WhyIHateTheInternet

One million miles an hour fast sleep by the Rx Bandits comes to mind

Fuck all that I want to know what your onomatopoeia are

For me it was more like actual death. I quite literally thought I was dying and begged my wife to call 911. Fortunately she is experienced and did her best to keep me contained. Started with time becoming very mixed up or out of order. She was answering questions I hadn’t asked yet and I was perceiving reality as a single experience rather than a normal flow of action/reaction like everything was happening all at once. Like you said, there are not words for this, language is far too simple to convey the idea but it humbled me to the point of non-existence. I knew for a fact that life was not a series of events, it was all the same event happening in a singular moment totally separated from any idea of time as we normally perceive it. At that point it no longer mattered if I was dying/dead/alive… I was all of those things. Always have been. Eventually I could no longer speak or even walk. Speaking, walking, thinking, all of that implied a forward flow of time which no longer was the case for me. My wife said I just laid on the ground eyes wide and filled with tears. She said she tried to talk to me and keep me calm but I never responded at all. She even put her Fitbit on me just to be sure my vitals were good, which of course they were. What started as terrifying simply became so intense I couldn’t even fear anything any longer. I just…was but also wasn’t. That lasted for about 30 minutes per my wife’s judgement. It was infinite for me at the time. Even after the peak it took several hours before I could speak correctly or form content thoughts. Next day I knew for certain I was done with all drugs. I didn’t need them anymore. Never did really. I wish I could tell you what is was like but all I can really do is explain certain simple ideas such as what I said above. We are the universe experiencing itself subjectively and the idea that I or anyone is actually important is exceedingly ridiculous.

I literally had mushrooms make me stop taking drugs. Absolutely destroyed my ego that night and I never touched anything again. Well I tried to smoke weed a couple of times after that but it just gave me severe panic attacks. Even the thought of taking mushrooms again gives me chills. I had taken them hundreds of times and I guess they just finally said, “you’re finished. You’ve completed drugs.” I am still an advocate for psychedelics though, they have so much to offer.

I hate to tell you this but basically normal human eyes don’t really do that… °oO°0. O°o•°%

My trip phobia does the same

If I had a nickel for every time a first lady did this I'd have one nickel. It's not a lot but it's odd that it's that high.

You might be right. I just keep seeing don’t lame ass ceo making a heart with her hands.

I keep clicking that but the meme never shows up

I have a USS Enterprise Pizza cutter. It's awesome. It's worthless as a pizza cutter but it's still awesome.

You can prolly just not connect it to Wi-Fi but I seriously doubt any TVs these days don’t have this bullshit.

Almost intense as a neti pot

Not me. I ate a jalapeno today that was the hottest fucker in the bunch. Forgot to wash my hands. Both my mouth and eyes were on fire. Worth it.

I'm gonna bite you

They diffuse into everywhere I swear

I meant Iran. Trump did that. 👈

Well yeah, it's his fault

I am comfortable with it in my right hand but I have a tendency to click the buttons backwards. Trackpad is easier one finger left click 2 finger right click just seems more intuitive.

At this point I just assume you only get famous by being a piece of shit

I don't own a mouse. I like the trackpad because I'm left handed and a mouse always felt weird to me left handed because schools in the 90s forced me to use it right handed.

I know right? It’s pretty obvious the dude is just chillin 24/7 not doing shit about anything.

Is this what they mean by eating pussy?

That’s cool

Well, don’t leave us bros hanging! What did she mean?

My wife works in customer service and half the people she calls have this. I think a lot of it is people not expecting this and they end up rambling or speaking incoherently when thrown off. She always just says “this is x calling from x” and gets through fine

Amazing! Thank you for asking! Just to be sure before I go ahead, did you have any input on the previous months business before I push it forward? Hope your doing well! Have a great weekend! Talk to you soon.

Hi! It's been going really great! Just wanted to circle back to our previous conversation from before the holidays. Did you get my message?

The golden arches standard

As per our earlier conversation... Hello

Don't worry Donny, these men are cowards

I'm half expecting the aliens to come down and be like "you've just been Punk'd!"

So, do you have a minute?

Without his knee? Literally unwatchable.

I still have my beans and cornbread version of Beetlejuice VHS (dinner and a movie)

You can’t un-Zimbabwe swamp cannon the Zimbabwe swamp cannon unfortunately.

You surrendered all consent when you clicked it.

This is one of those things that sounds just true enough to get away with beginning a fact that I read somewhere one time.

Prolly has 2 step verification now that I think about it… Someone has goooot that number. I need to make it mine.

There’s about 2 million in my area code, I’m sure it’s working pretty well for that person.

Works at most every “do you have a phone number with us?” Place in existence. Someone out there has a shitload of Walgreens points.

It was found on a bathroom wall I believe.

Access to the tub jets plumbing most likely