@ziphi@meow.social I feel this in so many ways. Thanks for sharing.
I'd also grow resentful of casual talk about sex, partly out of concern for SFW spaces. It seems nearly everyone's into that, at least around me. You can't change everyone though, so the hatred really was just ballast that had to get dropped eventually. These days I just sigh and move on. Not perfect, but much better than hurting others, and yourself in the process.
Love and compassion is indeed the best driver of change, and there are so many examples you can find: how people naturally close off when faced with hate, how a well trained teacher can quiet down a group of loud students without shouting, hell, how China is winning as a world power by producing decent quality products without engaging in bullying.
The fact that I'm hesitating to quote the Bible ties back to your first paragraph, but I think Romans 12:21 puts it well:
Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.