tattie masher
Noo git oan wae the tea

Ah know ye fun the masher
But afore ye mash tat-tees
You wull huv tae wash it furst
Cause it wull be durt-ees

Why? Cause it wis lyin oot oan the steps ya feckin radge 😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 29, 2026

"Do you want a banana?" Enquire they ae I

Naw, no hanks, dae you want tae hear a song aboot a banana?

"No, no thanks" Reply they

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yModCU1OVHY

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 29, 2026

The doc sais, you urny weel san
Ah hink ye might huv this
Ah said ah didnae want that wan
Ah'll jist gie that a miss

Whit aboot this wan here en?
It's really rether rare
Ah huv awready goat that wan
An ah don't want it ony mair

The doc sais ah'm complicated
So he wants tae dae mair tests
Naw, jist furget invasive biopsies
Why no gie yer tests a rest?

Every time we git a new guy
They want tae cut an slice
Me masel is no sae keen
Cause they operations urny nice

Naw, nae mair 😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 28, 2026

Haw! Ther sumbdy far far away, across oan the orrer hill, flyin a big plain yella fleg oot in ther gairden!

Pardon ma ignorance, but dis that no mean thit yir diseased?

Mibbes they jist want a wee bitty peace an quiet, whae knows?
But if this isnae the case, it wis nice ae thaim tae lit the rest ae us know thit ther no weel wae sumhin highly contagious! 🤔😳😁

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yellow_Jack_(flag)

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 28, 2026

We hud a bitty sunshine
An noo wir back tae rain
But wan hing never chainges
Wiv nae internet again

It clicks aff in the mornin
It turns aff every night
Thers wan hing thits fur defo
Wir internet is shite

Ye try tae purchase items
Fae countries far away
Well, this is quite impossible
If yiv nae internet theday

Ah'm no really borrered
Ah still write ma garbage doon
It saves me huvin tae spraff mince
Tae the fowks aroon the toon

Appose this makes thaim happy annaw 🤔😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 27, 2026

So how wis your efternin en?
Well, as usual, it jist rhymed along in a cinna sing song cinna wey:

Mr Strange bought a new lawnmower
So he gied it plenty choke
Five minutes later, whit he hud ther
Wis a lawnmower thit wis broke

Ah see whit you huv done, Strange
Yiv buggered up the mix
So if ye gie, that machine tae me
Yer lawnmower ah cin fix

But naw he widnae wer this
An he stormed back doon the store
Where they telt him he hud flooded it
An no tae dae this ony more.

See, ah telt ye 😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 27, 2026

Oh whit!
Noo that ther is wan feckin huge soordough loaf ae breid!
Ah hink it's time fur anorrer wee hauns in the err moment here Mr B, no hink?

Ah wonner if he's playin the Embra festival this year?
Ah cuid take him oor a loaf ae ma soordough breid, it goes weel wae a cuppa tea.
But no in the middle ae the night though, he shuid dae mair efternin shows if he wants scones wae his tea 😁😁

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xT2iP5Si-Ho

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 25, 2026

"Look at this old Boglin Dad, was this my one? Look it's starting to turn to mush" Sais wir Jnr fella Ay, ah know, so cin we throw it oot noo en? "No" Reply they "You can't get them anymore" Ay, that wull because ther aw that auld thit ther rubbery, foamy ur whitever substance ther bodies wir made fae, hus long ago turnt tae mush! An byrawey, whit ur ye daein in that cupboard? Ah jist feckin tidied the place oot tae, Jingszo! 🙄😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 23, 2026

Never mind thit thers nae carrots An ah want tae make this clear The only hing the store noo stocks Is tins ae ale an lager beer They say ther is nae shortage But ah score aff ma shoppin list An the only hing thit ah cin git Is slimy ham an rat ersed pished They huvny nae tomaties An they huvny ony yeast Ah did git a wee tumshie That's a vegetable at least Dinnae mention climate chainge An dinnae mention Brexit youse The reason thers a shortage, is It's aw stuck oot in Hormuz Bullshit! 😳🙄

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 22, 2026

Replying to @alexadeswift@lgbtqia.space

@alexadeswift@lgbtqia.space Ay, fur defo, ah wonner whit his title wull be? Lord Anal Sairwans ae Radgey - Stan ur sumhin? They shoorlies must be runnin oot ae names fur ther ornamental insertions annaw, they shoorlies huv tae be by noo, shoorlies, no hink sae?🤔😳😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 22, 2026

Replying to @alexadeswift@lgbtqia.space

@alexadeswift@lgbtqia.space Exactly, an ah cuidny care less, it's no ma country, an they cin ram as much shite intae ther Inglis parliament as they like. But they shuid stert caein it whit it is..The Inglis Hooses ae Corruption 🤔😳😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 22, 2026

Ah see thit Burnthaim fae the corporates Westminster Wan Perty is plannin oan flingin mair shite in the Thames. Anal Sairwans tae, ooooft! They jist canny seem tae git enough shite doon ther! Huv they no goat enough shite ae ther ain? But it jist shows ye wher a haunshake an a couple ae quid gits ye these days, he bought himsel intae the Stauners Subservient Jock Joab up here annaw. Fuckim, he wis toast onywey. Fuckem aw fur that metter.. Onwards..Heeeucht! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 21, 2026

The fruit shoap hus nae carrots An we need carrots fur the tea Ah dinnae git these oot the store Cause thers ur aw foustie Ah mibbes git a tumshie The flavours much the same An ah goat some nice new tatties But ah'll huv tae humph these hame Ah goat a big four pints ae milk An picked up flooer tae An noo ah'm sterrin up the hill It's luikin a long way Bugger! It gits steeper every feckin day that hill 😳😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 18, 2026

Ther ah'm sittin oot the back when Mr The Dug lits oot a whimper, an sure enough ther wan ae wir new bambi's, brave as ye like, munchin away oan the Dandelions, no gien an actual. Well, ah hud ma tablet wae me, so ah turnt oan the zoom tae git a picture, an ther the wee hing sterrin right back at me oan full screen, real creepy like. But as soon as ah clicked the photie button, the fecker vanished quicker thin wan ae Trumps UFO's. They beasties know! Ah goat a crackin photie ae a blur though 😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 17, 2026

Replying to @bampot@mastodon.scot

"What is this muck smouldering away in the jar here Granda? "Sais the Jnr bar staff tae I "Can it go in the bucket?" Listen you, if ah wanted a cleaner ah wid employ yer Granny, jist dinnae you touch that, it's ma new soordough sterter. "Can you make bread with that?" Ask they Well ah cin, ah huv nae idea whit they teach ye tae dae wae the stuff at law schuil, jist dinnae feckin touch it, trust me oan this wan Mizz Habeas Corpus, ur ye cuid weel huv yer furst law suit oan yer hauns 😳😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 17, 2026

The orrer week ther, ah stoated intae a boozer in the center ae Glesga, an the bonnie wee lassie ahint the bar sais "Ah'm no servin ye" How? "Cause ah know ye" Replied they See, this is whit happens when yer Granwean takes a holiday joab wher they git tae haud a wee bitty authority, an they didnae even sell Scottish Blend tea either. Whit cinna cocktail bar is that yer wurkin in? Well, know whit? Wiv nae posh veggie burgers hen, but wiv goat aw the ingredients, here, make yer fuckin ain 😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 16, 2026

Replying to @alexadeswift@lgbtqia.space

@alexadeswift@lgbtqia.space Ah've nae idea, ah follie the oval baw gemm. Whit ah cin tell ye though is thit thers an awfy loat ae people oan the telly, still spraffin oan aboot 1966. It's pure stomach churnin so it is. Roll oan 2031, that wull make it 65 years we here in Scotland wull huv hud wir 1966 daily reminder fae the State broadcaster 🤮🤮😁😁🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 16, 2026

Replying to @bampot@mastodon.scot

Och, gie it a feckin rest eh, youse goat gubbed an yer oot, end ov, simple as that. But ah did notice thit the saddo channel hus chainged ther this mornins headline fae.. 'The Cruelest Defeat Since 1966'.. tae: Why England's loss to Argentina felt like most painful in 60 years of hurt. En added : Why you should care about World Cup third-place play-off Ah cuidny care less, but ah cin still laugh at this States desperado broadcasters. Up yours..Heeeucht! 😁😁🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/articles/cly5we2lgq4o

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 16, 2026

Ah stuck a soordough sterter oan yesterday an it's bubblin away awready. Ah've no seen wan stert up sae quick since that really hoat summer we hud back in 1966. "Was that not 1976?" Ask they Ay, ye cuid be right ther, mibbes it wis. "You are gloating" Say they Um ah, an whit gies ye that idea? "The massive grin on your face" Reply they Whit, hus grinnin bin proscribed annaw noo? Ah'm jist smilin cause it's a nice day like that wan the telly is ay oan aboot back in nineteen sumhinty six😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 16, 2026

Replying to @bampot@mastodon.scot

Aw ah said wis thit it's gaunny be hoat theday, whae mentioned 1966? Aw, right, ah see, the telly did, but they huv bin mentionin 1966 at least twice a day, every day, fur sixty feckin year. So whit ur they sayin tae it this mornin en? ...'The Cruelest Defeat Since 1966' Whit a shower ae sad basarts....Heeeeeucht! 😁😁 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 16, 2026

Guid mornin, it's gaunny be hoat again, whit wis that? Ah never mentioned 1966. Naw, wiv goat milk, whit wis that? Like ah said, ah never mentioned 1966. Ah'm jist away oot fur a wee dauner afore it heats up, an ay, ah know, dinnae mention 1966. Dinnae worry, it widnae cross ma mind tae mention 1966, whit wid a want tae mention 1966 fur? 😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 15, 2026

Replying to @bampot@mastodon.scot

Och, see that wean, he's jist fantastic, an he disnae ayweys hink ae himsel. No only did he go an git me a new pack ae ice trays, he goat me a big bag ae ice oan his wey up the road annaw. Dinnae worry, this isnae child coercion oan ma pert, cause Furstly: He's no longer a wean An secondly: Ah paid fur these items, plus, he goat himsel a new per ae trainers annaw...Whit! "Well, you said get something for yourself" Replies he 😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 15, 2026

Replying to @bampot@mastodon.scot

It's no often ah huv tae resort tae the shitty stick as a threat, but it's the only hing they seem tae unnerstaun. See, an ordinary stick is nae guid, they wid take the threat ae a guid skelpin wae an ordinary stick as some cinna jest. But wan mention ae a poke wae the shitty stick an yiv instantly gained ther attention. Shitty sticks ur the best hings ever invented, an ther easy tae make annaw. Jist git yersel a stick an unblock the lavvy wae it, Boabs yer Granny, wan shitty stick..Sorted 😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 15, 2026

Replying to @alexadeswift@lgbtqia.space

@alexadeswift@lgbtqia.space Ye need tae stert wae the Glesga comma, ye cin yase that wurd tae fill in ony pause, well, ye cin yase it fur onyhin appose, even as a greetin. Example: Awrite ya cant? Ya cant, it's yersel! How ur ye daein ya cant? Except it's spellt wae a U, it's only pronounced wae an A. 🤔😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 15, 2026

Replying to @alexadeswift@lgbtqia.space

@alexadeswift@lgbtqia.space Ay, ah cin see thit yer no very guid at it 🤔😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 15, 2026

Replying to @bampot@mastodon.scot

The public enquiry hus concludit an the Jnr sais "I just borrowed it" Whit dae ye mean borried it? Yiv never borried onyhin in yer puff san, wance it's gaun, it's gaun. "I will bring it back later" Replies he "I have ice in it just now" Lucky you, ah tell ye whit, take this bit ae paper an nip doon tae Bargain Buys, ye'll git a pack ae thaim in ther fur piss pence, an ah'll even hauf thaim wae ye. "Aaaww, why me?" Sais he Cause the shitty stick wull be comin oot if ye dinnae 😳😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 15, 2026

Right, so whers ma feckin ice cube tray away tae noo? Thers only a wee toaty wan in the freezer! Sum basarts swapt thaim roon. Is ther nuhin sacred in this hoose? Well, ah'm cawin fur a public enquiry oan this metter, cause ye jist canny huv fresh orange an tonic wae oot ice. I wull tell you this, the shitty stick is comin oot that cupboard very shortly. Consider yersels warnt. Nae wonner ah swer 😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 15, 2026

Dinnae talk tae me aboot yeast. Furst it came in wee tins, en it wis 8 wee sachets, en it went doon tae 6 wee sachets. Noo 2 wee sachets ur priced up as a feckin luxury product. So ah didnae borrer gittin it, cause ah've goat a jar ae soordough sterter in the fridge. Ur so a thought, whae threw that oot? Well, that wull be me away tae dae ma second lap ae the toon this mornin, a luxury product is required. Dinnae talk tae me aboot breid. Ah mibbes swer 😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 14, 2026

It's International Rescue time ae year, an sure enough Thunderburds Ur Go this mornin, ther this wee dug oot the back, barkin away. So the usual protocol fur such instances is tae phone the store an git thaim tae make an announcement, but this wee fella hus a phone nummer oan his collar. Ring ring..Ur ye missin a wee dug? An this voice fae the orrer side ae the hedge in the overgrown widland shouts ..Ay, how dae ah git oot ae here? No that wey. Thunderburd Wan wull be required efter aw! 😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 13, 2026

Replying to @alexadeswift@lgbtqia.space

@alexadeswift@lgbtqia.space Ah widnae hing very much ae him! They wir bad this mornin tae! But thers no jist midges up ther, whit aboot the ticks, mosquitoes, clegs an the billions ae orrer wee blood leechin basarts thit live oot ther in wir boggy moorlands? That track runs up alangside the wids tae! It widnae be me onywey, ah hud the full NBC suit oan fur ma mornins dauner! 😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 13, 2026

Ther this boy clad in nuhin mair thin a per ae trainers an Booby Moore's 1966 fitba shorts, joggin up taewards the parks at the crack ae dawn this mornin. So he stoaps tae ask if he wis gaun the right wey. Well ah sais "Ay, yer gaun the right wey, but shoorlies yer no gaun up ther dressed like that ur ye, huv ye no goat ony orrer claithes wae ye?" "Whit fur? It's a nice mornin" Replies yer man "Predation" Sais I "Ye'll git eaten alive oot ther san!" Ah dunno, mibbes he's a sadist? 🤔😳😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 12, 2026

Replying to @Lstn2urmama@mstdn.ca

@Lstn2urmama@mstdn.ca Ah make ma ain, an ye cin actually make thaim quite tasty. Well, they seem tae like thaim onywey. But if ther gittin a light incineration oan the barby, yiv goat tae add oils an fat tae thaim, orrerwise ye end up wae nuhin mair thin burnt toast oan yer burger bun! 😳😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 12, 2026

Replying to @Lstn2urmama@mstdn.ca

@Lstn2urmama@mstdn.ca But ye still need the salad an sauces tae hide the nuhin taste ae ther veggie burgers 😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 12, 2026

Replying to @Lstn2urmama@mstdn.ca

@Lstn2urmama@mstdn.ca 😁😁 Och, ah'm away ahead ae ye wae that wan, thers three ae thaim apposed tae be vegetarian. But wull see whit happens efter thiv swallied a couple ae Peroni's. Ah wid imagine thit ther lentil burgers an Dandelion smoothies wull be oot the windae, an they wull be fun lyin oan the gress chewin oan the discarded bones. This is whit usually happens onywey! 😳😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 12, 2026

Replying to @bampot@mastodon.scot

Dinnae talk tae me aboot barbecues. Right, so whit time is ignition set fur theday ah wonner? Checklist: Burgers, various √ Sausages, various √ Hot dogs √ Chicken bits √ Condiments an Sauces √ Burger Rolls √ Finger Rolls! Whit, nane? See, this is whit happens when an aw wuman shoappin team goes oot furra couple ae messages, they come back wae new taps ana new bag each, fuck the shoappin list, that's no important. Ah'll jist nip doon tae the shoaps en, wull ah? Ay, luiks awfy like it 😄😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 12, 2026

"What are you making?" Ask they "It smells really good" Dis it? Well, whit ah'm makin is chick pea burgers an lentil burgers thit smell ae nuhin an taste like toast, jist fur thaim thit claim tae prefer such scran. Whit yer smellin is the doggy bag sumbdy brought hame fae the Indian last night. "So what are we having for tea then?" Ask they Ah'll gie ye three guesses. "Not mince?" Say they Och naw. We're huvin the doggy bag fae the Indian restaurant! Only kiddin. Wir huvin mince! 😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 10, 2026

The UFO's flew aw oor America They made nae sound an they never hud wings An politicians said "Ther ur yer aliens" The people said "Ther satellites by jings" En a big wan jist hovered fur ages An the people said "Oooft, feckin ell!" That's no a cartoon ur a werrer balloon It's a drone made fae light aerogel But politicians said "Ther ur yer aliens Youse cin see aw ther spaceships fur miles" An the people hud only wan question Whaes hidin aw they Epstein Files?

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 10, 2026

A lorry driver, a forklift driver an a gress strimmer operator walked intae a bar. An the cleaner said "Wir no open yit, it's only six o'clock in the mornin ya shower ae noisy basarts" Sound travels..Guid mornin 🙄😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 10, 2026

Here lies Doris Karloff A nasty piece ae shit She wis only in it fur hersel An took whitever she cuid git Byeeee... Next please..

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 09, 2026

"Are you having a party at the weekend?" Enquire they Whit cinna perty, a scone an biscuit type ae bash? "No, a proper party" Say they Whit fur? "It's your anniversary" Reply thaim Wher did ye glean this info fae? Yiv never mindet afore. Well as far as ah'm aware, thers nae perty oan the cairds fur this weekend. Next hing they stert chantin: 'No party no anni No party no anni' Ah take it the weans ur plannin a revelrous soiree. Wait tae they git dished up scones an cucumber pieces 😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 07, 2026

The werrer is damp It's no bin dry since The last time ah made A big pot ae mince Noo that wis a while back So it seems tae me Theday is a guid day Tae huv mince fur tea See mince is a staple Ye jist canny whack it But whit aboot dough baws? They raise it a bracket Bugger! Ah knew ther wis sumhin missin. Huv ye mashed the tatties? Bugger! Ah knew ther wis sumhin missin. Whit wir ye plannin oan huvin, mince wae mince? Awrite, whers ma tattie scraper? 😁😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 05, 2026

Here ma top tip fur the day: See they sparky flint stick hings thit campers yase tae light fires wae? Well, dinnae fuck aboot wae they hings if yer werrin a nylon lined fleece cinna jaiket. Cause wan ur mair ae they sparks cuid mibbes shoot right doon yer sleeve an set ye aff like a firework. Jist gaunny trust me oan this wan. Wis that a second ur third degree burn ther, an did ye git that bit ae meltet jaiket linin aff ma elbow? 😁😳

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 04, 2026

Replying to @alexadeswift@lgbtqia.space

@alexadeswift@lgbtqia.space Mibbes no, they cuid jist be really hard an wee bitty sair oan the gums, even although yiv safened thaim up a bit wae Jobbies! 🤔😳🤮😁

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Sony @bampot@mastodon.scot · Jul 04, 2026

So ah sais tae the mucker doon the store "Whit ur these French Mini Pains here, dae they hurt a wee bit when ye eat thaim?" "Pit yer glesses oan" Sais he Ah dinnae need ma glesses oan, the writins big enough tae read, an it sais French Mini Pains oan the packet. "Yer right enough" Replies himsel "Ah hink it's French fur breid?" It disnae translate very weel en, dis it? Noo here an idea, ah cuid git a jar ae Malaysian peanut butter an huv a Jobbie pain! 😳😁

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